My Two Cents

Fruit Fly Shenanigans

2011-11-08T11:35:00.004-06:00

When I was younger-- early elementary school ish-- I had a fruit fly incident. My neighbor and I were innocently jumping on her awesome giant trampoline (commonly referred to as the "tramp" which now has some serious comedic value...), squealing and trying to out-do each other with parent-approved acrobatic tricks.

For some reason that I can't recall, said neighbor girl went into her house for a brief minute and I joyfully embraced the opportunity to have the whole tramp (hehe) all to myself. I jumped and twirled and did back drops, seat drops, donkey kicks, everything I could imagine except for the forbidden flip. All of the sudden my bliss was rudely interrupted by a loud noise in one ear. I stopped dead between jumps and waited for something (what? beats me) to happen. Out of nowhere an insanely loud BUZZING rattled my brain. I grabbed the side of my head and shrieked. I dug my finger into my ear trying to get whatever was buzzing OUT.

I continued this psychotic behavior as I haphazardly ran home-- screaming and slapping my ear all the way, playing the part of the neighborhood basket case who'd finally flown off the deep end. I quickly got to my house and by the grace of God alone and mom-super-powers, my mom was able to figure out what happened amidst the shouts, tears, ear slapping, and overall terror I presented her with. She quickly sent me to my room. Seriously? I was in the midst of serious trauma and I'm getting punished? Yep. I later learned that this was so she could call the doctor's office to figure out a game plan. My sister was a bystander in the commotion and thought my mom had HIT me and that's why I was holding my ear and bawling. The mayhem of it all! All this time that damned fruit fly kept buzzing away intermittently. There was no rhythm, no predictability, nothing. Out of the blue all of the sudden BUZZ. It scared me spitless every time and instigated a whole new fit of tears and hysteria.

In the haze of memory, I don't recall the drive to the doctor's office or how my mom tolerated my behavior whilst driving. I remember finally being in the exam room and the doctor essentially squirt-gunning the little devil out of my poor ear canal. I remember them counting the legs and wings to make sure they got it all. So gross. Needless to say, I have a bit of a grudge towards the pesky little flies.

All this is a major contributing factor to my fury towards the fruit flies that are overtaking my apartment. They are SWARMING. I have a bad habit of leaving the cupboards open, and the other day I realized "ew, I should close them so these damn flies don't go in." Too late. The next morning I opened one only to see a bunch of them fly out of it. IT IS SO GROSS. I have many a dishes that need a washing, and I'm pretty sure that's why the damn flies are here anyway, but I can't wash them without creating a swarm of fruit fly fury! I have tried attacking them with a 409 squirt bottle, but can never get enough of them to have a window of safety to wash the damn dishes. I have tried the apple cider vinegar traps and while a few are accumulating (grosser), there are many more that aren't falling for my tricks.

I finally took the garbage out. That was a big step. It was the home base of the enemy. I refused to take the bag out of the can-- the can was pretty sad anyway. On my way home from church last night, I stopped at Target and just bought a new garbage can. This morning I dawned gloves, put my hood up and cinched it tight (ear protection), preparing for battle. I'd placed a trap on top of the garbage can, so I had to first move it first, which was tricky because a few of the little terrors were just sitting on top of the trap. I darted in for the maneuver and a swarm rose and I shrieked and retreated immediately. After a few minutes of staring them down, I crept back in. This time I needed to pull the garbage can away from the wall in order to secure another garbage bag over the top of it for transport to the dumpster. I finally gathered the courage for the task and I accidentally pushed the button to flip open the lid! They came POURING OUT OF THE LID IN MASSES. I swore at them and felt my stomach flip flop. Not a good time for puking, self. I was paralyzed in terror and watched as they just kept coming out of the grotesque can of rubbage. I then realized they would keep coming out of it until I closed the lid again so I darted into shut it. FAIL. IT FLIPPED BACK OPEN. OH MY GOSH THIS IS INSANITY. I went back in for a second attempt and was thankfully successful. I backed away quickly and just watched in horror as the amount of fruit flies seemed to have quadrupled and my progress hadn't budged forward a bit. I had a moment of clarity when I realized the ridiculousness of the situation. After a brief mental pep talk, I went in again- and THE SAME THING HAPPENED. FML. I just started shrieking without stopping, slammed the lid closed, covered it with the garbage bag as the winged heathens swarmed my hooded head and I swear they attacked me. I had visions of cartoons scenes coming true... when all the flies form an arrow and point to their target... With the bag secure I took two seconds to breathe, then quickly ushered the whole thing outside into the (outdoor) hallway. Next-- recylcing. It was right next to the garbage, so while there's no fruit-fly-food, they still took a liking to it. By this point I was in the zone and just went for it-- breaking down boxes and consolidating them to three containers. One by one they went into the hallway too. For whatever reason it felt way safer with the hazardous waste outside my apartment than inside. I still kept gloves on and hood up as I transferred it all to the dumpster.

Next step? Dishes. I still am not sure how to conquer that battle. I seriously want a beekeeper's suit. :/

Purchase Confirmed

2011-10-06T14:12:00.002-05:00

As the weather has turned gray and rainy, I've wanted to go somewhere bright and sunny more and more. I'm in no life position right now to make major changes (like moving), so a getaway is the next best thing. During a rare lunch break at work yesterday, a friend and I were commiserating about the long winter ahead and were casually discussing a warm weather vacation. I had the brilliant idea to start browsing Groupon Getaways on my stinkin' smart phone to see what deals were available. I saw one for Costa Rica, somewhere I've always wanted to go, and my friend got excited about that one, too. I clicked on it and our conversation turned to something else, but I kept mindlessly browsing while we chatted-- totally not paying attention to what I clicked on. All of the sudden I as I glanced down at the touch-screen, I saw a window that said "Congratulations! Purchase Confirmed."

....

ummmm WHAT?!

"Guys, I just.... bought it!" I shrieked. I felt the blood drain from my face and my stomach do flip flops and my mind started racing: 'That is a LOT of money that just changed hands... I don't even know what this offers!... It's a getaway for two-- and I don't have a 'two'(sniffle).... I don't want to go to some unknown Costa Rica place by MYSELF! Will they refund it? No, it's a coupon!... SERIOUSLY, KRISTIN?!?!'

I'm a Groupon enthusiast, so it has my stupid credit card information saved, and in my mindless web surfing, I accidentally bought it. WHO DOES THAT?! Unfortunately, my lunch was taken at a late afternoon hour (as per usual), so Groupon was CLOSED and couldn't hear my sob story and refund my mistake.

As the afternoon turned to evening and we returned to patient care, we got to thinking... well.. I have always wanted to go there... It's a pretty great deal for the stay, we'd just need to find a flight... I have at least one friend that will come with me... So we started getting excited. Between vital signs, medications, charting, and all the other mayhem that goes down, we were frantically searching flights and our schedules to try and make something work. I was still kinda nauseous at the whole thing, but I must admit-- a tropical vacation with friends from work-- who have become really great friends!-- is totally something I could handle (and would really benefit from) right now. I'm young... not tied down... don't have to save money for my kids or anything... soooo... all in the spirit of adventure right? I think we're going to go! :)

It's at some hippie-mother earth-tranquility now-zen retreat place... that offers nutritional counseling (...great) and two 50 minute massages (kill me). I don't care about that jazz. The hotel part is cheaper than any other hotel we could find and we'll be in COSTA RICA! We don't have to have their ginger glazed tofu entree... we can do whatever we want. This excites me.

Planning is to continue... but my nausea has turned to excitement and it's all topped off by the fact it has to be used before November 30th! HA! Love spontaneity, even if it comes completely by mistake.

For you, mom. :)

2011-09-09T17:58:00.003-05:00

One of the perks of living in Seattle is that trips home are far more practical and frequent than when I lived in Chicago. I love my family-- both immediate and extended. It wasn't until I was in college and had to start missing Thanksgiving and/or Christmas because of expensive plane tickets and/or work schedules that I realized how much I wanted to see them more. I've been in Seattle for almost two years, and while I haven't seen them all heaps more than I did, I feel closer. I got to go to my cousins beautiful wedding, I saw my cousin and her daughter when they made an unexpected trip to Seattle, my mom was able to drive up when I really needed her to, I just got to go home for my Grandma's birthday... It's been good. While I seriously doubt how much long term potential Seattle has for me, I've enjoyed the proximity to my family that it's offered.

It was at said Grandma's birthday extravaganza that my biggest fan (aka my mom) made a public request for me to post on this blog. Awkward? Um, yes. What can ya do.. she's a mom.

It's true, I went on a blogging hiatus in May I think. Truthfully, it's because it's been a pretty crappy summer.. and to be blunt, I refuse to be one of those emo-sob-story-feel-sorry-for-me-this-is-all-my-shit bloggers. Who wants to read someone else whining? Not me, that's for sure. To sum it up... I got dumped. There was conflict present and ex Mr. Wonderful went to New Zealand just as it reared its head, so we agreed to deal with it when he got back. But the day after he returned to Seattle, he decided he didn't want to try to work anything out and ended our relationship (after going to church that morning, kayaking that afternoon, and having sushi that evening). So-- a tense summer with everything hanging, then a huge life changing disappointment. Not blog worthy in my opinion.

It's been a horrific month. I can't put it any other way. I think it's a testament to the absolutely wonderful life I've been blessed with, that getting dumped has been so gut wrenchingly devastating to me. I've been blessed within it though, and it's those blessings that help me get out of bed, go to work, remember to breathe and essentially get through the day. I've always thought my social circle in Seattle was so small if existent at all. But, I've been pleasantly surprised at how many people have risen up and said "I'm here," amidst everything. It's been very helpful, and my social calendar is so full-- I love it. Nothing will ever undo the hurt that was done, but I am trying so hard to trust that God will make good of this and that in time I will be okay. Truthfully, I'm still broken.

...this is starting to sound like one of those bloggers...

Despite all that, I'm coaching a soccer team again. It's a great activity that I'm thankful for. This time around it's middle school girls. There are 24 of them and they're quite the bunch! We got one practice that lasted one hour before our first game (which is to be held on Monday). It will be quite the character building experience. Of the 24 I'd say about half of them have never played before. Girls will show up with their hair down. They forget their socks so they're wearing cleats and shin guards only. I'd be lying if I told you nobody showed up in clogs on the first day. Don't get me started on their "beehive" technique in playing the game. There are so many things I want to show them, teach them, help them do better-- but in an hour I can only do so much. OH YEA-- and for my 24 girls we get a whopping NINE soccer balls! Nutso.

Anyway, that's all I guess. Really nothing comical or uplifting for that matter, but a post is a post. Happy, mom? :) I'm sure many a funny story will come with this group of girls-- they're a fun group so far.

"Don't defibrilate me."

2011-05-08T19:51:00.004-05:00

I'm pleased to report that there have been a few sunny days in Seattle. They are sparse and almost too much of a tease more than anything, but I am so thankful for the warmth when it decides to swing by.

Unfortunately we're church hunting again. The place we'd found in ...September-ish (I think) is essentially closed for 5 months. I'll spare the dramatic details, as they're quite confusing and they don't change the fact that the place we liked is no longer available. Church hunting is not my favorite activity, but I eagerly await whatever life lessons this journey holds.
This morning we went to a place that I can see myself liking. During the sermon the pastor was talking about having a calling, which naturally made me think 'what's my calling?' I immediately think to my job-- I love it and I guess if I had to answer someone in a hot second, I would claim that. But does that mean I should be doing it ... all the time? I've been trying to figure out what activity/hobby/whatever I should take on, and it seems I'll be staying in Seattle for at least another year. Grad school? Ugh-- let's not go there. Another job? What? Trying to find a coaching opportunity that will work with my work schedule is close to impossible. The pastor said something else, too-- that we should be doing things related to our calling.. our activities and choices should all be an investment in our hobby. That is logical, but if my calling is actually work-- I can't imagine having all my activities center around that.
I miss college-- when I was so busy with classes and soccer and giving silly campus tours that I didn't have time to think about a calling. I feel very stagnant right now and it's my own fault completely, but I feel like choosing something is a big deal-- commitment, pressure, etc. It's overwhelming.

Mr. Wonderful got a contract to teach at his dream job at his dream school for another year-- which is wonderful and I'm very proud of him. He beat out other faculty who have more experience and seniority. It's a big testament to how valuable and awesome of a teacher he is that he was offered a contract.
Our plan B if he didn't get one was to do travel nursing. I'd do the nurse part and he'd get temporary subbing jobs or odd jobs wherever we went. It was his idea even! I've wanted to do travel nursing since nursing school, but the timing has never been right. First it was 'They don't hire new-grads' so I decided to work for at least a year and then look into it. I did exactly that, but of course the economy had tanked-- hospitals couldn't afford travel nurses so jobs were really sparse and being given to way more experienced nurses. So I moved to a permanent job in Seattle. While I really love my job here and feel very privileged to work where I do, Matt and I both know that Seattle isn't where we want to live forever, and are both excited for the day we can move. I was really excited to finally pursue travel nursing, but again-- it's been put off. It's quite conflicting, I won't lie-- I'm so happy that his career is working out and that he got what he wanted. My joy for him is genuine. I can't deny my disappointment, though, that we'll be here
for another year, and that a 'dream' of mine is postponed... again. I understand why and for the most part, it makes sense. I think I got my hopes up a little too high.
I am trying my darndest to see the bright side-- I get to look a little harder for some good things about Seattle, embrace parts of it that I've ignored. I believe whole heartedly that God wants me here for a reason, so it's probably in my best interest to figure out why.

Complete topic shift: I love spinning and I've been getting reacquainted with the treadmill. I'll leave it at that, as my speed (or lack thereof) is shameful in comparison with where I once was, but the fact of the matter is that I've made very slight progress and I'm insanely grateful for it. I'd love to do another triathlon this summer. I've gotta get my fitness back first though.
A few weeks ago, as I was cleaning my bike off after spinning, the instructor gave a shameless plug for the other classes she teaches and for a free 50 minute fitness assessment. I forget her exact wording, but she said something about creating a plan to help you achieve your fitness goals and that caught my ear. I want to get back into lifting weights as I miss being toned, and the positive effects resistance training has on your metabolism are ones that I'd benefit from greatly. I've hesitated to visit the weight section of the gym because I've only got the same routine I've had since high school and college-- it's all soccer specific. Maybe I don't want soccer thighs anymore... Maybe this lady could set me up with a lifting routine that would be more appropriate to my fitness aspirations now. So I argued with my self for a good 3 minutes as I wiped down my bike eighteen times... and finally decided to inquire. I opened with "Here's the thing: there is no possible way I can afford personal training sessions... but I'm curious about this free assessment..." She suckered me in and at noon the next day I was walking into my 50 minute fitness assessment. First she asked me about what I ate and I cringed at the thought of my refrigerator full of condiments and my freezer full of Bocas. I told her it is pretty random, but I don't eat meat. So that conversation focused more on protein and its importance (durrrr) than anything which was fine because I hate talking about meal plans with people who don't even know me. So then we moved on and she said "let's do some measurements." All the blood in my head immediately drained and I felt clammy. My heart was racing and my stomach immediately started doing flip flops. I don't know why I reacted so strongly... I knew that measurements are standard in any assessment. So there, smack dab in the middle of the open floor plan of a mega gym, this lady took calipers to all my cushy areas... she used a tape measure in more places than I ever imagined, and she weighed me. All in the midst of bodybuilders, ballerinas, super gym freaks, and the like. It was mortifying. People stare. I stared back... kind of a hate-stare. Hehe. But seriously-- if you ever see someone being publicly humiliated in such a fashion, it is just a common courtesy to look away. Nobody likes a starer.
So after she was reminding me of my pudgy body composition and ridiculous ratio of fat:nonfat, we did a mini workout. Really-- the exercises in and of themselves were no big deal-- I wouldn't have considered them a workout. For some reason though after the last one (pull ups... lets talk about how successful that was... PAH), I got so dizzy. I refused to admit that I might faint after such nonsense activity so when the lady said "are you feeling okay, you look very pale..." I was more insulted at her ballsiness to comment on my poor pigmentation. I insisted I was totally fine and she left to make a photo copy of my measurements for me. Bless her. I woke up to far too many strangers standing over me and I heard someone say "Get the defibrillator!!!" I meekly said "don't defibrilate me." Oh it was a grand scene. This is how my life goes. I guess diligent hydration should be higher on my priority list. Whatever. After all that, the assessment was really useless, I didn't get a new lifting routine out of it and I was insanely embarassed. All in a day.
Regardless-- I am enjoying the gym and that is a statement. Praise God for that one.

Random

2011-03-29T11:33:00.006-05:00

Long time, eh? I fairly genuinely enjoy spinning again! I have a favorite instructor at the gym here (will always hold a special place for Heidi at the Courthouse...)-- Julie. The first time she taught a class I went to, I saw her and was immediately terrified. She is very petite, short hair, and despite the fact that she isn't a young spunky 20-something fitness instructor, you can tell that she will kick your ass at any athletic event. She wore an Ironman bike jersey and had all fancy bike shoes and stuff. Shortly after we boarded our stationary bikes, I learned that her appearance was no facade... she was a legit endurance athlete. Definitely one of the HARDEST workouts, but I felt like I was able to get a lot out of it. It wasn't lame and it wasn't so insanely impossibly extreme that it was ineffective (don't get me wrong... the workout she led still made me want to throw up... several times). What I like best about her teaching style is that the workout is planned so that your cadence is always to the beat of whatever song is playing. She picks songs based on their beat. It's genius, and it is my preference... Everyone has their learning style in school... that's my learning style in spinning. I enthusiastically attend spinning whenever I don't work, and do my darndest to swim when I do work. Waking up at 330am is hard, though... even for the early bird. Especially three days in a row. Regardless of the mind numbingly slow nature of it, I call this all progress and am immensely grateful for it.

Anyway, I'm so excited for winter to be on its way out. Losing an hour of sleep was hard, but now it is still light out at 7pm and that is reason for celebration if you ask me. I've kept myself busy enough over the arctic months, but am hoping for a new activity to embrace. A part time job? Volunteering? Coaching again? Getting serious about triathlons again? Who knows. Working three days a week has its ups and downs. Sometimes if feels like I can't get away from that place no matter how hard I try, and I am exhausted to the deepest core of my being. Other times it feels like I don't really have a job and I'm sitting around all the time. I will never complain about a 3 day work week... I cannot picture myself in a Monday to Friday 9 to 5 situation. However, I'd love a more balanced feeling instead of jumping from one extreme to another.

In those work lulls, I've had some fun:

Snow shoeing with small group friends

Matt's little brother and sister came for a visit

We've gone hiking a couple of times... only once in the snow...

And most recently we learned how to paint!

I still need a dentist. I would be grateful for a good haircut. I think I'm low on contacts, too... meaning an Opthomolagist hunt is in my near future. Lame post, I know... but it's been over a month, so I figured I should say something. :)

Spinning

2011-02-07T10:25:00.006-06:00

Last week, I decided I should go to spinning and miraculously, I did! It was interesting. Not the sure death I was expecting, but nowhere near the thrill of when I went to spinning whilst in shape (and at the best gym ever-- the Courthouse). At this mega gym, I'm paranoid about not getting a bike, so naturally I showed up 37 minutes early. There was no sign up or anything so I poked my head in the spinning room, and of course there were about 50 lonely bikes without a soul claiming one of them. So I dilly dallied... went to the bathroom... checked my phone... deleted old texts... and then finally decided just to go wait it out on the bike. So, for 30 minutes before the torture began, I pedaled ... leisurely. In my cardiovascular state, even a leisurely pedal renders great amounts of perspiration an fatigue. When people started trickling in 3 minutes before the class started I was on my way to winded and sweating buckets already.

The instructor came in and we started warming up (pah! I was already sweltering). She decided she wanted to learn everyone's names (there were about 12 people there-- glad I got there early... psh). She heard my name as KristinE and I wasn't going to waste more of my breath trying to correct her.

We spun. We climbed "hills" we sprinted, we stood up we "hovered" we jumped... it was so hard. I totally pansy'd on a lot of it, I won't lie. I put forth genuine effort and it was reflected in my heart rate that we checked 3 times over the course of an hour. Each time I was at 180 beats/min. I feel like that's physiologically unhealthy, but I've never been a heart rate enthusiast during exercise, something I'm slightly considering changing.

At one point as I was huffing and puffing along, the instructor got off her bike in the front of the room and walked over to me. I was focused on staying upright so I didn't notice until she was right in front of me. She covered her microphone and asked: "KristinE, ...are you okay?" I looked at her-- half bewildered, half cross eyed and could only manage to nod my head 'yes' too enthusiastically and showered her in my sweat. Whoopsie.

There was one 'activity' where for 15 seconds one person would sprint while everyone else in the class maintained a non-sprint cadence and cheered the sprinter on. I wanted to die. It's one thing to go through this experience in the public setting of a group fitness class, but it's another to have that public setting LOOK AT YOU while you're suffering. It was mortifying and I was sure that if I didn't die from cardiac fatigue, then I'd surely keel over from sheer embarrassment.

Finally the class ended and I essentially fell off my bike. It was awkward. I felt very accomplished for finishing it, but really disappointed, too. I used to LOVE spinning and it would be my second or third workout of the day. Now it's all I can do to not only motivate myself to go, but to BARELY stay on the bike the whole time. I know I have a lot of work to do... and it's daunting.

I elliptical/biked the next day, then swam before work the day after that. (The chlorine does something to my nose-- I think it's like an allergy... I sneeze ALL day, and by the end of the day my nose is COMPLETELY occluded. It's hard to swallow.. hard to talk... very uncomfortable.) Anyway-- took yesterday off mostly because I didn't want to get up at 3:30am again to go before work.

I span? spun? spinned? whatever today and yesterday. It's very true that the instructor plays such a huge role in the experience. I have come close to enjoying spinning again. We'll see how it develops. I work the next three days so I won't get to another class, but will swim and perhaps venture back into lifting again before work. We'll see. One day at a time.

"I can't believe it's January!"

2011-01-21T12:59:00.011-06:00

I can't decide if a mid winter trip to paradise was a good idea or a terrible one.

In November, Southwest Airlines had a wonderful sale that landed Mr. Wonderful and me round trip tickets to LA for $120 in January. Hard to turn that down! So after a perfect little birthday celebration on Thursday night (complete with dinner ready for me after work, a new watch and his own rendition of "ice cream carrot cake".... ) we flew down to sunny So.Cal on Friday morning and had the best four day getaway ever. We didn't stay in LA at all. We rented a car and put 600 miles on it between Friday and Monday! He has family scattered in the great state of CA, and we visited all of them, and even had some extra time to explore what we think is the perfect city-- Santa Barbara!

Friday we flew into LA and immediately drove to Long Beach where we stayed the night with his grandfather.

Saturday morning we drove to Redlands (close to San Bernardino... I think) to visit his sister who is absolutely delightful.

That evening we drove to Oxnard (just south of Santa Barbara) and hotel'd it for the night. We ordered takeout (because we were kinda exhausted!) and Matt got something off the "exotic menu"-- kabobs with kangaroo, antelope, gator, and turtle!

Early Sunday, we drove up to Santa Barbara and explored the city and imagined how wonderful it would be to live there. We walked around downtown and enjoyed a local coffee shop, walked from downtown to the beach, then down the pier. Finally, we drove to Hendrie Beach, recommended by a fellow Seattle-ite that we met at the coffee shop! It was BEAUTIFUL.

The pier

LOVING THE BEACH

Sunday late afternoon drove along the Pacific Coast Highway down to Malibu (for a surf check-- of course!), then over to Santa Clarita to visit with another sister, and her husband and two kids (one is 7 weeks, the other is 14 months).

I don't think Baby Tim was loving me too much... he's got some great facial expressions!

Sunday evening drove back down to Long Beach. Monday, we spent quality time at the BEACH. Matt surfed and I sunned, it was perfect in every way.

Monday afternoon we had lunch with his Grandfather and went on a short walk, then it was back to LA to fly back to Seattle. Phew! It was such a fun trip. So beautiful, so refreshing. EXACTLY what I needed. The weather couldn't have been better, it was 75 perfect degrees all four days we were there! It got chilly at night, but during the day it was the the perfect shorts-n-t-shirts-drive-with-the windows-down-break-out-your-sunglasses-get-a-sunburn-and-love-it time of our lives. We kept saying "I can't believe it's January!"

I won't lie, I got pretty crabby on Monday when we left the beach. I knew we had to go back to Seattle, but truthfully, I didn't want to! I was finally warm! Regardless of whether or not I wanted to, we came back without major event (although Mr. Wonderful lost his phone in LAX, but found it right before our flight... grateful shoutout to whoever turned it in!).
So here I sit, in my apartment while it rains like crazy outside and the sky is a deep shade of grey. My goal this week is to find some divine beauty in the grey... it's Friday and I'm empty handed. God did handiwork in Seattle, too... right?
What can I say? I just like to be outside when it's warm. And I won't deny the benefits of the sun on my attitude. While the stereotypical culture of southern California (bleach blonde hair, super materialistic, etc etc) is a huge turn off for me, I can't help but long for the sunny weather and the real ocean at my fingertips. (If you tell me the Puget Sound is technically the ocean, I will tell you I don't care... no waves, no ocean.)
I mean seriously... once you see this and feel its warmth... mid-winter... it's hard to turn away from it!

Yup

2010-12-31T19:09:00.003-06:00

Christmas Eve is my favorite holiday by far and this year only solidified it's spot on top of my 'favorite holiday' list. I love being able to drive down to see my family after work (well, the actual drive was a team effort). It's wonderful to not have to drop several hundred dollars and try to plan several months in advance. It was fun to introduce Mr.Wonderful to my extended family. He was a hit and fit right in. I knew he would be well received, everyone he encounters loves him.
We hit the road back to Seattle around 9pm on the 24th and got home around 1am. Mr. Wonderful--er "Santa"-- had one more gift for me and I opened it here. We were so excited about our new toys and stayed up until 3ish playing!
While I wouldn't trade playing with Christmas toys in the wee hours of the morning for the world, waking up Christmas day for work was no easy task! I worked 5 of the next 6 days, and needless to say I'm pooped. Work has been particularly exhausting lately and I worry that I'm starting to feel burnt out. Our patient acuity has been insanely high over the past couple of months and it just creates a very tense working environment. I am grateful for the next week, as I don't work again until Thursday! Then I'll work a couple of long stretches again, then will seek reprieve in LA! We found some super cheap tickets on Southwest awhile ago, and said "why not?" So January 14th (coincidentally, the 6-month mark...), we'll escape the dreary, cold, wet winter here and embrace a warm and hopefully sunny southern California, where I am sure that I was meant to live in the first place.

No crazy exciting things to report. I could go on and on about work, but it's frowned upon. I need to find an outlet for all that tension and stuff... it's driving me nutty! I am starting to dislike working long stretches of days in a row because I don't have time or energy to think about anything BESIDES work or do anything but recover from the day. It thwarts my cardiovascular comeback, it drains me of motivation to do anything fun. I love my job, I promise.. but too much of a good thing is never a good idea. I need to figure out a better way to schedule myself.
Hopefully I can figure that out in the next week and also reflect on the past YEAR and all its goodness and lessons learned.

Text Twist (sit, wit, wits, its, twit, twits...), etc.

2010-12-10T13:08:00.004-06:00

So this whole dentist thing... I am quite conflicted! The entire staff is really very kind and personable and very welcoming. But I just cannot get over the shaky hand. I'm sorry! I really don't want to go back to this place, but I really should get my teeth cleaned! They keep CALLING ME about the damned appointment to bulk up my molars. Not only do I need the cleaning, but the original filling that Lipstick fixed still hurts. I would say it is getting worse, not in a dramatic fashion, but I feel it more and more often. It's probably just that the cavity underneath the filling she replaced is slowly growing. Sigh.

I feel comfortable telling them that I don't want to to the molar-bulk right now, but don't know how to say somethings wrong with that filling, but I want to get it fixed elsewhere.

I need to figure out how to get my records from this place (x-rays and such) because insurance will only cover so many x-rays so often. I don't want to be mean and say "You're nice, but your hand shakes so I'm taking my business elsewhere..." but that is what it ultimately boils down to. I've thought about how I can skirt around it... tell them that I'm moving far away or something... but I hate lying (especially to such nice people!) and it always ends up far too complicated. Boo!

In other news, Text Twist (warning, click on this link with caution, as it is a game that WILL take over your life), is my new favorite hobby. (Don't judge me.) My mind is constantly thinking of what words I can make out of the six letters in a different word, what six letters would make a up a good tricky word for the game, etc. I can't walk down the street without seeing a STOP sign and thinking 'stop? top..tops..pot..pots..opt..opts..spot.....etc' It's getting to be quite ridiculous. In conversation even I find it hard to focus on what the person is saying because the second they drop a six letter word, I feverishly start mentally rearranging the letters to get as many points as possible. I might have a small problem on my hands.

I'm slowly and anxiously getting back to the g-y-m. I'm hesitant to even acknowledge it for fear of jinxing the whisper of a comeback I'm approaching. On December 17th they're opening the new gym with the pool and classes, etc. I'm looking forward to that, and hope that some cross training will make getting back to running more practical and fun. There's a guy at my church (the pastor's father no less.. (...biological, not Heavenly...)) that is/was a running enthusiast. We met him early on when we started to get involved in this church and I always admired his wisdom and soft spoken nature. Last Sunday he asked how my recovery was coming and I didn't know what he was talking about-- then I realized, o yea I had surgery. Durr. I told him I feel pretty good but admitted that getting back to running is a really big challenge, and he offered some great advice. It was nice to hear from somebody who gets it... somebody who had been there... and who has come back! All encouragement is always appreciated, but there's something about hearing it from someone who truly understands where you're at that makes it that much sweeter. So, we'll see I suppose!

I can't wait to get home for the holidays and see my family. When I moved a year ago, I thought I'd see everyone so much more, but am shocked and disappointed (in myself) that the frequency of visits is still low. Maybe that should be a new years resolution. Either way, I can't wait to see everyone! I am also excited to introduce Mr. Wonderful. :) It's about time I bring someone to these family gatherings, shoot. I get to work Christmas Day (7am to 730pm, love me some day shift!), so we'll be driving back to Seattle late at night on the 24th. I'm praying for good weather... 'they' keep saying that towards the end of the month, the weather will get snowy again. Seattle with snow? Wtf. I don't really care, it will take a natural disaster to prevent me from going home. Wheather or not I get back in time for work... I'll try my darndest, but I will not miss family Christmas for it. Here's to the holiday spirit! (trip..trips..spit..pit..pits..its..sit..rip..rips..tip..tips....)

White Elephant-- I mean super fancy stuff.

2010-12-08T23:49:00.004-06:00

Preface
The way the legend of the white elephant was explained to me went something like this: in some far away land, long long ago, a white elephant was a super rare animal that only the highest people of the highest class might ever dream of owning. It was a status symbol, and the best possible one to have. A white elephant also brought prosperity and good fortune, suggesting the owner was wise and just. Upon the rare occasion someone got a white elephant, they were initially thrilled. However they soon realized it wasn't as great as they'd imagined. Since this animal was so rare and so important, it required delicate and around the clock care and it was insanely high maintenance. They could not be sold, slaughtered, be put to work, or given away. Soon enough the white elephant became a horrible and costly burden, and the owner no longer wanted it. Nobody wanted it.

So with modern day white elephant gift exchanges, I was under the impression you're supposed to bring something that nobody really wants. Something random, funny, off kilter a little bit.

So my small group decided to do a white elephant gift exchange. I couldn't think of something good... I consulted with people, googled ideas, but ultimately resorted to stopping by the clearance rack at Safeway. I pondered going to Goodwill, but there isn't one super close by so, that ruled out that option. Safeway failed me, so minutes before it was time to go, I was scrounging around my apartment. I ultimately found a touch light (where you just push the light and it turns on-- I think it's kinda cool, I won't lie), some sterile gloves from my "Nurse Kit" I got in nursing school, alcohol swabs, a loofah and some other exfoliating glove. Random, but that's okay, right? It's a white elephant exchange! I found an empty box in the recycling-- Golden Graham Treats. I stuffed it full and wrapped it in record time.

Flash forward to the exchange. I was excited. I was hoping to get something relatively cool-- someone else's junk could be my treasure! There were 9 people present, I drew number 8. The first person opened a gift and it was fancy-- two big martini glasses with a pomegranate martini mix. Yowzer, someone missed the white elephant memo... The next gift someone opened was a gift box of different fancy teas. What?! Who are these people!?! The next thing was a brand new fancy pants Mr. Potato Head. Really?! People spent REAL money on this?!?! Next was an ice cream topping set complete with cute bowls and everything. Oh shit. Some poor soul who put some real $$$ into this is going to get my touch lamp, loofah and alcohol swabs. How embarrassing! I prayed that no one would choose my box and I could just choose it myself and save someone from getting cheated (and save myself from mortification). However, the second I said "amen," the next person grabbed my modestly wrapped box off the table. I have to leave. I have to get out of here. I cannot watch this happen. But I was paralyzed and unable to sprint to the door like I so badly wanted to. Mr. Wonderful sat next to me, gleefully chuckling at my horror. Box unwrapped, the recipient was like "Awesome! Golden Graham Treats!!" Phew! They didn't open the box! As the next person chose their gift, I subtly made my way over to the unfortunate soul that got my box. I explained its contents and to not worry, that I'd steal it from him so he could get something awesome. He erupted into fits of laughter, far better than the response I expected: getting kicked out of small group. My plan worked marvelously and the only person who didn't get something super fancy was me, which was well deserved as I was the only person who didn't drop an entire paycheck on this shenanigan.

I am pretty annoyed to tell the truth. Am I completely wrong about the white elephant gift exchange??? Who are these clowns... how did they not know that you're not supposed to get ridiculously awesome things?! At the end of it, everyone got a good laugh from my misunderstanding, but I still maintain that they're the ones who misunderstood.

Dental Dilemma

2010-11-26T11:13:00.005-06:00

Within the past couple of weeks, I have had some insanely bizarre dental encounters. What sparked everything is something got stuck in my teeth one night so I decided to floss, which is an activity I very rarely participate in. While flossing something violent happened in my mouth and a tooth felt really funny. I learned the next day that if I chewed on that side, I would know what excruciating pain really feels like. For a solid five days I just chewed on the other side. I hate going to the dentist... if I could just be a unilateral chewer, that was a fine enough solution for me. However, I kept forgetting, and even brushing my teeth was uncomfortable, so I decided that since I have the insurance (even though I've learned that it's CRAP) I might as well use it and get this taken care of.

I looked up a dentist on 1800-dentist and made sure he was covered by my insurance. I was particularly drawn to this DDS because it had a blurb about how they're good with "high anxiety patients." I think I mentioned I hate the dentist, and I get VERY anxious when I'm there. This guy sounded like a good fit. I called and was surprised they could see me the very next day. I went to their website to print off the new patient paperwork, and microscopic part of me felt good about going.

I walked in at 8:18am and was quickly whisked to the back where they started x-raying (EACH INDIVIDUAL TOOTH!!! talk about extensive...). Then the lady said "I'll go get the dentist." I waited patiently and within a minute or two, in walked a younger middle aged Asian woman with poorly applied lipstick. This was shocking to me. On the website, the dentist I made an appointment with was pictured as an old balding white man. Who was this impostor? There were no other dentists listed at the practice. Baldy was IT. The website is even http://www.baldy'sname.com! Being non-confrontational, I rolled with it and just kept thinking 'You'd better be covered by my insurance!' She found the filling that I had shattered with my flossing escapade and fixed it. They even gave me the laughing gas so it wasn't too bad. Among the top 5 things I hate in life are those oral Novocaine shots. MAN they HURT! She finished and told me there was another cavity they found on the bottom that needed to be filled a different day. She started motioning for me to go to the front desk to get it scheduled, but I thought I was getting a teeth cleaning out of this deal too. Afterall, when I called to set up the appointment I didn't really mention the immense pain that I was in... I just asked for a new patient appointment and I assumed that a teeth cleaning would be part of that. However, I was wrong. Lipstick then informed that I would have to schedule the cleaning as a separate appointment and that the hygienist is very busy, so it might be awhile.

I think that's bizarre. In my short 24 (almost 25 thank you very much) years, every time I've gone to the dentist they clean first, fix second. They never just bypass the cleaning. I shrugged my shoulders, kind of eager to leave anyway, so I scheduled the cavity for early the next week and left.

Bizarre #2: I was still weirded out by the whole first visit. Strange dentists... no cleaning... just an off feeling. My mom suggested I just get this whole shenanigan taken care of, then the next time I need a dentist I look elsewhere. Good advice. I walked in and got situated in the same dentist chair only to be greeted by Baldy! I felt a small sense of relief. Phew, this is how it was supposed to be. He started getting situated and made some small talk. Seemed like a nice old man. He asked me to open my mouth and he put his thumb on my bottom teeth and I felt it. A very strong tremor. My dentist has a shaky hand. The man who would be drilling into my molar was unable to control his fine motor movements. Then I remembered that huge Novocaine needle. His hand was still in my mouth and my eyes BUGGED out as I frantically searched for a fire escape or something to get me OUT. It was a very small little room and there was no escape! My heart rate increased and I'm positive my blood pressure was through the roof. I was sweating. Tears formed in my eyes. I pleaded with God to send Lipstick back. There was nothing I could do. He swabbed the topical numbing stuff on a Q-tip and put it where the deadly needle would be. No assistant was in sight. Maybe someone with a steady hand would rescue me and do the injection. Within seconds that torture device was ready and he even SQUIRTED IT INTO THE AIR BEFORE COMING AT ME WITH IT! I hoped I was having a nightmare. I couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming down my face at this point (so much for handling the anxious patient, eh??? I didn't even get gas this time!! I needed a stiff drink...) He started moving towards my mouth in what felt like uber slow motion and the needle went closer and closer to my teeth. I heard it clink against my pearly whites as he shook. I felt faint. It went in my gums and it hurt like nothing I've ever felt before. It went deeper and deeper and as sharp white pains went from all different directions in my face. As he worked he mumbled "there are several nerves that connect to this tooth... so we'll have to go from three different angles..." That meant two more injections. He finally pulled the first needle out and I felt like I had run a marathon. I was panting, my hoodie concealed the sweat drenched t-shirt underneath it. I felt pale and kind of shaky myself at that point! The same thing happened TWO MORE TIMES.
I eventually surrendered to my fate and that I might have to sacrifice a molar. At least it was in the back and wouldn't be too obvious.

After what felt like eternity, he was finishing up. At this point, Baldy told me that my back teeth are moving and that there is space between my molars that will allow food to get stuck and cavities to form. He said he wants to "bulk those teeth up" to prevent it. I looked at him with the fear of God in my bloodshot eyes and feebly asked "when does that need to happen?" He told me he took care of one already (I am 90% sure I blacked out during that filling...) and that I needed to come back for the other side. I must have replied... a gurgle of some sort came from my throat. My whole face was numb. Not just one side, the entire thing. On the right side of my face it went all the way to my ear. I was certain I would never regain feeling in part or all of my face ever again and I entertained ideas of what to do with the $$$ from the law suit settlement.

I reluctantly scheduled a "buffering" appointment. I felt a teensy ray of hope when she said it would be with Lipstick, but still vowed to never return to that place again.

Bizarre #3: At 9:50pm that same night, Baldy called me. I didn't recognize the number, so I let it go to voicemail. His message sounded so creepy. His purpose was just to follow up to make sure that as the Novocaine wore off (twelve hours later...) that my bite felt okay blah blah blah. On the surface his intentions seem quite noble, but I just think it is SO WEIRD to call that late at night if it isn't... emergent.

Bizarre #4 (YES THERE IS MORE!): At work one day I noticed I had a voicemail so I listened to while eating lunch. Lo and behold it was the dentist's office. The receptionist (who is so nice, by the way) said that Baldy wanted to be the one to do the buffering so I needed to reschedule for a time that he would be in the office. Hell no. I didn't call back until the day before the scheduled appointment. I just called to confirm that I wasn't going to show up and that I would call later to reschedule. I have no intention of rescheduling.

While I want to swear off dentists, I know they're necessary. The original filling that Lipstick fixed still hurts. Not nearly as bad, but it's far from comfortable. Anyone know of a good dentist in Seattle???

Strike one, Seattle

2010-11-24T17:58:00.003-06:00

It snowed. A lot. Now it's very cold.

On Sunday as church was ending, I heard squealing from people standing near me and looked at them, curious why they were creating such a commotion. I saw that they were pointing out the window at giant white flakes floating from the sky. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I could have cried.
Fortunately, that nonsense stopped before anything stuck and I breathed a sigh of relief and refused to listen to anyone trying to warn me that it was coming back soon.

On Monday, Mr.Wonderful and I delivered a meal to a fellow small grouper who just had surgery. As we drove to Queen Anne, that pesky white stuff came down again. He giggled like a school boy with glee as I glowered in the passenger seat. We chatted with our friend for about ten minutes. I wanted to stay longer and play; she has FUN kids that I got to briefly babysit on the day of her surgery. However, there was no denying the fact that the weather was turning quite fiercely and it'd be wise to get home sooner than later.

I was shocked at how quickly it got 'bad.' It was the kind of snow that you see at the ski lodge... tiny white flakes, super strong wind... When you look at it under the street lamp you think "holy blizzard!" It stuck to the ground at an alarming rate. The roads started getting slick and traffic started going painfully slow. I was quite tense and so relieved I wasn't the one driving. We were almost back to my apartment. There is one sick hill before you can turn to my parking lot and we prayed as we inched up it. About halfway the wheels started slipping. We fishtailed and then just stopped. A horn honked behind us--- really, Toyota Camry??? Can't you see we're slipping?! Mr. Wonderful did an awesome job at being patient and safe and doing everything possible to get up that hill. We tried to go where there was snow (not just ice) to get some traction, but it was to no avail. We decided to park on a side street and walk the remaining way. Once on the side street, however, he wanted to try to get up the hill one more time on a parallel residential street. We couldn't make it a block. After three valiant efforts (and a lady watching us out her window...), we surrendered and parked six blocks away. We scurried to my apartment, cranked the heat.

It was a fun night... one of the benefits of living on the corner of a big intersections and having a lot of windows is you get to see some action when there is inclement weather... We bounced around from window to window... "we've got a slider!" or "here comes a BUS!" We saw some crazy people... some unfortunate car abandoning... but no one was seriously hurt or anything so I felt less guilty for watching others struggle with the elements from my warm perch.

We were stranded for a day... Tuesday morning we went searching for a sled, but everyone within walking distance was sold out. Darn! We walked all around the neighborhoods watching kids have the time of their lives as they flew down the steep hills... secretly hoping someone would offer us a ride! We walked by several sleds just SITTING in someone's yard or propped up against a fence. It took all of our strength to not borrow them... and we definitely contemplated ringing a few doorbells and asking. I wanted to find some cardboard and write "Will work for sled" on it. Worth a shot.

We finally got the guts to drive and we found a weird foam saucer for $16.99--- ripoff? Yes. But our options were SPARSE so we embraced it anyway. After greasing the bottom with vegetable shortening, we found a hill with no kids on it and went at it. It was so fun! Within no time at all there were 4 other kids there and a parent who was monitoring the intersection at the bottom! Perfect! One kid let us use his sled that was WAY better than our saucer... We had no 'tracks' on the bottom, so the saucer just kept going to the curb... it hurts when you hit the curb! The actual sled was awesome though and it went SO FAST.

It's still 20 degrees. I still refuse to drive. While I was 'stranded' for a day, I was with great company so it was far less traumatic than it could have been! Dare I say... fun! However, I still claim my dislike for snow and am quite irritated at Seattle-- I thought I escaped this nonsense when I left Chicago! They've been having weather in the 60s as the snow has fallen here. Go figure!

It's been an interesting couple of months. Several blog-worthy events.. hopefully they'll make it here sooner than later.

I get to spend T-Day tending to sick kids and embracing time and a half. I never care about working the holidays until I hear other people talking about how awesome it is to be with their families blah blah blah. Then I get a little melancholy. I suppose I will just look forward to Christmas Eve that much more!

Back in the Saddle Again

2010-11-05T01:01:00.003-05:00

Praise the Lord, I finally went back to work. The beautiful chaos was insane, but I couldn't help but smile inside amidst it all. My legs and feet are throbbing after thirteen hours (love me some over time!) of running around like a crazy person, but it hurts so good. Wouldn't you know it I worked today, and am not scheduled again until the 12th! Another workless week ahead, but some fun activities are planned so hopefully boredom will not come back.

The past four weeks have been mind numbingly boring. It was ridiculous and I struggled with it a lot. But who can legitimately complain about being bored... especially when those you would complain to are so busy and overwhelmed. It was kind of a lonely place to be. Just makes me all the more excited to get back to normal life!

I think one of the best things about going back to work is that I'm exhausted, and I think I'll sleep through the night tonight without waking up eighteen times. Also, I hope that I'll fall asleep without taking Tylenol PM or Nyquil or tossing and turning for several hours. The whole insomnia bit does not suit me well.

Today was great, and to top it off, Mr. Wonderful surprised me by making me dinner when I got home. AND DESSERT. How'd I get so lucky? However, he proceeded to beat me (twice) at our favorite card game. Whatever, I'll take it. :)

They cut me.

2010-10-13T16:36:00.004-05:00

So last Thursday morning my mom drove me to the Totem Pole entrance of the hospital. Approximately two hours later I was sliced open and they took out this:
SICK. 20cm, 4lbs, an ovary, one set of fallopian tubes, a lot of "holy toledo!"'s, and 20 staples later, it was over. I stayed in the hospital for one night and was discharged early afternoon the next day. I was so grateful to get my own room and to go home the next day. Honestly, I do NOT like being the patient.
My parents are insanely wonderful and my mom stayed until Sunday and was relieved by my dad who stayed until today (Wednesday). They are rock stars and I could not have recovered so smoothly without them.
The first couple of days were plagued mostly with nausea from the narcotics I got, so I quit those by Saturday night. I went to church Sunday morning, looking a little rough around the edges, but I felt so much better once I was moving and out of my apartment. I wow-ed (read: grossed out) people with my staples and had a grand ole time. I was ready to come home by the end of it. Mr. Wonderful stuck around for awhile after church and we watched (read: slept through) a movie with my dad then went on a short (three blocks, despite my begging to go farther) walk. It's been gravy since.
I have been surprised with how okay I feel. I expected it to hurt far more than it does. Sure, I can feel it... I still waddle a little bit when I walk. But on a scale of big deals, it scores very very low. Yesterday my dad and I walked around Greenlake; that's when I knew I was fine! It took us a while, but we made it around the whole lake.. and I was up for another lap, but decided to not push my luck.
This morning my dad took me to get the staples out. At that appointment I learned that the word of the day is BENIGN. Praise the Lord! I am so grateful that this cyst was actually just a cyst and nothing funky. I never had significant reason to believe it was the c-word, but even the 0.01% chance scares the dickens out of me and I am glad to put that worry to rest.

So now I have three weeks until I go back to work. I will go back to coaching on Monday, but am limited to standing. That sucks a lot because what I love about coaching is being active and playing.. but it will be good to have an activity regardless. The MD told me I get to judge when I run again, which is kind of dangerous. But this one is too messy to rush anything. It's not like my knee will hurt worse if I run.. it's my abdomen will spill open if I run. That's just messy.

While I wouldn't wish the whole shenanigan on anyone, I must say it's gone rather smoothly and the timing of it is quite ideal. I have great insurance, an employer that is working with me, and family who jumped when I said "help!" I feel really fortunate for how it's all gone down and I'm excited to get back to normal life!

Would you like some brownie with your garlic?

2010-09-30T09:21:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I bought box brownies to make for Mr. Wonderful and me to enjoy during our approaching adventure. I'm not much of a cook and while I enjoy baking, I still didn't have time or energy to make brownies (or anything for that matter) from scratch. So I found a box of mix for $1.25 and was so proud of myself for finding one on sale.

I went home and eventually remembered I had to still put them in the oven before they'd turn to real brownies. I dumped in the water and the egg(white)s with the powder, and then saw that it called for 1/4c. of oil. I don't have oil because as I already mentioned, I don't cook. Then I recalled I had bought (bought'n) extra virgin olive oil when I attempted cooking dinner for Mr. Wonderful on his first day in his new classroom (for the record that meal turned out pretty fantastic if I do say so myself). "Oil is oil, right?" I reasoned. So I dumped it in and started mixing. I wasn't totally mentally present, not paying 100% attention to the task at hand. However, I couldn't help but observe Man, it smells like garlic... (stir stir stir) ...maybe it's this spoon.. maybe it held on to something garlic-y... (stir stir stir)...it is REALLY strong though! And then it hit me. When I bought that damned olive oil, I mistakenly got the garlic flavored version. Ah crap.

Maybe it won't be noticeable enough to make a difference... I taste tested. So wrong! Oh my goodness it was AWFUL. I couldn't get that garlic chocolate taste out of my mouth to save my life. And to make matters worse, I had a huge bowl of the stuff just SITTING there! I had to walk away and regain my composure. I eventually made it back (clothes pin plugging my nose, I kid you not-- the whole kitchen reeked of garlic!) and scooped all that brownie batter into the garbage. Yuck. What a waste! Maybe once or twice a year do I encounter brownie batter and to waste it on garlic is just a shame.

You would think that I immediately took the garbage out to the dumpster, but you would be mistaken. It still sits in the can, and every time the lid flips open I am slapped in the face by the hand of garlic brownies once again. Another kitchen adventure for me. Aye carumba.

In other news: I'm getting cut! I have an insanely huge (20cm, ~8inches!) ovarian cyst (or that's what they're "assuming" anyway... ugh). So they're cutting me open and getting it out. Too big to be done laparoscopically which means I'm out of work for 4 weeks minimum, potentially 6! (but if I have anything to say about it, it will NOT be 6.) No driving for two weeks and I will probably never ever be able to run again which is high on the scale of unfortunate because while my running progress has been PAINFULLY SLOW, progress is progress and I am doing better now than I was a few months ago. While being sliced and diced is never an ideal activity, I have to admit how insanely fortunate I am. I have great medical insurance. I have an employer that won't fire me for needing 4 weeks off (they won't give me short term disability or FMLA... but they'll gladly let me use my vacation time or take an unpaid leave...) but the take home point is that I will have a JOB to go back to, for which I'm insanely grateful. I don't have kids or anybody that is dependent upon me for their daily care. I am not in school or anything that will take a hit from my insanely long recovery period. I will miss coaching and that does bum me out. But I think I'll be able to get to it quickly so long as I don't go chasing any stray balls or jump in a scrimmage.. hmm.
I'm also grateful for my family and the handful of friends I've got up here that are willing to jump and help out in whatever way they can. I'm seriously blessed. So while I'll admit being scared spitless for all this to go down, I totally recognize that I'm not doing it alone and there are some solid people who will walk beside me. Very very very grateful.
Shoutout to my parents who heard the news and dropped everything in their ridiculously busy lives to make plans to be here the day of and several days after I'm cut. They're kind of rockstar parents, but keep it quiet. I don't want them getting a big head. :)

DAYS!

2010-09-23T19:55:00.003-05:00

Guess who got a straight days position?!? Ding ding!! I did! I am on my knees with gratefulness that it has FINALLY happened. I really thought it might never come! I'd be lying if I denied looking up jobs elsewhere with day positions immediately available. I never actually considered quitting, but definitely toyed with the idea during those painful 2am-5:30am stretches (let's be serious 5:30am on isn't exactly a parade either..).
Anyway, I have no idea when I'll actually start the 'straight days' part of it all, but to know it's coming is exactly the boost I needed to get me through nights. I have a bad feeling in my gut that straight days won't start until after the holidays. I go back to rotating days at the end of October, then back to nights mid December. I feel like I'll have to do that last rotation of nights before I can embrace daytime with a permanence I've longed for since I started working almost two and a half years ago. Hallelujah! (that's the hardest word in the world to remember how to spell).

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2010-09-01T17:54:00.004-05:00

This week has been something else.

1) Sunday evening I went to plug in my phone so it could charge overnight. I was perplexed when it wouldn't charge. After trying several times in several different outlets, walking away and coming back to it five minutes later, and silently cursing at the darn thing, I finally surrendered and resolved to taking it to the Verizon store the next day. I walked there early Monday afternoon, as it was gorgeous weather and just over a mile away. The biggest question I wanted answered was 'is it my phone or the charger?' Go figure it was my phone. The charger port was broken. Of course my "best" option would be to upgrade and start a new 2 year contract. I said "No thank you," because my family who has so graciously kept me on the family plan is not feeling the upgrade and renewal vibe quite yet. That means I got to just buy a new (read: refurbished) phone. The cheapest option? A Motorola something for $90. Ouch. But I had no option. My current phone had two battery bars and no way of re-charging it. I signed my hard earned greenbacks away and looked forward to my new (to me) phone's arrival via FedEx the next day.

2) Tuesday morning my phone was DEAD. Not an ounce of life to it. I was kind of excited to not be always checking my phone and wondering if that soft buzz I heard was a text message or my mind playing tricks on me. I've been (assistant) coaching this high school team and I love it. This week the practices have been on the south side of the city, down by Boeing Field. The two JV coaches and I live fairly close to each other on the north side of the city so we carpooled. Tuesday, I drove to our carpool meet up point, parked, and left with the other coaches. We got back a good three to three and a half hours later and I walked to my car-- quickly as it was raining and it had been for the past three hours-- only to find that my car was not where I left it. WTF. I walked up and down the street a few times thinking "Open your eyes, Kristin, it HAS to be here!" Nay. No matter how much I wished it to reappear, my car was very much gone. Did I get towed?! Is it STOLEN?! NOW WHAT?!?! I felt the lump rising in my throat as panic set in. As if my missing automobile wasn't enough, I remembered my phone was dead. At times like these I call my dad because he knows what to do in most situations... or I call my mom who can somehow interpret my incomprehensible sobs in times of great turmoil and strife. I also considered calling Mr. Wonderful who lives in that neighborhood (but of course who was at work in Bellevue..) to see if he could piece together where in God's green earth my car might have wandered off to. No. None of those were possible. I was 3.5 miles from home so, I started walking. In hindsight, the walk was good because I had a lot of adrenaline and negative energy that needed to be released and the long walk helped. I got home maybe an hour later and was drenched, hungry, pissed off and defeated. I found Mr. Wonderful on Facebook chat and he told me I should call the police. I thought it sounded dramatic... that's for like car wrecks and robberies and stuff. He insisted-- I'd essentially been robbed of my car. There is a pay phone at the "BEER WINE" store across the street from my apartment. I somberly walked over with my laundry quarters and the small amount of dignity I had left and tried calling people. I tried calling my dad first but that damned payphone robbed me blind. What's worse is that I kept feeding it quarters thinking "This time it will work! It just needs warming up!" Seriously-- ALL of my laundry quarters-- gone. I called 9-1-1 and that was only successful because it's a free call. Lame. I told them all my information and the woman said, "Ma'am your car has been impounded." I was silent. (truthfully I was thinking 'what?! they took it to a junk yard?!' and then I remembered impounded=towed, not demolished.) I didn't know whether to be excited or pissed off. I was glad that it was (hopefully) intact somewhere, not being stripped down by hooligans then lit on fire. But I was so mad because someone towed my car for no reason. The 9-1-1 operator must have been reading my mind because she said "There is a note here that says 'driveway,' so that means it was parked too close to a driveway." "Really?! That's... crazy." I really try to not unleash my fury on the poor souls that answer phones because they're usually not directly involved with what ever caused my wrath. She told me the phone number of the towing place, I thanked her for her help (maybe half heartedly) and moped back to my apartment.
The whole morning I'd been wondering about my phone getting delivered that day. The nature of my apartment makes it impossible to get packages that require a signature (there's no front door buzzer... FedEx doesn't have keys to the front door.. it's ridiculous). I used Skype to call FedEx and ask "where is my package?" They said that it would be delivered by 3pm (at the time it was 2:30). I was pleasantly surprised that delivery hadn't been attempted yet and that it was a short wait period. I camped out at the front door and right at 3, the FedEx lady came. I could have hugged her. I needed to hug SOMEONE. I didn't though-- don't worry. I ran back to my apartment, eventually got the new phone (which btw is short and stout and ugly... not a big fan...) activated and started calling people.

a) Towing place: I learned it would cost me $170.22 to get my car back if I picked it up before midnight, and that they were open 24 hours a day and that they were kind of far away from where I live. Boo.
b) My dad: mostly to vent.

Well... I guess that's all the people I called. I talked to Mr. Wonderful online and he offered to take me to the towing place later. We had plans to have dinner with people in our small group at church and I was supposed to make a salad to take. After the day I had, I was so unmotivated to hoof it to the store in the rain to spend money I DON'T HAVE to make a salad. So I didn't. I laid down in my bed and I pouted. Not long after my pity party started, he showed up ready to go to dinner and I still was in sweat pants without any makeup or anything. He was so nice regardless of my ridiculous nature! I found a winner, folks. He talked me almost all the way out of my funk and we went to the store then dinner. Dinner was so great and exactly the distraction I needed. I had a great time and am so excited for my very slow growing social circle.

After dinner we drove to the towing place and I forked over the $170.22. While waiting I saw a sign on the wall about paying tickets. Man, that'd suck to get a ticket AND get towed! When the lady was giving my my paperwork she said (sympathetically, not mean) "And just to add insult to injury here is your ticket and information on contesting it." I could have thrown up. SERIOUSLY?! Speechless. I left, too exhausted to be actively mad anymore. I haven't looked at that paperwork since.. I probably should.

Anyway-- it was kind of a crappy day due to getting towed and being phone-less. However, I am really grateful for the people I've found here that are so quick to help and be supportive. It's actually quite exciting. The first six-ish months that I lived here were pretty lonely, and while I would hardly call myself a social butterfly, it's nice to have people that I know and who are enthusiastic to help when I need it.

It's only Thursday. I work Friday through Sunday and go back to nights on Tuesday. Pray for me, friends. As my attitude about my social life gets better and better, I've had a harder time being excited about work. Several factors play into that, but still. Night shift will not help anything at all.

And just so you know, parking within five feet of a driveway is apparently illegal in Seattle. For the record, I think that's the most BOGUS law ever-- five feet is almost a whole parking spot. Dislike. Major.

Puke

2010-08-25T16:28:00.003-05:00

*I recently flew to Chicago to attend and participate in the Alumni soccer game. Of course it was thunder storming as my plane from Sea-Tac to O'Hare was ready to land. I am not a big fan of storms at all to begin with, but whilst in an aircraft at 36,000 feet in the air, fear takes on a whole new meaning. The storms created turbulence like I'd never experienced it. At one point my seat dropped out from under me! My knuckles were white as they gripped the seat and beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I was sooo nauseous, but that's not entirely uncommon when I'm on a landing aircraft so I didn't think too much of it. As we bounced along for what seemed like hours but in actuality may have been ten-ish minutes, I couldn't help but laugh. I felt like a crazy person-- when crying is more appropriate, I was giggling. Wtf?? It was definitely a nervous laugh as I looked around at my fellow fliers thinking So these are the clowns I'm going down with? We continued our eternal descent and I was sure my life was about to end. I contemplated getting my phone out and calling my family and friends to say 'It's been real...' but before I could reach for it, I was PUKING. What?! I always get nauseous but I never actually puke!! It caught me so off guard! I didn't even have time to grab the little vomit bag! Nope-- right into the aisle went my breakfast and lame little lunch. Needless to say I was the most popular on that plane by the time we got off. I'll be grateful that I was in an aisle seat and not a window or (shudder) middle seat! Oh, it was just mortifying. And the turbulence was so bad that the flight attendants couldn't do anything about it until we landed and I was forbidden from excusing myself to the little plane bathroom! Seriously?! Was this happening to me?! Of course it was, this is how my life goes. All in a day.

*Despite the less than pleasant plane landing, I had so much fun in Chicago. Much better than I expected, which is always nice. Going back really assured me that I made the right decision in moving to Seattle. Now I just have to convince everyone there that is so much fun to move here with me. Honestly, I can do without the city (the whole thing smells like sewer and bus exhaust!)-- it's the people that I miss. It was so awesome how we just picked up right where we left off-- no awkwardness or weird vibes. I just can't get over how FUN it was, and I am so glad I dropped the money for the plane ticket out there.

*I started coaching here! I missed the first two days of preseason due to the aforementioned Chicago trip (totally worth it). It's a private high school downtown and I'm the assistant coach for the varsity team. I was sick to my stomach the first morning with nerves, and even into the practice... but by the end of the two hours I was loving it! Honestly when I got there I was like I should just leave and email them that I quit... I can't do this. This is so uncomfortable. My social anxieties are more and more annoying lately, but I am glad that I rarely let them prevent me from embracing new opportunities. I have like thirty new names to learn and personalities that go along with them. I'm so excited to be coaching again-- I love it.

*Back to work today after a good stretch of time off. I feel like I work an insane amount, then am off an insane amount. I appreciate the balance, but the extremes are starting to wear me down. Now that summer is coming to an end, I would be content with spreading my shifts out more uniformly over the week rather than packing them all in to try and get as many days off in a row as possible. We'll see. I go back to nights on September 5th which will make me a super pleasant person to be around. But a wise birdy (aka my boss) told me that two day positions are about to be posted. Here's to hoping that one of the two people in front of me for seniority forgets they want days or just doesn't see the opening in time...

A Picture Post

2010-07-25T18:13:00.023-05:00

Summer 2010 has been great!

She moved in for a few weeks and we had so much fun.

I met him. :)

I went hiking to this place (Wallace Falls)-- twice in one week. It is STUNNING.

I went to my first Mariner's game...

with my new roomie!

My sister visited and we had fun! This is epic progress..

I took a spontaneous trip home to see family... including Marco..

and to eat a lot of cherries, let's be serious. Worms shmerms...

We went flying and I came this close to tossing my cookies...

Made a trip to Pacific City-- my favorite place ever.

Oh, he came too. :)

My BFF came up to Seattle for several days and we had lots of fun. I miss her SO MUCH when she's in Europe.

I went kayaking in the Sound during my spontaneous day trip to Orcas Island...

And had so much fun there. It must have been the great company.

:)

It's hard to believe summer is nearly over. I seriously feel like it JUST started. I'm finally kinda tan.. it's been warm for like 4 days in a row..I haven't worn jeans in... a while-- we just achived summer-dome, and we're nearing the end of JULY?! Crazy crazy. I guess I'll just have to squeeze that much more out of August then. Can't wait!

My First Pedicure

2010-07-21T08:56:00.005-05:00

My best friend, Bri, is in the United States, visiting for a month. For the past two years she has been a second grade teacher at an international school in GERMANY, and is eagerly awaiting the start of her third year. She came up to Seattle on Thursday last week and it has been so great getting to visit with her! We've spent so much time with our other good friend from high school who recently moved here. I think it's really awesome how we can just pick up right where we left off. It doesn't matter that we all went to different colleges and mainly talked/visited during winter and summer breaks... it doesn't matter that we haven't lived in close proximity to each other SINCE graduating from high school. I am so grateful for both of them. I haven't had so many belly laughs in a long time.
Yesterday, Bri and I decided to get pedicures. I had been thinking about getting one for a while, as my commitment to wear flip flops after the first sunny day of the year has made me painfully aware of my less than beautiful feet. I have never had a pedicure before. I remember in high school, girls frequently got them, before dances especially. Our soccer coaches always told us not to get them though because they take away your callouses during said pedicure which would inevitably lead to painful blisters the next time you put your cleats on. I've never needed a pedicure... the whole idea does seem kind of ludicrous to me... sitting up on a giant massage chair throne while someone else pours over my feet? Weird.
Walking into the shop yesterday, I was nervous! I don't exactly love it when strangers touch me.. and here I was, preparing to PAY a stranger to touch my FEET of all places. I may or may not be insanely ticklish... but dove in to the experience with almost genuine enthusiasm regardless. I chose my nail polish color-- neon green. Might as well have fun with it, right? 99% of my toenail polish color choices in life have been some shade of red. Lets spice it up. Timidly, I walked to to the chair where my pedicure-ist (???), Ali waited patiently. I sat down and she showed me the massage chair (which I had no idea was there-- it was great!) and put my feet in the scalding hot water. As I sat down and got situated, I noticed Ali eyeing my feet. Then I noticed that she put gloves on-- which is great, I'd totally don gloves if I were touching people's feet all day too! Buuuut then I noticed she was the ONLY pedicure-ist of four that decided gloves were necessary. I know my feet are gross-- thick callouses, unkempt toenails, and cuticles to cry about... but are they so bad that she thought "Damn, better glove up for this one!"??? Maybe I should have pursued the sport of pedicure earlier in life.. She got started, trimming my toenails and doing something to the cuticles. They have so many tools! I was doing well with the tickle factor for a while; I was quite impressed with myself. I noticed the woman sitting next to me (not Bri) who had arrived a little earlier than we had. They were doing something to her feet that involved what I want to say was a pumice stone.. they took it and rubbed it all over the bottom of her feet. Ohhh snap, if they do that to me I will die. Maybe she's getting a different kind of pedicure, and they won't do that to me.. That theory was thwarted and my anxiety grew as I saw them start doing it to Bri's feet. Maybe minutes later I saw Ali whip out the pumice thing. Gulp. I tried to look away. I tried deep breathing. I tried to go to my calm/happy place. Nothing. The second she rubbed that thing on the bottom of my foot, my whole body lurched and I was sent into fits of giggles and laughter. I twisted and squirmed and tried (failed miserably) to contain myself. White knuckled, I gripped the chair in sincere efforts to not KICK poor Ali in the FACE. She kept going despite my thrashing... heads turned in the salon-- Who the hell gets a pedicure when they're so ticklish?! After what seemed like hours, but in reality was a few short minutes, Ali looked up at me and said in her awesome accent "Ticklish?" I told her that yes indeed I was, and apologized profusely. She continued to scrub down the callouses I have worked so hard to build... then she moved to the next foot. That whole scene... all over again. Tickling is crazy to me. It is like a form of torture, but instead of crying, you are laughing. It is such a weird place because you're like.. happy, you're laughing uncontrollably, but you will do anything to make the tickling stop. Including kicking your pedicure-ist in the face. Don't worry, I didn't kick Ali, but still. I was filled with relief when she was done with that part. On the second foot she asked "Ticklish?" again. I thought YES LADY I AM TICKLISH! I AM ALSO CONTENT WITH MY CALLOUSES. LET'S MOVE ON. But all I could spit out was an awkward head not and a snort as she went to town on the bottom of my foot.
The other shocking part of a pedicure is that they like massage your legs. Again, touch from strangers is something I discourage enthusiastically. So when Ali started rubbing stuff on my pudgy lower legs, my eyes bugged out and the air shot out of my lungs. What in tarnation was she doing?! I wanted my toe nails tended to and painted-- that's it! Here she goes exfoliating, massaging, lotioning... I shudder at the thought. AND I hadn't shaved my legs in a day or two, so I'm sure she was cringing as she rubbed my legs.. shoot her hands were probably bleeding. Mortifying.
She finally painted my toes. The green looks less cool than I thought it would, but it's still something new and fun and something I wouldn't have done on my own. Bri and I sat with our toes drying for a good half hour and were on our way. A pedicure is insanely expensive.. the cheapest we found was this place that charged $27 bones. If you think about it, it's a great business for them, but to me it seems asinine to pay someone for torture and toe polish. And of course there's a spot on the receipt for a tip. Don't get me started on tipping. (Don't get me wrong either-- I tip and I think I am a generous tipper-- the IDEA of tipping really irritates me). Despite the price, it was a fun activity with my best friend who is here for such a short time. And even though my toenails are alien green, I feel less ashamed showing my feet in public now. I can't say that I'll be getting another pedicure soon (..or ever..) but, this one was fun, quite the experience.

Good Things

2010-07-16T10:34:00.001-05:00

...that's all.. just good things. Really good things. :)

Nothing Exciting

2010-07-10T18:53:00.003-05:00

I can hardly believe it is already the middle of July. Where in the world has time gone?! Maybe it's because summer weather JUST arrived. And it arrived in quite a dramatic fashion, jumping from 50 degrees to high 90s. I refuse to complain about warm weather, but as much as I dislike extreme cold, extreme heat isn't so much my favorite either. I am learning that I have a Goldie Locks Complex-- not too hot, not too cold..
Regardless of the weather on the 4th of July (rainy and in the 50s), it was by far my favorite Independence Day... ever. Last year for the 4th I was in Chicago and it was nice weather- by the time it was dark, I'd say it was in the high 70s and not super humid so some friends and I went to the top of a parking garage and since it's SO FLAT in the Midwest, we watched fireworks
all around the city from the high view point. It was pretty awesome. This year, we went to a small neighborhood park that overlooks Gasworks Park where the whole city of Seattle seems to flock to watch the fireworks set off over Lake Union (?? or some body of water... there are so many!). They were beautiful and the park was the perfect spot to watch from. I was scheduled to work that night, but signed up for a no-pay, so I ended up getting to be on call for the first 4 hours of my shift, then had to go in at 11pm. While I wish I could have just been off all together, it was SO GREAT to be able to watch fireworks and enjoy the end of the holiday. Totally worth missing the 4 hours of holiday pay.
I've been so eagerly awaiting summer for the past.. seven months, now it's here I almost don't know what to do with myself. I've been working a ton lately.. it seems like all the mandatory education and competency days happen in the summer, and during my several-days-in-a-row OFF stretches. Oh well. Nights are still killing me, but I am sincerely working on my attitude. I didn't get the most recent day position posted, and I was pretty devastated, I won't lie. I may have shed a tear or two over that one.. I was SURE I'd get it! However, my manager informed me (at 6:57am.. after working all night) that I was third in line for the next available day spot. At the time, I was holding and feeding a week old baby for one of my co-workers.. and it was good that I was, otherwise I would have lost my marbles! It took every ounce of my strength and some divine intervention to not have a meltdown right there at the nurses station! Obviously Someone still wants me on nights, so I might as well make the best of it until I can get on days. I just hope the days part happens soon.
I've been sick for the past few days. I'm at the lose-your-voice stage right now... it's really attractive sounding like a trach'd smoker.
Hmm in other news.. I am a soccer coach! A good friend clued me in on an open position to be an assistant coach for a high school varsity women's team. I applied, interviewed and got it! I'm so excited.. it starts in August and I can't wait to have a structured activity again! I'm glad it will be for an assistant coach so I can get my bearings a little bit and not go into high panic if my work schedule conflicts once in a while. Can't wait! AND-- they gave me a jacket, a hoodie, and a long sleeved thermal!
I am looking forward to my trip to Chicago at the end of August for the Alumni game at North Park. We'd better win... haha. It will be so good to see my friends in that city.. both from North Park and my old job. I miss them all quite a bit! While the social scene has picked up quite a bit here in the past month or so, I still remember my Windy City friends fondly and it will be great reuniting.
My apartment has taken a hit from me not being here and then from me being too sick to clean anything.. so I'm off to try and organize the mess... hahaha I love living alone.

gRaTeFuL

2010-07-01T19:14:00.003-05:00

Things I Have Been Grateful for This Week:

*Sunflowers.
*Genuinely kind, funny, and compassionate coworkers.
*New friends and old friends having a great time in a new city that involved several belly laughs.
*Sun-- even if there is still a chill in the air, it's been sunny.
*Running farther this week than I have in a while.

I am ridiculously blessed and continually surprised at how much I find to gripe about. I've got it pretty good...really good... despite the few things I wish were different. They pale (to the point of translucence) in comparison to the plights of others.

"It's taken care of."

2010-06-25T14:39:00.003-05:00

On call shifts are #2 on my list of things I seriously dislike, second only to night shift. I got called in on my call shift last night... only to FLOAT to another floor. It took all of my strength and energy (which was very little considering the time of day-- 11pm) to prevent myself from bursting into tears. My distraught-ness was potentiated by the knowledge that I have to work the next three nights in a row anyway. So, this is my first four in a row on nights stretch, and I'm pretty sure that it will be what kills me. =(

They did just post a day position and I cannot even come close to articulating how essential to my sanity getting that spot is. I am losing my marbles-- they're all pretty much gone.. and this is just the START of my second week on nights.

(I genuinely love my job. And I am genuinely grateful for employment-- especially doing a job that fascinates me and challenges me and is something I feel good and excited about doing. I am very very very fortunate in that realm, and I fully recognize it).

My sister came up last weekend to visit. We had a grand old time. Actually far better than I expected. Saturday night we decided to go out to dinner to a fondue restaurant in Bellevue. She drove up that day and I had slept half the day after working Friday night, so we were both looking slightly scrubby. We went anyway with a 'who cares' attitude. We were smart enough to call and see what the parking situation would be like, but failed to think about making a reservation. It didn't cross my mind as I don't go to places where you need a reservation.. too hoity toity for me and chances are I can't afford it. So we hoof'd it over to Bellevue, and after a lap or two around the block, finally found the mysterious parking garage that had maybe 14 parking spots. Lame! But after circling the place several times, found a spot.
So we walk into the restaurant and we were both really hungry. Nicole walked in first and the host asked "What can I help you with?" This perplexed us. Usually they ask 'How many in your party?' Nicole later put it best: "What do you mean 'what can I help you with?' You can show me my table!" But instead of speaking she just looked at him awkwardly. So I walk in right behind her and without a second thought I say "Two please," and just in case he was hard of hearing or completely inept, I held up two fingers to really drive the point home. "Do you have a reservation?" he inquired. "...Nooope." He sighed and said that it would be a 30 to 45 minute wait. I was too hungry to search for another restaurant (and we brought a coupon for this place!) so we decided to wait it out in the bar.
We shuffled over to the overflow bar area where the bar tender informed us (kindly, not mean) that reservations are a good idea when one dines at this establishment. We were apparently lucky since it was Father's Day weekend, they were a little slow and we only had to wait 30-45 minutes. We shrugged our shoulders and he talked us into an appetizer which neither of us normally orders, but we were so hungry we decided to go for it. It was really good actually-- pesto and brie cheese and they brought crackers, grapes, apples and ...something else to spread it on. I was hesitant but it was delicious. 45 minutes later our table was ready and we cashed out at the bar-- Nicole threw her plastic down before I could, and so I said "okay, I'll pay for dinner then." I hate asking them to split the check. We hoof'd to our table and embraced the menu that offered POTS of melted cheese... and goodies to dunk in it. Seriously, whoever came up with fondue is a genius and should be publicly recognized as so.
This is where it gets ridiculous.
Our waiter (name NOT known.. young looking ..21 or 22 we decided, but cute) came when we were done looking at the menu. I (for no reason) had my menu open to the ridiculously long wine list (it was seriously like four pages of the menu) because we'd been commenting on how insanely expensive the wine was. So Waiter comes up and asks "Would you like a bottle of wine?" I said "..nope," and he gestured to the fact that it was open and I laughed shut it immediately. Then Nicole told him how it was too expensive for us. Classy. He crouched down and was super chatty in the I want a good tip so I'm going to try to befriend you in three minutes way.
Waiter: "What are you ladies up to tonight?"
Me: "She's in town visiting..."
Waiter: "No way, where from?"
Nicole: "Salem, Oregon..."
Waiter: "No way, I grew up in Klamath (?) and went to school at OSU!"
Us: "Awesome."
Waiter: "What else are you going to do tonight?"
-Nicole and I looked at each other and shrugged
Me: "...this is kinda it... I have a coupon!" THROWS coupon in his direction
Waiter: "WHAAAT? You're not taking her out on the town?"
Me: "...um... well... I'm still kinda newer to the area, I don't really know what to show her. Where do you think I should take her?"
Waiter: "oooh hmm.. there's a bowling alley in Capitol Hill that's really cool... wait-- you guys are 21 right???"
Us: fits of laughter
Nicole: "Oh, bless your little heart... yes we're over 21."
Waiter: "That's a cool place, I'm newer to the area, too so I'm trying to think of places.. there are a ton of bars that are good.."
Nicole: eye roll in my direction to which waiter picks up on and gives a confused look
Me: "... yea, the bar scene isn't really my favorite."
Waiter: "oh, do you drink at ALL?"
Me: "I don't NOT drink."
Waiter: "hmmm I'm trying to think of places. I'm not a big drinker, either..."
HE FINALLY DECIDED TO TAKE OUR ORDER

Not long after our melted cheese and delicious dippers (minus the moldy apple) came out and he put on a little show of mixing and melting the queso. He checked in frequently to make sure our dining experience was nothing short of delightful. The coupon I'd brought (brought'n.. hahahaha) was for a free dessert, so he knew to bring the dessert menu. We quickly decided and he brought it out within a few minutes. As he laid out all the insanely delicious things to dip in warm silky milk chocolate, he said "Enjoy, ladies. And it's all taken care of. The cheese, the chocolate.. it's taken care of." And he tossed the coupon back in my direction. Nicole and I were in a cheese coma and getting ready to embrace chocolate euphoria on top of it, so we were just like "Okay thanks..." But like two seconds after he walked away our brows simultaneously furrowed. "It's taken care of?" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!
We spent the next ... twenty minutes trying to figure out what he was talking about as we embraced the chocolate-y goodness.

"Nicole, you need to CLARIFY what he means!" I hissed. She of course refused to do anything so logical. She insisted that means that we didn't have to pay for our meal and I was so confused as to WHY. (still am). We weren't heinous looking, but we weren't drop-dead-give-them-their-meal-free-gorgeous either.. what on EARTH made someone give us a free meal? Maybe between complaining about the pricey wine and chucking my coupon at him, Waiter decided to do his good deed for the day... I just don't know! So we were in quite the quirky mood by this point-- I'm pretty sure they spiked the chocolate, we couldn't stop giggling. It was SO MUCH FUN-- my sister and I fight far too much, and it was insanely refreshing to laugh with her for a whole night.

As we finished the chocolate fondue-- no dipper left behind, Waiter brings out slightly smaller pots of the dark chocolate and white chocolate fondue with extra dippers. Our eyes got huge as he said "And I brought you some extra goodies too!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry-- I was SO FULL. But what sensible woman says "No thank you" to a pot full of chocolate with strawberries begging to be dunked?! So we went at it. We still didn't know what to do about "It's taken care of." Waiter kept checking in more and more frequently to see what he could get us.

As we lost steam on the second round of dessert, he came by and asked how it was blah blah blah and reiterated: "And it's alllllllllllll taken care of, you guys are set." I said "...really?" And he said "Yes, absolutely. It's taken care of." So we gave due thanks and he walked away. PERPLEXED. NAUSEOUS. STUPID HAPPY. So my genius sister convinced me (I blame drunkeness by chocolate) to leave my phone number for our generous Waiter and we left him a hefty tip. Shoot, if we were getting out of what would have been a very pricey meal, the least we could do was tip appropriately. I figured one of three things could happen:
1) Nothing at all.
2) He would call or text me and there are worse thing in the world than attractive young men calling me.
3) We totally misinterpreted what "It's taken care of" means, we walked away without paying AND they had my phone number to give to the police.

My new motto is 'without risk there's no reward,' so I made Nicole be the lookout as I scribbled my digits on a scrap piece of paper (he NEVER brought us a check!) and as I laid it on the table I insisted we leave IMMEDIATELY. The only thing more embarrassing than leaving your phone number in a public place is being caught by whoever you're leaving it for. So we scampered out like school children and burst into laughter as soon as we got out the door. We waddled to the car, decided to go bowling on a different day and made it back to my apartment without tossing our delicious fondue cookies.

It was a fun weekend and I'm glad she came up. No word from Waiter yet, but no word from the police, either. Fine by me.

2010-06-18T20:06:00.002-05:00

SERIOUSLY: case in point.

Blinking Bug Bites

2010-06-17T18:07:00.004-05:00

**EDIT** Shout out to David-- who introduced me to Hyperbole and a Half. I swear this person is me. When reading her posts I think "omg-- that's ME." it's uncanny.. check it out.

It is a shame that posting work-related stories on here is frowned upon.
Night shift and my ability to cope with it inevitably create situations that to the outside audience would undoubtedly be humorous.

That's all I have to say about that. Well, actually not-- I have a lot more, but will bite my tongue (...fingers...?)

I will say this:

-I have 24 bug bites. "What in the world from?" you might ask. From playing a riveting game of disc golf (aka Frisbee golf, frolf, etc). Last Sunday it was so nice out, so a friend and some friends of a friend went down by SeaTac to an 18 basket disc golf course. (Confession: I had no idea such courses existed). It took SEVERAL (read: more than five) hours to complete the course due to me not knowing how to efficiently or effectively throw a disc (don't dare call it a Frisbee..) to save my life. I was grateful for the other disc golf newbie who at the beginning shared the burden of 'that girl' who is really bad. But alas, it was her second time playing and she started to catch on about 6 baskets in. For the remaining twelve, I was the reason that each basket took a RIDICULOUS amount of time. My fellow disc golfers were pretty nice about it, though.. offering tips or showing me different ways to throw. For the record, before agreeing to go I said "I'm a kicker, not a thrower. I don't want to be a wet blanket, I've NEVER played before, and you guys are super good.." But the invitation to play stood, and I had no other plans for the sunny Sunday. So while I felt bad, I gave fair warning to at least one person in the party. ANYWAY-- those bug bites itch with FURY. Also, they blink like Christmas lights. They go from pink to white to pink to white to pink to white with my pulse. It's quite a freak show let me tell you. I am grateful that the majority of them are on my legs where my scrubs cover them for work. Wouldn't that be the treat-- the night shift nurse with blinking bug bites slinking into your room at 4am to take your vital signs. Geez louise.

-One of my good friends from high school is currently staying with me while she looks for an apartment in Seattle. She's moving here and it is SO EXCITING. I have really enjoyed having her company around and am genuinely looking forward to having an old friend here!

-I feel like I have more to say but that will have to be all for now. I need to try to squeeze a run in (no matter how half hearted it may be) before working tonight. ...night-shift is a swear word to me. But you all know how I feel about it so I will withhold my ranting for the time being.

Night Shift Blues

2010-06-12T06:04:00.003-05:00

I am getting ready for my last day shift for six weeks. It is a tragic tragic tragic time.

I would rather have gloomy weather forever than work night shift.
I would rather eat this skin off a raw onion every day for breakfast than work night shift.
I would rather clip the toenails of a 90 year old man with a gnarly foot fungus than work night shift.
I would rather shave my head and eat all my hair than work night shift.

..Give me straight days or give me death.

I like interacting with my patients and their families. While the challenge of being a 'silent ninja' is slightly entertaining for a while, it is not enough to make night shift worth it. Yea, there are fun coworkers on night shift, but I am too beside myself due to the time of day to enjoy any of them. It is far from ideal.

Needless to say I haven't gotten any of the day shift positions I've applied for. It has been a great run on days. I made two patients my primaries and I love 'em. And I've learned SO MUCH on days-- it's crazy. Being involved in rounds makes a world of difference. Waaah, I'm really going to miss the chaos.

Please knock

2010-06-07T17:03:00.003-05:00

My gym. Ugh.

I frequent an express version of my gym. Meaning it has less equipment and classes, no locker rooms and that, despite its name, it isn't actually open 24 hours a day. I am not sure how much longer I can grin and bear it. But, I don't know what other options are practical, especially in the financial department.
So this morning I went to the gym. I went to use the restroom before I got going (a last ditch procrastination effort...). There are four individual bathrooms in one hallway. I appreciate the individual part-- I've never been a fan of stalls. The doors have locks on them which is really good because instead of knocking on a closed door, people just wail on the handle and jiggle it furiously until they piece together that that particular bathroom is occupied.
I have a nervous bladder. If I know someone can hear me pee, I freeze up no matter how badly I have to go. This condition has taken on a new twist while at the gym. I am so terrified of two situations:
1) I forget to lock the door
2) The handle breaks (which judging by how aggressively some patrons open doors is bound to happen sooner than later).
So now, even though no one can hear me go, I get stage fright. I know that the second I let loose, some meat head is going to come barging through the door and see me in my half naked squatting glory (I'm a hover-er in public places... especially the gym, they're bad at cleaning). The anxiety of using the bathrooms at this place is enough to give one's heart a cardio workout without boarding a treadmill or bouncing along on an elliptical.
What happened to good old fashioned knocking?! This is how I approach the bathrooms:
1) Soft knock
2) If no answer, try the handle; if answer, move on.
It's really one of the simplest two step processes EVER. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.

Youth on Age

2010-05-27T12:47:00.009-05:00

Hiking. It is something I have been longing to do for the past ...six ish years. As soon as I left the west (best) coast after high school, I came to appreciate the nature it holds, and started hating myself for not taking advantage of it for the 18 years I lived here before venturing off into the flat wasteland known as the Midwest.
A couple of weeks ago the weather was actually awesome. I googled 'free seattle hikes' and found the Issaquah Alps Trail Club. I saw "free guided hikes" and was floored-- I would love to go for a hike by myself, but I don't know any trails and I refuse to be that clown on the news who is lost for 12 days after hiking in a new place all alone. The fact that these people would guide me on a hike-- for FREE-- was very exciting.

I roped in a friend (pictured above) from college who was in Seattle, home on summer break before heading to Alaska for the summer. I packed all the things the website said were required-- even though it was mid 70s without a cloud in the sky, I put a garbage bag in my pack to act as 'rain gear.' I was so nervous they would say "you can't go" if I didn't have everything on the list. The hike we chose was described as follows: "Echo Mountain- interesting plants and views of Mt. Rainier, 5 miles, 600' gain." It was estimated to take 4 hours and have 'some climbing/difficulty.' So I was slightly nervous-- What if I'm too out of shape? What if I hold the group back? I don't want to be that kid. I resolved to try it anyway and hope at least one person was in worse shape than me. After much planning and packing, I went to bed the night before with three alarms set, so as to not oversleep.
I picked up my friend on the way, and then we got there more than an hour early. I have a serious getting-there-early problem. We found a Starbucks to pass the time-- all the while my anxiety grew. People in Seattle are kinda serious about their hiking. I've only met the kind that climb real mountains-- with ice picks and stuff. They're the crazy people who have to train for their climbs because the climbs are so insane. They're the unfortunate ones who fall in the ice crevasses and survive for days drinking their own urine and chewing the buttons of their coat. Who am I to be hiking with them? I'm just a pudgy girl escaping from the Midwest, they're going to laugh me back to Chicago. WHAT AM I THINKING?!?!? Had I been alone, I probably would have gone home and wallowed in self pity-- but I wasn't. I dragged my friend out of bed at an ungodly hour, so I had to follow through. So we left Starbucks (early of course) and arrived at the 'club house.' We got out of the car and waited. We were the first ones there. I was nervous that we were at the wrong spot or that we missed the group (which was impossible, we were still like ten minutes early). We saw another lady looking at a sign by the building and I asked her if she was there for the hike. She said yes, and I was relieved that we were in the right spot. Then I really saw her. She was in her 50s (ish?), wearing long pants-- normal pants... like khaki pants... had a heavier coat on with big boots, a hat and sunglasses. My friend and I were in shorts and at-shirts with running shoes. Hmm, she must be in good shape to go on this hike at her age. More people started trickling in and an overwhelming theme emerged: old. Everybody there was a grandparent. WHAT? This is a senior citizen event! Truthfully, I was relieved.. if these people could handle this hike, then surely I could too! I'd better be able to. An older gentleman who was somewhat in charge came and told my friend and I that our shoes would be okay for this hike, but if we planned to do more hikes with them in the future, we needed hiking boots due to the slippery nature of the trails. I suppose its a valid point, but I couldn't help thinking if these arthritic clowns can handle the slippery trails, I think I'll be fine in my running shoes thank you very much. So we congregated when Betty (pictured below), our leader (age... 70? I'm not kidding) arrived. She gave some shotty directions to the trail head (which, btw, I still don't understand why we didn't just meet there... as it was like a 30 minute drive from the clubhouse..) So we get there and Betty starts talking. She starts talking a little bit about the area. I am surprised at how knowledgeable she is about the hike and how involved she is in the preservation efforts and what not. Totally a sharp 70 year old lady-- and I can only hope that I am that spry when I age. She warns us to stay together as people have gotten lost before, but "Paul finally made it home..." What?! I had visions of some poor elderly man wandering through the forest for days on end and then finally emerging out of the forest back at the trail head only to see that his group had deserted him and he had to walk all the way home. It was so hard to contain my fits of laughter. Everything anybody said that had any potential of being comical was a MILLION TIMES funnier (is that a word?) because they were so... aged. Don't get me wrong-- I have a ton of respect for the elderly in our society and think they are very wise and have a lot to offer to younger generations. Hooray for elderly! And-- my friend and I stuck out like sore thumbs-- we looked like we were headed to the gym, while everyone else was in pretty normal clothing-- button up shirts and 'slacks,' and ...fanny packs (not that those are normal on ANY level).
Betty also announced that this was a "flower hike." A what??? Apparently we would be stopping to identify different flowers and plants along the way, and not to worry, Betty had her book so we could look up the ones we weren't sure about. A flower hike? What did I get myself into?! I exchanged looks of 'wtf' with my friend and we started hiking. Several of our hike mates whipped out their ski poles to help them along the rugged terrain. We stopped every 7th step or so to identify a new (or the same) flower. The first we saw was Youth on Age (pictured below).

(*Youth on Age)*
How ironic. How fitting for the dynamic of this group. I glanced up to the Heavens and shot a "Really?" prayer up to the Big Guy. So we continued on. Every third flower we saw was Youth on Age. "Oh there's some Youth on Age!" Betty would bellow and it'd pass along the line of hikers.
I was in a state of shock at the whole situation. I'd invested so much energy in being a nervous nellie for this hike. I was convinced I wouldn't make it and would have to borrow someone's inhaler.. or call for a rescue ranger to come escort me down the mountain when I couldn't keep up with the group. But here I was, looking at flowers with other people's grandparents.. and probably great grandparents. I was just ... flabbergasted. How did I not see this coming? But I couldn't have seen it-- that's what happens when you embrace activities you find on Google. It was all I could do to not die laughing the whole way up. Of course I'd land myself in a senior citizen hike-- it's only natural. I really had to keep my sarcasm in check though-- so many doors were flinging open all around me, begging for a wisecrack, but I was sure my comments wouldn't be appreciated. That was probably the hardest part. *(Stopping-- again-- to look at flowers) *
So in about... two hours we made it up the roughly 2 mile 'mountain.' It was beautiful-- I love nature. Trees-- lots of flowers-- sun... it was awesome. I couldn't help but think "this would be awesome to run up," and then I remembered that I can't run to save my life. We made it to the top and had a beautiful view of Mt. Rainier. We stayed up there for about 20 minutes and everyone ate their lunch. My friend and I released all the funny comments we'd been holding back on the way up and prepared for the way down. *(If you look real hard you can see Mt. Rainier...)*
This was the complete opposite of a bad day-- just so unexpected! It was gorgeous weather and the other hikers were very friendly. I met a running enthusiast and we bonded over our knee pain! Ha!
At one point someone asked my friend and me if we had the day off of school and I was like "..no I have the day off of work," and naturally they asked what I do. I hate revealing that I am a nurse in any group environment because I feel like if some medical emergency were to happen, it'd fall on me to fix it. Sure there's the oath I took that already obligates me to do so, but still I hate announcing it. NOT TO MENTION I was hiking with people who are at a prime age for medical issues to explode. Fortunately we made it down the hill without any medical event. However-- they started EATING THE PLANTS! "If it's the one I'm thinking, it should taste like black licorice," Betty rattled. I watched in horror as person after person chomped down on the strange plant trying to figure out what I'd have to tell the 9-1-1 dispatcher when they all were doubled over with abdominal pain unable to hike to their cars to seek medical attention themselves. One guy even ate a mushroom. I figure he was suicidal. * (My new runner friend. I tried to get out of him if he had any grandsons-- no dice.)*

All in all, a great day outside in nature. But also a day that caught me TOTALLY off guard. We finally made it back to our car and I was ready to peel outta there. As I put my car in reverse Betty popped up at my window to make sure we knew how to get back. She scared the living daylights outta me! Seriously-- what a day. "Oh look! Youth on Age!"

ROTFL

2010-05-24T19:49:00.003-05:00

*Eleven days after my decision to embrace prolonged sun exposure without skin protection, I am still peeling. I sat outside on a Thursday, and worked Saturday-Monday. Babies don't care that you're sunburnt-- they'll grab you and scratch you and give you baby lovin' no matter how bad it hurts. Lesson learned? ... let's be honest-- probably not.

*Ridiculous things continue to happen to me, and I am convinced that God's throne is empty because he is rolling on the heavenly floor laughing at me.

*I applied for a straight days position and was not senior enough to get it. I noticed another straight days position open that is different-- I'd float between my current floor and the other surgical unit floor. I hesitated for about twenty minutes then decided to apply anyway. I like my floor and am not overly enthusiastic about things on the other floor, but I will do close to anything to not have to work nights.

*My foot hurts.

*It has been a year and a half since I've had a haircut, and the only reason it happened then is because I chopped off 12 inches to donate therefore it was free. I am mortified at how much it costs to get a decent haircut nowadays-- not to mention that a tip is expected. I have issues with the great-clips, super-cuts places. They ruined me in middleschool. Looks like I will be getting haircuts bi-annually as that's how long it takes this mop to grow long enough to donate.

*Coming up on the six month mark of when I moved here has caused me to be somewhat reflective. I made this as I thought about what's gone down over the past half a year.

Freak Lobster

2010-05-13T15:50:00.007-05:00

I love the sun. I love everything about it. I love feeling warm from it, I love how it makes colors brighter and people happier. I cannot get enough of it. I also love how it makes my skin tanner. Vain? Very. I'm over it. However, to achieve the tan-ness that I long for during winter months, some trial and error is usually required. Today was a major error.
Since starting day shift last week, I have so much more energy during the day and fall asleep at much more appropriate times at night (not in the wee hours of the morning). Today it is 72 degrees outside without a single cloud in the sky. I knew this miracle was coming, thanks to weather.com. I woke up early this morning to get to the gym and then came home, put a tank top and flip flops on and walked to the Starbucks that is approximately a quarter of a mile from my apartment. I used a gift card to get an iced green tea then took up residence at one of their outdoor tables. I brought two books (in case one bored me). I started reading and stayed there for four hours. HA! Ironically, I am really not a fan of reading. I could feel my skin soaking up the glorious UV rays. I could see the little shadows of heat waves rising behind me. And I loved it. Every second. I masochistically welcomed the almost burning sensation on my arms and legs. BRING ON THE SUN. It has been a long winter of pasty paleness and I am soo ready to give that up. So I sat and took a good chunk out of a book I've been trying to get into for awhile, did some serious eaves dropping and peopel watching (two of my new favorite activities..). Before I knew it it was four hours later. I moved my arm and my watch slid down my wrist. I then noticed the BRIGHT WHITE skin that was under my watch and how it contrasted with the skin around it. Uhoh. I wanted to ignore it so I finished the chapter and then decided I should probably put an end to the charade. I walked home in a warm and peaceful state of euphoria. I love the sun. It warms my soul. It's like a hug without anyone having to touch you hahahaha. I walked into my apartment still feeling tranquil-- first stop the bathroom-- four hours and a caffeinated beverage will take their toll. I glanced at the mirror and my zen was rudely interrupted by alarm. RED. Not a pink rosy glow, BRIGHT RED. But not everywhere-- my neck remains amazingly white, apparently I put my head down while reading?! WTF. I pulled my tank top to the side to reveal a THICK white strip of skin. I hate the sun. It's turned me into a freak lobster. My skin is going to fall off. I will be outcast like a leper! My panic increased when I realized that it's going to get worse before it gets better. If I'm this red now, give it six hours and the blisters will appear probably accompanied by eschar tissue and I'll have to go to the ER for amputations. Then I'll lose my job because who wants the 6 fingered nurse whose skin is falling off?! ... So.. I'm on my way to the store to get some aloe-- a fat lot of good that stuff does, but better than nothing I suppose. And I think I might invest in sunscreen. I've always hated the stuff-- quite a lot actually. It's greasy and it maintains my pasty pigment. There's gotta be some compromise between the lobster leper and the pale translucence I've displayed all winter. We'll see. For now I will be dealing with this:

Kujo

2010-05-10T14:46:00.003-05:00

Running. It's essentially a swear word to me.
Regardless, I forced myself out on the country roads when I went home this weekend for a surprise mothers day visit. I dilly dallied Sunday morning and waited for prime tanning time (which I've declared to be between 11am and 2pm). So I waddled down my driveway onto the little dead end street which apparently is a hill. I was trying to decide between the three mile loop and the almost five mile loop. A-top the 'hill' I thought "uhh three mile loop-- duh." However, to get to both loops you go down a SUPER steep hill. By the bottom I was like "oh... I'm okay, I can do the almost-five." Wrong sauce. The hills are ridiculous. Regardless of the route, there are hills everywhere and they are so steep and so long. I am not one to swear like a sailor but I find myself cursing each hill the ENTIRE time it takes me to shuffle up it and even for a while after. So here I go on this just about five mile loop-- once atop the first hill I seriously considered turning back. Then I realized that I'd hate myself if I did, so I pushed on. How dramatic am I-- it's not like I was a pioneer on the Oregon Trail that just lost an oxen to the harsh weather conditions while I wasted away from Dysentery.. but it kinda felt like it... I turned to a gravel road which is my favorite part of that run because it's at a super slight downhill for most of it.. So there I am trotting along like an escapee from fat camp, rocking out to some angsty Kelly Clarkson... and all of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see a LARGE dog LUNGING AT ME. Only after I saw it did I hear it barking viciously. Funny, I thought. This dog has no leash... this dog has no owner apologizing frantically for the its ferocious antics... NOT FUNNY. Panicked, I pushed its nose away and breathlessly said "Hi Puppy..." and booked it down the road. You're lame, self-- you couldn't out run this dog to save your life. Surrender now. Fortunately I gave that little self depreciating voice the mental middle finger and kept going until I couldn't hear Kujo barking anymore. So I escaped without rabies, but it scared the living day lights out of me! The rest of the run was terrible, as the adrenaline quickly stopped flowing and I still had a sickly huge hill to climb. I would be lying if I denied a walk break or two.
When I woke up before dawn this morning to get back to Seattle before my call shift (I caved on calling in.. such a wuss), I could barely get out of bed-- not due to exhaustion and the wee hour of the morning-- due to ridiculously sore legs. It's sad really. There was a time that I'd rejoice in the lactic acid and think "awesome that means I'm working hard," but now I think "EFF that hurts!" I have no intention of doing that loop again in the near future to get better at it.. I have little intention of running outside really. So it seems all for naught. HOW DO I GET OUTTA THIS FUNK!? Seriously, it seems way more mental than anything and you'd think that would be the easiest to fix because it's your mind, you have complete control-- but let me tell you it is far from easy. Don't get me wrong, my lack of cardiovascular endurance and muscle strength is no help either.. but seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I'm soo irritated.

Holy Day Shift

2010-05-08T00:10:00.003-05:00

Yowzer. I knew it was coming... but my awareness did not soften the blow of day shift. Jeepers creepers it is literally twelve PLUS hours of GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO.
My first DAY SHIFT (off orientation) on a weekday (not a lot happens on weekends.. it would have been more ideal to have a first DAY on a weekend, but nay-- I got a Wednesday), I got a four patient assignment. Excuse me? Did I read that right-- YES. FOUR patients. FOUR BUSY BUSY BUSY patients. Less than ideal. Thursday and Friday I got 3 kids-- far more appropriate but was still running around like a crazy person and clocked some significant overtime. Whoops. If the overtime was my fault, I'd feel bad-- but it wasn't... so I don't.
BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO GENUINELY WELCOME THE CHAOS because it means I am on days and that means my sleep schedule will be so much more regular. Praise the LORD. I make sure to NEVER complain about how busy it is on days and try (but sometimes (read: frequently) fail) to always appear cheery.
AND-- I found pharmacy allll by myself-- the secret agent way, too, where oyu have to have a staff ID badge to get through several double doors.... Things are looking up.

Practice

2010-05-02T17:09:00.004-05:00

Ooooh my goodness, last night work was ridiculously busy! Supposedly, it's a bad idea to write specifically about work events on blogs, facebook, etc. because if anything legal ever goes down such postings can and will be used against you... (I guess someone's facebook status was used once... I don't know, it's part of my paranoia) --BUT-- believe it or not I embraced the PURE chaos with an almost 100% genuine smile as it was good practice for my upcoming day shift debut. Mayhem and obstacles and craziness all await me Wednesday morning at 7:00am. It's about darn time.

--AND-- I got to x-ray without having to ask someone to remind me how to get there. This, my friends is huge. My place of employment is quite the maze-- especially for the clown that fainted during the orientation tour. PAH. Next up, pharmacy.

2010-04-29T18:14:00.002-05:00

*From Postsecret

It is things like this that make me hate running on the treadmill at the gym. Nay-- makes me hate being out of shape and running on the treadmill at the gym. I definitely had this mindset at one point. Karma is a bear.

the bowels of hell

2010-04-27T23:08:00.003-05:00

The bowels of hell continue to rumble with fury beneath me. I sometimes day dream about clipping the wires to their stereo system... throwing a rock through their window... taping a copy of the noise rule (in all tenants' leases) to their door... Despite all my griping, I realize how fortunate I am that this is one of the bigger things troubling me.

Well....

2010-04-25T22:13:00.004-05:00

Not even 24 hours after writing that I am probably bowing out of any races this season, I start thinking "Well...." UGH.
When I was in Chicago last spring/summer, I trained with a coworker most of the time. She's now a hot shot member of a triathlon gym and preparing for TWO half ironmans this summer. She's already done an 8k and a half marathon and apparently this weekend her training added up to two miles short of a half ironman. And I'm on the elliptical. I feel like such a loooser. So then I start looking for ANYTHING to pull me out of this deep rut I'm stuck in. I come across race calendars and training tips, all things that would occupy me for hours on end last year, but now they give me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and fuel my pity party.
Then I came across this. Last year I would have declined the notion of a women's training group because a lot of women are pansies (a lot are hardcore GI Janes, but a lot more are pansies). But now I'm kind of like, I have to do whatever I can to get back at it. And truth be told, I'd fit right in with pansies. So I sent an inquiring email. There is a bike training they're doing May 11th that I (think?) I would like to go to. Even considering it about it makes me nervous and kind of nauseous actually. I haven't ridden ole Speedy since... August or September... the tires are FLAT and I don't have a tire pump. I can only imagine the fool I'll make of myself re-learning the clipping pedals and donning bike shorts. Ugh maybe it's a bad idea. But I can't deny the whispering voice that says maybe it's exactly what I need.

... so we'll see, I guess. =/

(and in the short time it took to scribe this, I already got a response to the email... will someone come with me?!?!)

Sugar Fairy & Crazy Eyes Chaos with a Fish Stench Issue

2010-04-25T03:40:00.004-05:00

-For the past few weeks I have made a very conscious and diligent effort to avoid refined sugar due to extreme fear that I have or will soon have the 'betes (Diabetes). This is SO hard for me-- I am addicted to the sweet stuff. While I've failed more than I care to admit, I have done better than I thought I would, and I notice that I feel better too. Less mood swings and stuff. I'm still tired all the time, but that's to be expected when my sleep schedule is so effed up. I have less cravings than I used to, but they're not gone.. and MAN are they powerful! Another reason that I should never be preggers-- I can't handle cravings! I have also discovered avocados and their deliciousness. They make everything better-- boca burgers, salad, etc. I wish there was a way to buy a lot of them without them ALL getting ripe at the same time.

-Confession: I have become a regular (gulp) ... elliptical-er. As I've said for the past several months, running is not working out super awesomely. I figured I needed some cardio and if that meant stepping on the fairy machine, so be it. I'm hoping to build some feeble base of fitness that will grant me success in actual running. We'll see.

-A coworker and I went to a spinning class downtown last week. The instructor was a maniac. When he walked in with veins bulging from his huge muscles, tan leathery skin, and sipping on his MONSTER, I knew we were in trouble. It was the first spinning class my friend ever went to and I think she'll never go back. He started off with a pace of like 250rpms, flashed us some crazy eyes(seriously they were like glowing) and said in an almost eerily calm tone 'This is our warmup." Throughout the class he kept screaming things like "COME ON!" and "ARE YOU WITH ME?!" to which I mentally responded NO! I haven't been with you for a VERY long time! If you've ever seen the movie Heavyweights this instructor resembled Ben Stiller's character to a tee. It was not good.

-I start days on May 5th. I'm so excited. I'm also nervous. Day shift is often mass chaos. But I refuse to whine about that-- it seems a small sacrifice for normalcy in my non-work life. Yes please.

-I am fish sitting again. Whenever I put my face next to the fish bowl to get good look at Fish (I forgot what his name is.. so I call him Fish), he starts FLIPPING OUT and darting back and forth across the bowl. I'm worried I'll give him a little fishy heart attack. Sometimes, though he looks dead, so to see if he is or not I get down and look at him and he jumps back to life. You know its bad when you scare the dickens out of a freaking fish.

-My neighbors are outta control. I spend much of my spare time looking for a new apartment on Craigslist. One that is in a duplex or that is a house of its own. However, I haven't found anything that is in my budget that isn't in the middle of nowhere. Fail. I came home from work this morning and the second I opened the door to the stairwell I was slapped in the face by the stench of cannabis. Man that stuff is rank.

-At this point I don't think I'm going to do any triathlons this summer. I am in no shape to do any and feel good about them. I might change my mind, but I am more and more at peace with the idea of figuring out whatever my issue is with getting back in shape and then embracing races again. If I did any in this state of mind, I would be so disappointed in myself and I'd have a terrible time-- why spend money on that?

Paranoid

2010-04-24T19:30:00.005-05:00

Preface: I watch Law and Order (Criminal Intent and SVU) fairly regularly, and have even indulged in online-viewing marathons on occasion. This has led me to paranoia-- in almost every situation I can identify who will rape and/or murder me and why they won't be a prime suspect until 35-45 minutes into the episode that is my life.

When I moved in, there weren't screens on several of my windows. Since it was November and window opening wouldn't be an immediate need, I didn't do anything about it right away. As the weather has been getting warmer, I've wanted those screens more and more. One too many flies have welcomed themselves into my apartment through the gaping open window. So, I put in a maintenance request and within a week, I was woken from my daytime slumber by a handy man, here to install screens.
He was a fine upstanding citizen which made him all the more threatening in my mind. First thing I noticed was his thick accent, which he later would identify as Russian. He measured the windows that were screen-less then said "I will go to Home Depot to get supplies then come back to build the screens." Still half asleep, I nodded okay and shut the door behind him. Then my mind started going crazy. What if he goes to Home Depot to get rope, duct tape, and tarp? He's going to come back and murder me, wrap me up and dump me off. He had no motive, I have nothing of worth to steal in this place (sans my bike which he commented on as it is in one of the rooms w/o a screen), but I was convinced danger ensued. Naturally, I did nothing. I cleaned up a little actually, haha... When he came back I shrugged and let him in. As he built the screens in my living room I sat on the couch and pretended to watch Dr. Phil. It was a very tense silence. Then he started talking. He first asked how long I'd played soccer, motioning to a soccer ball that was on the floor. Oh geeze, he's trying to distract me. BE COOL. So we made small talk. I learned:
-He is from Russia and moved here in 1990. His mom made him move here, but he didn't want to. He went to a military school and liked it because he got along with the other boys there. His mom wanted him to be more social but he never really liked other people than his military school friends.
-He is a trained sharp shooter.
-He ha a license to carry a gun, but is applying for a license to carry a gun with a silencer. (I wanted to ask him why he needs a silencer but could imagine him replying with "So I can do this without anyone hearing" as he whips out his gun and shoots me).
-He played soccer (goalie) professionally in Russia and played some rec here but didn't like it. He wrestled professionally here and enjoyed that more because it was an individual sport. He didn't like losing because of his team, if he was going to succeed or fail he wanted it to be on his terms.
-He is currently looking for a career change into "protective services" which apparently means being a private investigator. According to him, fidelity checks are the most frequent job for PIs. He seemed to think it was silly for people to hire someone for such a reason stating "If you don't trust them, why are you with them?" Ironically, he later told me that he has a mistress even though he is engaged. I asked if his fiancee knew and he said yes, but that she was over it.
-He has two children (ages 5 and 10) that live with their mother (his ex wife) in Nevada.
-He's worked in protective services before and boasted of the power he potentially holds over people by checking their backgrounds and if they pay their taxes. He told me about his ex-wife's new boyfriend or husband and that he checked him out since new-guy has contact with his kids. He also threatened the new-guy with the information he found in case new-guy thought of hurting his kids.
-He told me he can pass a polygraph even if he's lying and that he's done it before.
-He knows how to tell if someone is lying by their body language and other clues he learned in his protective service days.
-Apparently the FBI wanted him to be a Russian translator but he declined because he didn't want to sit behind a desk. He told them he'd be an agent, but they didn't want him because he confessed to smoking pot once in his life.
-He asked where I was from and when I replied "Chicago" he told me he'd been there for 2 hours once. I assumed for a lay over, and he said "No... let's put it this way. I had to 'talk' to someone." He then told me he frequently had jobs where he'd go to a place and then he needed to leave very quickly to avoid aftermath. ?!?!?!?! Perhaps my paranoia is warranted.
-He told me that the Mob doesn't let kidnapping happen in Russia. It happened once where a kid was napped for ransom and the parents went to the Mob for help and the kid was returned to his parents alive, and they also received full garbage bags that had the kidnappers bodies diced into cubes.
-He rides motorcycles and never goes less than 115mph, even on the highways.
-He recommends laying flat on your back all alone in the middle of an open field for several hours to get a clear mind.
-He is a daredevil and at one time swam with sharks (apparently a non-Jaws kind) and put some shield on his arm then attached meat to it. That is his idea of fun.
-He rock climbs without ropes and once got stuck and had to call 911 from 500 feet up a rock face.

The whole time he was chatty chatty chatty. I will believe anything you tell me so long as it makes sense, so for a while I was totally on board with his stories, but the more he talked, the more I was like 'this guy is kinda off.' I started wishing I knew more about psychology so I could profile him and figure out if/how he was going to kill me in order to avoid it. A good two hours later, three screens were built and finally installed (btw not all the windows were the same size, but he assumed they were and just kind of 'made it work'-- dislike). He slowly cleaned up his mess. This is it, get ready to be attacked. He kept TALKING and said I should go sky diving or something to "live a little" (after talking about his risky lifestyle he was unimpressed when I had no stories offer). How clever, he wants me to live a little, but he's going to kill me! But, he didn't have a tarp. He didn't have a rope or any duct tape. He left pretty uneventfully. I'm perplexed... and still paranoid. He knows where I live. He knows I live along (me and my big mouth...). He is a repairman for the building so he's bound to be back. Needless to say I will continue to lock all four locks on my door. But I'm sure he'll find a way around them. He's probably reading this right now.

This is why I should watch less TV. My imagination goes amuck.

Oh snap.

2010-04-15T22:28:00.004-05:00

I am in a very foul mood.

For the second week in a row now, I have come home from a soccer game wanting to hang up my cleats forever. What's the deal?!
I'm almost over last week, but today-- oh today. Livid.
First of all, my expectations were high-- it was still daylight (first time since playing here) and it was 60 degrees! Totally set it up for bliss. I arrived to the field that took seriously like 45 minutes to get to due to rush hour, and discovered it is grass. FML. I haven't played on grass consistently since high school and I hate playing on grass. I will admit it, I am a full blown turf snob. Not only does it make for a more consistent and predictable bounce on the ball, it is way less brutal on my achy breaky knees. Grass turns your legs into cement blocks. and your feet into sledge hammers. THEN we only had seven people show up-- again flash back to high school club soccer. It SUCKS playing even one man down, much less FOUR. Not even the sunny weather could negate the grass and lack of teammates. But we played on-- within five running steps my knee caught funny and didn't stop throbbing for the next 90 minutes. About 20 minutes into the first half I took a spill (as I ricocheted off some large man) right on to my right patella-- which has been and continues to be the bane of my existence. Every step on the uneven and SUPER LONG grass was brutal. My touch was so incredibly horrendous due to the rugged terrain and a dysfunctional right leg. When my touch is off, all bets are off. That's the one 'thing' I could ever claim in the game (that and 'vision'... ugh). I am not fast and no matter how hard I have tried to be, speed is something I do not excel in. So granted-- I was kind of bumbling around out there- AT RIGHT WING NO LESS. Probably the WORST position I could be put in. UGH. People slowly started to trickle in leisurely. I'm sorry, I was taught that if you're late, you are RUNNING to the field. When tardy turds saunter in giggling and chatting with spectators I want to throw up on them. At on particular point, I got called for a lame foul-- some thick foreign man was shielding the ball but his legs were SO FAR apart so I poked my foot between his legs to get the ball from behind him. Apparently that's not allowed. A tardy teammate who was SITTING on the sideline as she casually put her shoes on goes "From behind," in such a know-it-all-I'm-perfect-you-suck-how-do-you-sleep-at-night way. I raised my eyebrows at her and said, "Thank you, I'm aware." (...even though I didn't know that was a foul.. whatever). The rest of the game this girl talked to me like I was four years old and had never even HEARD of the sport of soccer in my life, much less played and coached for many many years. I can't even articulate the ludicrous nature of her tone. It pissed me off SO SO SO much. Once it was our goal kick and the goalie had to go quite a ways to retrieve the ball, so I took advantage of that time and was walking to where I needed to be. She yells to me "HEY! GET WIDE... ALL THE WAY TO THE SIDELINE ON GOAL KICKS." I looked at her again and said "I'm on my way there, thank you." I didn't try to hide my pissed off tone. She said the same thing to me again maybe ten minutes later-- I hadn't NOT gotten wide, I hadn't been out of position-- if there were reason for her to correct me, then I might not get as upset, but when it's totally unjustified, I don't tolerate it well. This time I yelled to (at?) her "I KNOW. I AM GOING. I AM CREATING THE SPACE. I AM DOING WHAT I NEED TO. THANK YOU." She shutup a little bit after that. A while later she asked if I wanted to play center and she could play wing, undoubtedly because she thought she could do better at wing, and fine, she probably could. So I accepted the offer enthusiastically. GUESS WHO DIDN'T GET WIDE. GUESS WHO DIDN'T COME BACK TO MARK UP. --EVEN WORSE-- GUESS WHO GOT YELLED AT BY THE SWEEPER TO MARK HER PLAYER WHEN SHE STAYED UP TOP?!?!?! ME. The next time she failed to come back, I yelled to her that she needed to get back-- that didn't go over well.. soo the next time I just picked up her person, trying to turn the other cheek. She kept looking back at me and then looking to the middle (where I should have been) and then she goes "Why don't you go back to the middle?" And I pointed to HER mark and said "Well, I'm marking this player right now, so I was going to stay on her, but if you want to come back and do your job, I'd love to go to the middle." I was so cheezed off by the entire game at this point. I drove through rush hour traffic to play on a shitty field to hurt myself to play in a game where I apparently was in capable of even knowing what to do to get yelled at and bossed around my a know it all snatch who wouldn't even follow her own instructions. AND WE LOST. No thank you I have no desire to be a part of that.
What happened to the game where we pass to feet and work the ball up the field as a team? What happened to the game where we work together and play GOOD soccer? What happened to the game where we relied on skill and intelligence and vision as opposed to speed and how hard you can push? It is so unfortunate that a potentially awesome 90 minutes can be spoiled by a few who really just suck in their attitude and demeanor towards others. It is more unfortunate that I haven't found a way to rise above those boogers in the punch bowl and enjoy the game regardless of their antics.
UGH. I swear she is the spawn of Troy.
For the record-- I do accept constructive criticism. If I am f-ing it up consistently, by all means, offer your two cents. I know that being on the field doesn't offer the time or environment to sugar coat anything so things often come across as curt or mean. I totally acknowledge that and can accept instructions in whatever tone when it is called for . But even though I was not the super star of the game today, I was not the peon that this tool-ette made me out to be and her conduct was completely un-called for. UGH the more I think about it the more I want to never play again-- with her or not. Doesn't seem worth it to get so riled up. I could seriously rant for a lot longer, but I'd say it's gone long enough.
(Final note: it's been quite some time since I've been THIS irritated-- it seriously reminds me of my senior season at NP-- and when I got to this point in frustration and fury I dealt with it by running (because Lord knows I didn't expend any physical energy warming that damned bench-- lets not go there). But right now it is all I can do to walk to the shower and stand in there long enough get clean. I am 24 years old but I might as well be 80. I even have the wrinkles for it. Wah).

Aquatic Aspirations

2010-04-13T21:47:00.003-05:00

Swimming. Oh, swimming. I miss the pool I frequented in Chicago. Today as I was rallying myself to hit the gym, a coworker called and asked if I wanted to go swim with her at a 24 Hour Fitness up north. There's pretty much nothing I will say no to socially at this point-- beggars can't be choosers. So despite the fact that I haven't been swimming since ... sometime in October, I suited up and went. We actually did some cardio on some goofy machines (think elliptical on steroids...) for a bit then headed to the pool. I get nervous before any workout. Today, my baseline anxiety was increased due to the fact that it'd been so long since my last aquatic workout and that I was accompanied by someone I know and will see again on a regular basis. If I'm alone at a gym I can tell myself 'It doesn't matter how silly you look, you'll never see these people again.' Fortunately, it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be in my head. My workout companion isn't a super star swimmer so I didn't feel overly ridiculous, and we only stayed in the pool for about 15... maybe 20 minutes. Compared to what I did for swim workouts in the past that's cake.
Swimming today, though, made me wish I would swim more. 'Then do it, clown,' I think to myself... My excuse for not swimming is lame but apparently legit as it has prevented me from kicking and flapping since I got here: the only 24HF locations with pools are uber far away. Downtown isn't ridiculously far, BUT it IS ridiculously crowded and I cannot get over the paying for parking issue. The one we went to today is at least a 30 minute drive from me and that's without traffic. Boo! Perhaps there is hope though, as my coworker told me that she heard from a front desk attendant at the Express 24HF we both frequent that they are building a 'Sport' location not far from it. Supposedly in six months there will be a 24HF with a pool and spinning classes within practical reach. I want to believe it, I really do, but I can't help but think "Yea right." We'll see, I suppose. I'd love for them to prove me wrong.
I've had a love hate relationship with swimming over the years. I hated it when I started my freshman year of high school-- probably because I didn't know how to swim... but by senior year I loved it so much that I begged my parents for a membership to the YMCA so I could swim before school during the rest of the year after the season ended. In college I continued that habit-- while at Anderson I swam 3 days a week with a friend before classes. The pool there was DIVINE-- ohmygoodness, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. And the best part is that it opened at like 5:30am. Man of all the things I hated at that school, I sure loved their gym. Once at North Park I was worried that swimming wouldn't be possible, but then I was grateful to learn of the partnership NP had with a VERY nearby school that allowed us to use their fitness facilities, including their really good pool (even though I got WICKED pinkeye from it my sophomore year... I won't hold a grudge because it was so good to me other than that incident). So that discovery was great and then I saw a poster on campus for a swim club. While we were small in numbers we were fierce in determination and discipline. Man, I miss it!
So remembering all the swimming makes me want to get back to it. Lets see if I can rationalize the drive.. or the parking fee.. (ugh)...
When swimming today, even for a few short minutes-- my arms were like cement blocks thrashing through the water. I'm at the ground zero of fitness and I do not like it.

I also tried sushi for the first time today and was pleasantly surprised that it was not only bearable, but pretty good. I do keep burping seaweed though, which is less than awesome.

Courthouse Shoutout

2010-04-06T00:30:00.002-05:00

Last week I went home for just under a week. I love that my job isn't a typical 9-5, and that I can have several days off in a row without having to request vacation. Going home was great and a good change of setting. I've fallen into quite a funk here and getting away for a few days helped to reset my mental mindset (so far, anyways.. I've only been back for like four days..). While at home I went to the 24 Hour Fitness there. It was very not impressive. The more gyms I try, the more I am convinced that the Courthouse is the only gym I will ever have success at. I know it's probably all in my mind, but still.. that place is heavenly. At 24 Hour Fitness in Salem, I went to the spinning class and wanted to die it was so awful. Yes, it was challenging but the instructor was super sub par and it was in a teeny weeny poorly ventilated room. To top it off an old man biking next to me (who was pleasant and chatty before class) asked me as we were wiping down the bikes "How was it?" and when I replied "It was hard!" he nodded his head and said "I can tell..." as he pointed to my face that was BRIGHT red due to physical exertion after a long stretch of sedentary living due to being uber sick. (...lets face it, my face turns red whether I'm in shape or not... but STILL). I swear I attract some rare characters and comments in spinning classes. I was grateful when my grandma let me be her guest at my favorite gym and I lifted in their well equipped and low traffic weight room then went to a real spinning class and enthusiastically suffered through it. I can't say it enough that the Group Ride is so fantastic. I wish with every ounce of my being that the Courthouse would open up a branch in Seattle. They would have one very dedicated member at least. I've been trying to be more diligent in consistent exercise since I've been back. It's crazy how six months ago I would have a panic attack if I missed one day of running, and now I have to constantly bargain with and beg myself to get off my tuckus. Today I even went to the downtown 24 Hour Fitness (for the first time since moving here... 5 months ago...) to do a spinning class there. It obviously isn't the Courthouse but it was better than the Salem 24HF experience. I will probably be going back. I definitely got lost on my way though-- even WITH a GPS! Ha-- how pathetic am I?! And of course it was about 5:30 so rush hour traffic was fierce. Always an adventure.

Anywhooo another rambling post. Nothing terribly exciting or interesting, but hopefully life will spice up a little in the near future. We'll see. I start days in May-- and I am very excited.

Near Death

2010-03-23T16:20:00.004-05:00

On March 12th I woke up feeling fine. On my way to the gym later in the morning, I noticed my head felt stuffy but shrugged it off. When I got home I couldn't ignore the sick feeling that was rapidly overtaking me. Despite the sense of impending doom (which by the way is a real medical symptom, but is used as hyperbole here), I embraced social opportunity that afternoon with some coworkers. I got home around 7pm (we party hard around here...) and was febrile. So began one of the longer lasting bouts of sickness I've endured in quite some time. A wicked bad sore throat and fever initially made me think strep, but I hate doctors so I decided to wait it out. This suspicion was thwarted by the nasal congestion and ...drainage that ensued a few days later. One of the more exciting parts was not being able to sleep. I never have trouble sleeping so this was problematic. As I would fall asleep I would start to feel like I couldn't breathe! I had mini dreams that I was drowning-- not conducive to peaceful sleep (unless its the eternal sleep and I'm not interested in that). I called in sick to work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday I had lost my voice COMPLETELY. Talking on the phone is quite a challenge when you can't speak! On Friday afternoon my mom came up to make sure I wasn't actually dying. It was good to have her here both for company and her help. I was hoping by the time she got here I would be well on my way to cured, but that was not the case. I slept a LOT which was needed because the week before had robbed me of precious REM. I resorted to drugging myself with Nyquill. That stuff takes awhile to get out of my system. I was quite the drugged up hostess. Regardless, I enjoyed her visit and am grateful for the proximity that allows such last minute visits. I went to work last night feeling mostly better-- just a lingering cough. The air in the hospital is SO DRY-- so I came home this morning with a sore throat, which often happens after staying up all night at work even if I haven't been sick before hand. I'm trying to kick the Nyquill so I only got about 4 hours of sleep today (still a significant improvement from pre-Nyquill days). I'm supposed to work Wednesday and Thursday night, too, so hopefully I feel a little better then. I used up all of my sick time... and then some. Apparently it accrues like vacation time... the more hours you work the more sick time hours you get. I had accrued 24 (2 shifts), but I definitely called in three. I think that just means I take a no pay for one of them... but I'm not sure. Hope I didn't break any big rules with that one... fact of the matter is I couldn't have worked despite the lack of available sick time. We'll see! So eleven days later, I'm pretty much better... just a sore throat and some obnoxious cough lingering.
I didn't participate in the 5k run I signed up for this weekend, but I did go get the shirt. I'm such a poser. I haven't run in 11 days. I was slowly (...very slowly) making my comeback, so this is a significant setback. I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another.

"Girrrl, you crazy."

2010-03-12T05:58:00.005-06:00

After SEVERAL weeks of waiting-- I got the golden email this morning that went a little something like this:

Dear Kristin,

Recently you applied for a day/night rotator position. Good news... of those that applied you have the highest seniority and the position is yours! Please confirm before I proceed and officially fill the position with your name.

The clouds opened up and the angels started singing-- what glorious news! One step closer to normalcy. I am sooo grateful and can't wait to embrace day shift. Even though days are absolute mayhem.. I will endure the chaos with a smile because it will be daytime and I will be awake... like normal people should be. Win.

I don't have anything to write about lately. My right knee has been hurting more than EVER which has been concerning and has made running rather sucky (... lets be honest my lack of cardiovascular endurance hasn't helped much either..).

I had a CRAZY dream last night. I dreamt I was staying at my parents' house but I was doing the Chicago Triathlon (and it was in Salem). For some reason, the morning of the race I jogged to transition. But it wasn't a normal jog it was like I'd take a step and be suspended in mid air for three seconds then I'd land-- I was frustrated with how slow it was (hmm wonder how that reflects to real life... durrr). I was about a mile from my parents house when I realized "I FORGOT MY BIKE!" So I had to turn around and float-jog back (all of this is happening with me in my Team in Training spandex with my giant soccer backpack on-- naturally). So I finally made it back and burst through the door to what seemed like a home improvement store and was bawling but had no tears. I was explaining everything to my mom. By this point it was getting light outside, and its known that if you're not at transition before dawn then the masses of people will slow you down and you're screwed. I had it in my mind that transition closed at 6am and it was already 5:15 and I had to get downtown--dismal. I thought, 'Well I can get there faster if I ride my bike.' Right THEN I remembered that my bike tires were FLAT (which is true in real life because I haven't ridden it in so long..). This made me more upset in my dream because I needed a pump that accommodates a presta valve, and I didn't have one. My mom said something about seeing papers that said transition was open until 8am. So I figured I could load my bike into my car, have my dad go down to transition with me and drop me off so I wouldn't have to worry about parking. Once there I would try to borrow someone's bike pump. In the midst of rallying my troops, there was a voice-over saying something about for the first time ever transition would be open until 8am and that they couldn't predict what challenges this might cause. I was relieved by that but still panicked, I was VERY late. For some reason unbeknownst to me, 'loading up' meant getting a ridiculously large trailer of sorts down from a steep hill that magically appeared to the left of my parents' house/home improvement store. By this time it was pure daylight and it was very warm-- the universe's way of reminding me of my tardiness. I ran to the top of the hill thinking I could get it myself but then I realized how HUGE it was. The neighbors were out in their yard and gave me the "Girrrl, you crazy.." look. I called down for my family (my sister suddenly appeared, too) to help. Then I woke up.
What the heck? Dreams kind of fascinate me but I wish I knew what they meant. Obviously I am concerned about not being prepared for any triathlons. It is no secret that being late is something I passionately despise. Why does my subconscious have to remind me? While I am grateful for the state of modern medical technology that I live in , I wish scientists had a clearer understanding of dreams--- how they form, what they mean, etc. Lately I have been having a lot of lucid dreams, too. I can't decide if it's cool or creepy. It's all probably a result of the ridiculously irregular sleep schedule I'm on. Lose.
There's a tangent for ya. Shoot.

Confession

2010-03-09T18:40:00.002-06:00

Confession: while the night shift can be equally as chaotic as day shift, there are also times when it is absolutely mind numbingly boring. Last night to pass the time I read about how terrible working graveyard shift is for one's overall health. It may have been a small private pity party.

Confession: Several months ago I decided to motivate myself by signing up for a half marathon. I gave myself a solid three months to train for a 13.1 mile race on March 20th. HA. I can barely sputter out three miles at a pace oh so slightly faster than walking. I emailed the race people to see if they would switch my registration to the 5k that will also happen that day. They said yes which is nice because now I can wear the t-shirt without being a poser and it's not a complete waste of money. But still, writing that email was mortifying.

Confession: I slept for almost 24 hours straight the other day (and night).

Confession: (this one's a doosey) ...i think i miss chicago... shh, don't tell. Maybe that's not 100% accurate--- I miss that I KNEW PEOPLE there. Starting over is some lonely business, let me tell you. It is gradually getting better, but much slower than I'd like. Then again, it seems as though things in life that take a while to happen are most enduring. So let's hope whatever social life I grow ends up being worth the wait.

I'm applying for a loan repayment program offered by the government. If accepted I have to commit to working at a critically short staffed facility for at least two years. The hospital I'm at qualifies, so no qualms there. Here is my plan: if I get accepted (they took like 700 something last year out of ~10,000 applicants... I'm not holding my breath) then I will definitely stay put for the two years, and depending on everything maybe the third that you can apply for (it takes the 60% repayment of your loans to I think 75%). If I don't get it, I will fulfill a year here and then see if travel nursing is a possibility again. Everyone at work always talks about travel nursing and how they've done it at one point and loved it, or how they can't wait until they get an opportunity to do it. Their excitement is contagious so... we'll see. Not having roots or attachments is awesome in the sense that I can do what I want when I want to do it. That will be the silver lining I cling to.

P.U.

2010-02-17T10:19:00.002-06:00

One thing that outdoor running holds over treadmill running is fresh air. It seems that within the running community there are a number of GI issues. I will be the first to admit that I toot a little more when I run than when I'm not running (if I ever run outdoors with you, it WILL be prefaced with "Just so you know, I fart when I run." But if we're side by side on a treadmill I won't dare warn you unless there are only two treadmills or we're the only two in the building, otherwise it could be ANYONE). GI issues or not, it makes sense-- things get jostled up and moved along. In this regard, treadmill running stinks... literally. The only thing worse than fighting tooth and nail for cardiovascular health on a treadmill is trying to do so when it smells like epic poo all around you. Everyone has been the culprit (and if you haven't then you're lying), but it doesn't make it any more tolerable when you're the victim. Perhaps one more reason to run outside. Perhaps.

War Victory (...i think)

2010-02-02T10:25:00.003-06:00

My parents came up this past weekend to visit and for a late birthday celebration. It was good to see them and do some Seattle exploring. We rode the bus downtown and went on the Underground Tour. It was very interesting and was probably the first history lesson I retained. We also walked around Lake Washington a bit at Magnuson Park. I can't wait until summer here, being outside will be so much more fun. Given-- it is eight thousand times more fun here than it was in Chicago, but it's still chilly and rainy.
Preparing for my parents arrival was something else. I have been quite the worker-bee. I worked the 21st, 22nd, and 23rd, then had the 24th off, then worked the 25th, 26th, and 27th. My parents arrived late on the 29th. My '6 out of 7 days' stretch was all on the night shift, so after working the night of the 27th, the 28th was absolutely shot. The 28th, I had to force myself out of bed at 5pm to play in a soccer game that evening. It was a good game, we won. Afterward the team I played with decided to go to a bar to celebrate/socialize. I was SO excited-- finally some socialization outside of work! I had carpooled to the game with a girl I went to college with and her friend. We got to the bar and they obviously asked to see our ID's. I handed mine to the lady and prayed the expiration date (printed in red right under my picture) wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately it wasn't a stupid woman checking ID's, so I was asked to leave. I hate to be a kill-joy, so I insisted my carpoolers stay and enjoy while I sat in the car. I called my mom to figure out their schedule in coming up here the next day, and texted about everyone in my contacts list (not REALLY, dad, calm down). A good two and a half to three hours later my carpool compadres came back and I finally got home around 10:15pm-- freezing (never thought to turn the heat on in the car...) and starving.
Over the previous seven days, my apartment turned pretty ugly. Cinnamon still lined the baseboards, dishes consumed the sink and surrounding counter space, the garbage was smelling quite rank, vacuuming was needed... everywhere, the bathroom was an issue of its own... etc. Lucky for me, I had slept the whole day and purely out of habit had taken my stimulants when I woke up that afternoon. So, I was AWAKE. I first tackled the dishes because they were grossing me out. They took a good hour and a half and then after wiping down the counters I moved to the floors. Cinnamon, while a great ant repellent, is a beyotch to clean up. My plan was to sweep then dust bust what I couldn't reach with the broom. First of all, as I was assessing the situation I saw THREE ANTS trying to break through the cinnamon! Oh, hell no! I thought. I needed to RAID the place stat. I swept that cinnamon up so fast! When you sweep cinnamon across a white-ish linoleum it leaves a brown smear. It's really gross. I put a LOT of cinnamon on the floor so, even after it was swept it looked pretty icky. After swiffer sweeper-ing like crazy and getting on my hands and knees to get some spots with a Clorox wipe... I got the most of it up. (I also felt like a meth addict at this point-- It was 3am by now and here I am crawling around my kitchen trying to make the floor SHINE!) Once the cinnamon was gone I busted out the RAID and doused the baseboards. I was/am troubled by the sound it makes when it hits the surface... it sizzles for like three seconds. It's a good thing these floors are in sad shape to begin with because I'm pretty sure the RAID damaged them. Whoops. All this is to say-- at the risk of sounding overly confident and looking like a fool later-- I think I won the war. YES. I cleaned some other things half heartedly and finally surrendered at 6am and went to sleep.
I woke up at noon and decided to go get my drivers license figured out. The embarrassment of being banished to the car the night before PLUS the anticipation of a lecture from my law abiding father motivated me to find the documents that I didn't have during my last attempt and give it another go. It took awhile (the DMV is apparently the place to be at 3pm on a weekday afternoon!), but I got it and got home in time to finish cleaning before the 'rents arrived. Phew. Not long after they got here, my downstairs nemesis started his antics and I flipped out. It was almost midnight when he STARTED his noise. So, I impatiently waited for him to realize the error of his ways and turn it down himself. When he failed to do that, I did what any mature young woman would do. I sent my dad down. They exchanged words, and from my understanding their interaction went very differntly than the times I have gone down there. But-- he turned it down and my dad was the hero. He also confirmed my suspicions that they are "stoned out of their minds!" Oh Reefer, just leave me alone. About an hour after my parents left on Sunday he was back to intolerable volumes. A trinket fell off of the bookselves from the vibrations. I emailed the apartment manager who affirmed my complaint and said he'd post something about the noise rule on the offedners' door. Lets see if it does any good. I looked for said noise rule in my lease and this is what I found: "Tenant, faimly, and guest shall have due regard for the peace and enjoyment of other tenants in the Building. The level of noise within any unit whether it originates from television, stereo, conversation, or any other source must be such that it cannot be heard in any adjoining unit." Evict the clowns.
I'm now enjoying significant time off! I don't have to work until Friday night. It will be another long stretch, but I'm grateful for the time I have now to catch my breath.

I have won the battle...

2010-01-23T18:44:00.002-06:00

Dear cardiovascular fitness that I once briefly held in my grasp: where in tarnation did you go?! Come back to me, I beg you.

War update: I have won the battle. Cinnamon WORKS WELL. Don't judge me, but I still have the same cinnamon barricade along the baseboards of the kitchen. Just this morning I bought Raid, and have yet to actually sweep up the cinnamon and spray (I blame night shift for the delay... and everything askew in my life, lets be honest). I'm nervous to spray Raid in the kitchen... I guess it's just on the floor so it should be okay... right?

Tonight is my last night on orientation. I will have one night off (Sunday night), then work three in a row... solo. Vomit worthy? Yes. I have noticed a theme both at my previous job and my present one that people's first night off orientation always ends traumatically. Whatever can go wrong will, whatever patient is supposed to be the stable one ends up going downhill unexpectedly, etc. Truthfully, I don't vividly remember my first night off orientation in Chicago, which suggests that nothing was uber terrible (unless it was so bad that I repressed it and will come back to haunt me in my middle-adulthood... something to look forward to!). So I'm nervous. Generally speaking if you work several shifts in a row, efforts are made to give you the same patient assignment as it provides consistency in care and for the family, which is usually awesome. However, my assignments the past two nights (and I'm assuming tonight) have been rather intense, and I would definitely appreciate something slightly simpler as I forge the waters on my own. After the second three-in-a-row, I'll have eight glorious days off and I am genuinely looking forward to that!

The Great War of Apartment #104

2010-01-21T04:00:00.003-06:00

I'll blame my lack of posts and lack of excitement in this post on night shift. Enough said.

About an hour and a half ago, I walked into my kitchen to turn the light off as I was going to bed. I looked down on the floor and saw a smooshed raisin. Gross. I knelt down to pick it up and throw it away, but as my delicate fingers made contact a thousand ants scurried in all directions. EW. EW EW EW. I have ants! THEY ARE SO GROSS. I grabbed my Windex+Vinegar, cursing myself for getting a 'natural cleanser,' of all times I really wanted some hardcore, non-diluted BLEACH right then. Thus initiated The Great War of Apartment #104. Me vs. Ants. I spent quite a while soaking the sick little critters with my pansy cleaner, then I gagged as I cleared the battlefield. I then went straight to the internet to find good ways to get rid of ants. I plan on getting RAID as soon as stores open, but I don't want them to gain ground between now and then. I saw things like mint, pepper, cinnamon, and pure vinegar will get rid of them. Something about the strong smell or something. I have a LOT of pepper, so I went with that first-- as soon as I started sprinkling it around the bases of the cabinets (where they were coming from because this old building has essentially ZERO caulking throughout.. don't get me started..) I realized that pepper on the ground looks like a million little ants. I sprinkled it all around anyways in a fit of insanity. Then I saw a bugger lost in the middle of the (off)white linoleum. I decided to sprinkle pepper right on top of it to see what it would do (hoping it would roll over and die). It definitely panicked at first.. then it got out of the pepper and started heading away from it, BUT then it turned around! It returned to the pepper and started scavenging within it! WTF?! So then I got out the cinnamon. I saw another ant in a bare space so I dumped some cinnamon on him and watched. HE FLIPPED. He sped away from the cinnamon and didn't look back. I put cinnamon in his path and he avoided it like the Plague. So-- I swept up all the pepper and replaced it with cinnamon. It has been VERY messy. I shoved cinnamon so far in the cracks that I don't think I'll ever get it out. But I am PRAYING that it will keep the ants at bay until I can get some serious chemical warfare to unleash on them. I feel like they're crawling all over me. VOMIT. All because of ONE LITTLE RAISIN! Seriously.

As if my unwelcome friends are not enough, my rock band downstairs neighbor is STILL at it. I even initiated mature confrontation and went down to his apartment, rang the doorbell and said "I live above you. Can you please turn your music down?" For a good 24 hours it was a dull roar instead of deafening noise and I was quite pleased with myself. But all good things must come to an end. I think I'll ask one more time and then I will feel justified complaining to the manager. It blows my mind that he thinks it's an appropriate thing to BLAST music SO LOUDLY when living in such close proximity. Honestly-- he'd have to live on Mars for that to be an appropriate volume. Poor volume awareness is one of my biggest pet peeves. coughnicolecough

I have decided to not write about running for a while. It isn't something that is pleasing me at ALL. So please refrain from asking about it (...mom).

I have ONE MORE WEEK on orientation and then I'm flying solo. EEK! I seriously thought I had two weeks left. Nay. That is three shifts until I have to go it alone. Ulcer worthy. I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer already. I had a TERRIBLE dream that I was talking to my boss and she said "It looks like it will be quite a while until a day position opens up..." I remember that (in my dream) I pasted on a fake fake smile and nodded my head as I tried to be a 'team player'. Screw the team, folks, I gotta get to days. I'm going CRAZY! And now there are ANTS IN MY KITCHEN AND IT IS 2:20AM BUT I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I'M AFRAID THAT ANTS WILL CRAWL INTO MY MOUTH BECAUSE I'M A MOUTH BREATHER! This is why daytime hours are best for me.

FML

2010-01-08T17:21:00.004-06:00

Generally speaking I am enjoying my new life in Seattle and am pleased with my decision to move. It would be silly to assume that everything would be perfect, but that's life-- there's always going to be a few things that are less than spectacular. Over the past few days it seems like those irritating things are overshadowing their awesome counterparts, and because it's my blog and I can write whatever I want, they are as follows:

*I am living above an aspiring rock musician. He smokes, is unttractive, and has a really weird cough (so any of you thinking "Maybe he's your McDreamy!" you're wrong). I don't think he's actually playing anything himself, but the "music" coming from his very fancy sound system is ridiculous and obnoxious. The mind numbingly irritating nature of this noise will be potentiated by the fact that...
*I start night shift on Monday. This means daytime sleep will once again be something I practice regularly irregularly. To start my downfall with a bang, the scheduling gods decided to have me work day shift on Saturday and Sunday, then start nights Monday and Tuesday. Wtf.
*I have been under the weather for three days. I am pretty sure that the culprit is a little kiddo that got put on viral isolation in the middle of the day I was taking care of her.
*Tuesday I had to make up the afternoon of Orientation I missed due to my sudden sickness during Week One at work. At the end of the day a representative from the nurses union came to talk about the union. I was looking forward to this as I have no idea how unions work-- we didn't have one in Chicago. She didn't say anything super helpful, and the part that makes this situation worthy of the "FML List" is that union dues are absolutely ridiculous! It's over $800 a YEAR! Please join me in my outrage-- $68 every month will be going to 'the union.' I don't WANT a union! I was sooo put off that at the end of the schpiel I went up to the lady and asked if being a union member is optional, and when she said "No," I asked her to tell me something that would make me feel better about paying them $800 a year. She rambled off nonsense reasons like we'll get a Journal in the mail every month, etc. Excuse me, it had better be one HELL OF A JOURNAL that is printed on GOLD PAPER for it to be worth EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS A YEAR! Not a one time payment of $800, but EVERY YEAR. SERIOUSLY-- think about how many nurses there are... and EACH one is giving EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!? Someone is making serious bank and to me it seems CRIMINAL.
*My drivers license expires on Wednesday. Yesterday, I went to the DMV to not only renew it but get it transferred to my new state of residence. After waking up early and getting dolled up (quite a long process) in anticipation of a new picture being taken, I drove to the far away DMV (several of them are closed indefinitely) only to realize as I pulled into the parking lot that I forgot my proof of address. So I drove back and got a "Proof of Address" card the public library sent me, drove alllllll the way back to the office. It was a pleasantly short wait only to be told that my proof of address wasn't one of the acceptable forms. Apparently, one needs super official mail-- something from the government, utilities bill (mine won't come until mid-February), cable bill (yea right), anything government issued with the current address on it... etc. Bottom line is I don't have any of these things. One can be a pay stub, but the only pay stub I have is detached from the garbage part with the address on it. I only kept the necessary part. They won't even accept a copy of my lease! wtf?! All of this is to say that I drove to the DMV twice and still don't have a license that will last more than five days (and I'm working 4 out of those 5 days and will be sleeping on the 5th.)
*Despite the fact that my head feels like a hot air balloon, I decided to play in an outdoor soccer game I found on Craigslist-- I feel like these opportunities are few and far between and didn't want to let one slip by. I should have let it slip. The highlight: I took a ball to the face, kicked by some male toolshed trying to prove his masculinity by how hard he can kick the ball, nevermind if it was to a teammate or AT an innocent opponent. Face-balls (insert immature middle school boy chuckle here) hurt under any circumstance... the fact that I have a budding sinus infection and that my frontal and maxillary sinuses are oh so tender made it that much worse. It wasn't awesome. It was ridiculously cold (not in comparison to the frigid Midwest, but still very uncomfortable). I seriously considered leaving at half time.

It's my sincere hope that life will shift back to the pleasant side sooner than later. I am encouraged by one thing: when living in Chicago if I'd had a week like this (and trust me, there were PLENTY of these weeks), I would get that much more enthusiastic about leaving that city. However, this week hasn't started me on a search for a new city. It hasn't done much but piss me off to be honest. Perhaps it's the fact that it's the first rocky week, but I will hold on to the fact that it's because this is a good city to live and I like it.

"Do you want some of this?"

2010-01-02T08:43:00.002-06:00

Preface: The D.A.R.E Program really worked for me. It completely turned me off to drugs and alcohol at an early age by promising me that if I engaged in such activities I would smell bad, lose all my friends, and do poorly in school. Perhaps I was an overly impressionable 4th grader, but I avoided smelling bad, never lost a friend due to substance abuse on my part, and graduated high school and college. Three victories in my book. However, to this day, I apparently still assume that anyone who does drugs must be a big bad criminal living under the law.

My neighbor invited me to go celebrate the New Year with her large and welcoming family. I thought... hesitated... but ultimately decided to go (in a new Yes-Woman mentality that I'm attempting). So around 12:30 I went over to her apartment and met her boyfriend who would be going with us. He was equally as kind, could carry a conversation, and just was legit. On our way we stopped at a local coffee shop (Zokas) and he even bought me a cup of Chai. Totally caught me off guard. What nice people! It was a little over an hour drive to our destination, and my neighbor and her BF played tour guide, pointing out Bill Gates' house, the new Microsoft buildings, telling me which parts of town were uppity, etc. We made another pit stop at Safeway to get flowers for the hosts. While the lady was wrapping the flowers Boyfriend went back to the car. I didn't think much of it. When we got back to the car, my neighbor said to her significant other "You look like you're up to no good.. it smells awfully green in here." I didn't really get it at first. Did he foof? It did smell funny, but not like a fart. I just chuckled along. As we pulled out of the parking lot, he got out a purple velvet bag with silver drawstrings. He opened it and pulled out what I am pretty sure was a BONG. Yes a Mary-J bong. Now I was watching in terror-- flashbacks to fourth grade with Officer Whoever saying 'Drugs are bad!' 'Don't do drugs!' 'BAAAHHHH!' I watched as he pulled out a container from his purple bag that looked like a pog container-- he flipped open the lid and out came a green little cluster. I almost fainted. I'm in the car with a DRUG LORD. I'm going to the Big House. Every one is going to think I moved here to smoke POT. Do I have a quarter to call home? My parents always said they'd come get me... what if that means driving to Seattle...? Fortunately I snapped back to reality and realized my cell phone was in my purse so no quarters were necessary. My neighbor, taking it all in stride, cracked the windows which did NOTHING for the stench. I felt nauseous. I stared out the window and tried to laugh at the appropriate parts of the conversation but am sure I failed. I couldn't focus. What if I'm getting a second hand high?! What if we get pulled over? Will I go to jail, too? What if I get lung cancer from this? THEN-- Boyfriend turns around and shoves the bong toward me! "Do you want some of this?" Immediately the 'JUST SAY NO' slogan alarmed in my head; I looked at him, cross eyed I'm sure, and replied calmly "No, I'm okay. Thanks, though." D.A.R.E. SUCCESS. So he puffed along like a chimney the rest of the way and I sat in disbelief, wondering what my neighbor's family would think of me when I showed up smelling like pot. Then I wondered if they were Cannabis enthusiasts, too... what was I getting myself into?! We arrived and it was such a fun time-- sans MaryJane. Lots of good and unhealthy food, lots of vegetarian jokes ("You're a vege-terrible???"), but such a welcoming and fun bunch of people that I sincerely hope to see again sometime. On the way Boyfriend said "If you like booze, meat, and/or football, you're going to have a great time!" This concerned me as I am not a fan of any of those... but it was a great time regardless.
Boyfriend lit up on the way back, too. I pondered my life and tried to get right with the Lord reeeal fast just in case the driver got a second hand high and we got in a fatal car crash. I saw the driver texting, too, and was sure my life would end in that car ride. Miraculously we made it back. I really enjoyed the day and am glad I went. I don't know if my reaction to the illegal substance was due to my serious naieve-ness or what. Perhaps the stereotype of the pacific northwest being pot heads is true...? I just don't know.

In other news-- I worked 5 out of the past 6 days and was pooped. The indoor soccer game was a lot of fun, even though we lost. I'm trying to figure out if it's worth it to sign up to play a season, even though I'd miss a significant amount of games due to work. My knees hurt and it was horrifying to realize how painfully out of soccer-shape I am. We'll see.

I also can't believe it's the new year. I crashed on Thursday night around 9:30pm-- it's okay to be envious of my cool-ness. 2010, eh? Here's to many new adventures in the coming year... hopefully very few of them involving marijuana.

Nothing Exciting

2009-12-29T01:38:00.002-06:00

*It was a very merry Christmas.

*I met my neighbor and had tacos at her apartment tonight. She seems very nice and she does triathlons! Who woulda thought?

*I am playing in an indoor soccer game tomorrow night with a team I found on Craigslist. I'm very nervous and excited. HOPEFULLY I won't make a complete fool of myself.

*The next three days have great potential to kill me. I work tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday-- 7a-730p (ish). The soccer game tomorrow starts at 10pm. I'm hoping to get home by midnight and go STRAIGHT to sleep and be alive enough to not completely fail at work on Tuesday. We'll see. Eek. This is just one example of poor decision making on my part. Who agrees to play in a 10pm game when they have to be at work by 7am the next day?!

*I just realized it's 11:40... I definitely thought it was 9:00.

*After talking about triathlons with my neighbor I was inspired to register for the half ironman in August. I went to the website and it wasn't working, but I stumbled on some race reviews. Apparently it isn't the best race ever. Is this a sign?? Second (or eighty fourth) thoughts for sure.

2009-12-24T18:51:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas Eve. This is perhaps my favorite day of the winter holiday season. This year is even sweeter due to my absence in the family festivities last year. I don't think I ever took said festivities for granted, but I appreciate them even more after having missed out.

I drove home early Tuesday morning to avoid traffic. Since I am still on orientation at work, I can't work holidays (they don't want to pay two people-- my preceptor and me-- holiday pay). Fine by me! So I worked on Monday and don't have to be back until Saturday. I told my mom and we decided to surprise my dad. When he saw me in the driveway Tuesday morning he thought something had gone terribly wrong until I said "Surprise!" Nothing crazy mind blowing or terribly exciting, but fun nonetheless.

It's nice to be home even though I was here just a few weeks ago. I like that more frequent visits are a reality.

Feeling in the Christmas spirit, my dad paid for a guest pass for me to my favorite gym ever this morning. I went to spinning (duh) and enjoyed it thoroughly (double duh). Frequently in the class, the instructor will say "Give your neighbor a thumbs up" after a particularly challenging song. As I turned to give the thumbs up, my neighbor said to me "Don't eat too much tonight." What a tool. I know men don't get women... but seriously, you would think they'd be a little more aware. I was especially grateful to spin because the past two days I've been here I've been running in the hills outside and my knees needed a break from that nonsense. Spinning was the perfect remedy.
The first day I was running outside on a particularly narrow and windy country road. There are either gravel shoulders or no shoulders at all out here in the sticks. As I crested a hill, I saw a car coming towards me with a construction orange sign on top of it that said "OVER SIZED LOAD." I looked behind that car and saw an incredibly over sized load, so I decided to stop running (phew!) and get as far to the side of the road as possible. Unfortunately there was really no where to go. I looked back toward the over sized load, I saw orange flags hanging off the side of the load signaling that it was significantly wider than the road. The flags were coming straight for my head. I didn't panic but I was confused-- I wanted more to figure out what in the world was on this load and why in the world they were using this road to transport it. I snapped out of my curiosity just in time to duck and avoid decapitation. I didn't get a good look at whatever it was, but I didn't lose my head either, so I guess we'll call it even.

Not a lot to report. Work is going well and I am enjoying it. I'd be lying if I didn't say it was overwhelming, but that's to be expected, and it's my sincere hope that in good time it'll be better. I know it will be, I remember feeling even more overwhelmed when I started my old job. So I know there's light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a long tunnel.
My apartment is looking good. My parents were kind enough to come up last weekend and help a lot. I needed some power tools so my dad brought a toolbox for a champion and helped me put my guest bed together (that's right, I have a guest bed!), and helped hang a bunch of things on the walls, and a ton of other stuff. It was great to have the company and the help. My mom brought a fancy pants wall hanging that fits perfectly above the TV. It's starting to look homey!

Merry Christmas-- happy holidays. I'm a Christmas enthusiast, but embrace your holiday of choice. The Wal-Mart bell ringer was quite excited about Winter Solstice yesterday. I love the West Coast.

Jesus Crows

2009-12-14T00:08:00.003-06:00

My first day on the floor was all sorts of crazy. I definitely feel like a brand new nurse and it's very daunting, but I know it will get better... with time. While some things are the same at my new job as my old, a lot more are very very different. It will be a great challenge to not only learn the new way, but to break my habits of old first. Perhaps my biggest nemesis-- paper charting. That and no medication barcode scanning. I feel like a cave-woman. Despite the 'holy shit' of realizing all that I have to learn and adjust to, I can say that my preceptor is very kind and patient AND articulate. I appreciate that very much.

Today I forced myself off the couch to go running. I have not been the most disciplined at running lately. I shuffled my way up and down several very long and very steep hills to Green Lake. Around Green Lake is a trail that is a hot spot for runners, walkers, bikers, bladers (not my favorite people), etc. I went a little ways on that trail and noticed that the water had a layer of ice on it. I only noticed this because I saw crows walking on it. "Jesus crows!" I thought to myself. I chuckled and shuffled along. It's the little things.

I still get lost every time I drive, but the time it takes me to figure it out is decreasing.

I went to spinning last Thursday morning before work under the impression that the circus clown instructor wouldn't be there. However, I was unpleasantly surprised as she tromped down the stairs, three minutes late no less. Needless to say, I'm not feeling the vibe of ProRobics... I might give 24 Hour Fitness a try... I really don't like the idea of a big chain gym... but I'm not finding much else. The downtown Seattle location has an appropriately sized pool and they have spinning classes, and they're open 24/7. But it's quite a hike to get there from my apartment, and the only parking available is street parking, so it'd be $$$ every time I went. There is an 'express' location much closer to my apartment, so I could use that for running and lifting, but I'd have to make the trek for swimming and spinning. We'll see. If I could convince the Courthouse to move here, that would be fantastic.

Circus Cycling

2009-12-08T20:41:00.003-06:00

Sooo I really need to find a gym and get my workout on. This weekend I purchased a 10 for $10 pass at a gym very close to my place of employment. It's kinda cool because this deal is a promotion they're running AND all proceeds (the $10 part of the equation) go to Seattle Children's Hospital. When I saw that on their website, I took it as a sign and went to enroll. I've been there a couple of times since and the jury is still out. It's very small, which after being a member of a mega gym, I can appreciate. When I took a tour of the place, the woman showing me around said something to the effect of there is a lot of camaraderie within the gym and it isn't a bunch of meat heads strutting around. That's something I really would like in a gym, so I was pleased to learn that. I'm nervous that it's TOO small though... we'll see.
(RANDOM PS-- I'm watching FRIENDS and it's the episode where Phoebe changes her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock-- this show NEVER ceases to make me laugh out loud... I love it)
ANYWAY-- this morning I went to spinning at ProRobics. It was no Group Ride, but I was sweating (which IS significant because it was a whopping TWELVE degrees this morning and their spinning 'studio' is in an un heated basement... I could see my breath and the steam rising off people!). The instructor wasn't my favorite.. she was very... 'west coast' as we called them in Chicago.. earthy-zen-center-your-soul-esque. Also, she didn't DO the workout... she'd be on the bike and do some of it, then she would either like slow down completely or get off and start barking at people... DON'T QUIT! SIX SIX SIX SIX! SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN! (FRIENDS reference-- the one where Monica gets excited about SEVEN... hahahha). So this clown wasn't my favorite. I know that it's my own workout and it'll be what I make of it blah blah blah... but I think there's a lot to be said for the instructor demonstrating what they expect from the participants. The last straw was at the end of the class we were stretching. Several of the stretches were not only life threatening, but also resembled circus like acrobatic moves. One was where she wanted us to stand up on the pedals, and then lean back toward the seat-- still standing... be completely 'stiff as a board' leaning back at like a 45 degree angle to the floor... then put our hands above our head and stretch. I can't even describe the ludicrous nature of this activity. The other one that made me scoff was standing on the pedals, knees bent at 90 degree angles, leaning over the handlebars. Then "like a cobra," you lunge forward so your legs are straight and you're extended out over the handlebars even farther. I was clinging for dear life when she goes "and let go with your hands and reach out to the stars..." all in her flowy mother earth voice. I just looked around at the geezers who get up at 5am for this nonsense and watched their feeble attempts. I'm sorry, I didn't know this was circus cycling. I achieved and maintained my target heart rate, so it wasn't a waste on any level, but I don't know that I will enthusiastically return to this instructors class anytime soon.

I have decided against the half marathon in January because I'm not ready for it and I need to get into a regular flow with life before I can take on diligent training for an event. There is a half marathon here in March that I'm hoping will work. We'll see. Still unsure about the half ironman, but I have to decide by the 25th, I think. Hopefully registration won't close BEFORE then... and hopefully I can scrounge up the $$$ to register... we'll see. I feel like I keep saying "I'll do it next year" but it really won't get any easier the longer I put it off, so let's just get it done now. Perhappers.

Work is going well. I have GENUINELY enjoyed the classroom time and have been engaged and learning a lot. That's huge-- during orientation in Chicago I wanted to gouge my eyes out with boredom. Everyone continues to be ridiculously nice and welcoming. I'm anxious to meet my coworkers and hopefully future friends! It's a very fun time.

A post in aStErIsKs

2009-12-04T21:35:00.004-06:00

*For every day I choose to NOT drive to work, I get paid an extra $3.25 for the day. Take notes, Chicago. Shoot-- if I'd had that incentive last year when I didn't OWN a car-- it would have made biking that much more rewarding! I love my new green employer.

*Day two of orientation was... rocky. I woke up that morning feeling crazy nauseous but decided to suck it up and go (via walking) to work anyway. Through the morning talk I got the chills and sweats, then on an afternoon tour, ended up in an observation room in the Emergency Department after essentially fainting (black vision, sounds like underwater...). After three hours of begging them to not admit me (I don't have insurance this month and that is not a bill I can pay) they finally sent me home in a taxi (praise them!). I immediately found my bed, called my dad and lost it, then fell asleep. It was a night of febrile dreams, sweat, dry heaves, ridiculous nausea and dizzy attempts at hydration. I spent Wednesday on my couch in and out of consciousness. I felt a lot better on Thursday, but the hospital has a 24 hour fever free policy that forbade me from going there. Good news is that as quickly as that episode came, it left, and today I went to work without any episodes. What an icebreaker, eh?! m-o-r-t-i-f-y-i-n-g.

*My apartment is slowly looking like an apartment. I have a couch, thanks to Craigs List. My focus is now the spare bedroom. It should have a place for potential guests to sleep, so I'm looking for a bed. And a bed for ME, seeing as how I am borrowing one right now.

*I haven't gotten to explore much yet-- thought I did run on the Burke Gilman Trail once and enjoyed it. The hills really ill my knees... so that will be interesting. I'm looking forward to a mild winter that will allow me to stretch my legs a little.

*I'm ridiculously nervous to drive anywhere, though, out of pure fear of repeating the episode of getting lost that happened on my way back from dropping my mom off. That's a quarter tank of gas I'll never get back. Bah!

*Everyone I've met here has been ridiculously nice and that is SO ENCOURAGING and exciting. Maybe I made a good decision... the first time...! (knock on wood...)

*I'm still looking for a gym. Haven't looked super hard this week because I haven't been able to walk 20 feet without feeling light headed.. but that is atop my TO-DO list for the weekend.

*I feel like I am in school again with all the 'online learning modules' to complete and notebooks of information that I'm "responsible for" I've received in the past few days. Gulp.

*Loving Seattle!!! Pictures later.

"Thees ees okay?"

2009-11-24T21:44:00.005-06:00

*I love my home gym for several reasons-- one of the most prominent being their spinning classes. If you have access to a facility that utilized the "Group Fitness" program (ie: Group Ride, Group Power, Group Kickboxing, Group _____), seriously go to them. They're freaking hard but awesome. I sometimes feel silly because there are geezers there that are doing so much better than I am doing, but the fact of the matter is I sweat my eyeballs out and can't breathe, so I must be getting a good workout even if the rickety old man next to me is getting a better one. (Note: the Group Fitness program isn't any old spinning or kickboxing class-- it's a very specific curriculum and it is wonderful.)

*Speaking of fitness-- mine is atrocious whether in a group or not. This is upsetting to me and I am not sure what I am going to do about it. I want to do a half marathon in January... not to mention the half ironman in August. I really need to get my act together if either of those are going to happen. I'd LOVE to find a group or something. It is so much more fun/easier to keep up with workouts if there is someone(s) waiting for you to show up.

*Last week I went to Seattle to sign my lease and meet the movers. Lease signed-- movers moving stuff in-- all going according to plan... UNTIL-- we're wrapping things up, signing the eight thousand papers. The 'head guy' of the three, who told me he is from Israel, I'm guessing around 40 years old, completely bald, greying goatee, thick accent looks at me and says "Vell I come back every 2/3 weeks. We get together then?" I am thrown into confusion-- they just moved every possession I have, what more could he want to move? So, I asked "to move stuff?" He chuckled and said "No... for.. personal. Thees ees okay?" My eyes BUGGED out and I could barely contain my hysterical laughter as I said "NO." And he replied "ooh, no? Why thees ees?" Still trying/failing at holding in my laughter I gasped something about not being interested because I was already in a relationship. White lie, what can ya do. So he shrugged his shoulders and left. I closed (and locked) the door behind him and thought "DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!" Why is it that outrageous things happen to me when no one is around to bear witness? Crazy-- the most male attention I've gotten in... too long is from a 40 year old Israeli man. Great.

*Thanksgiving is Thursday, I officially move to the Emerald City early Friday. Nauseous.

*I still don't have a couch and don't have any promising prospects of getting one. Nauseous-er.

*My dad went with me to Seattle last weekend to set up furniture and do a lot of stuff requiring power tools. When we were searching for a cheap furniture shop (unsuccessfully), we were coming to a screeching halt at the bottom of a particularly steep hill. After we determined we were clear to turn right and started going, we heard a loud noise and both said "What was that?!" I looked in side mirror to the intersection where we'd turned from and saw a man on his moped on the ground! Horrified, we pulled over and went to see if he was okay. Fortunately he was-- he just wasn't able to stop at the bottom of the hill (because it was wet..? dude-- it's Seattle and there are a lot of hills-- check those brakes, son). But he was totally fine, bike had a broken light though. No damage to our car so we parted ways, no drama. As we pulled away I kicked myself-- we should have gotten is info because he was very attractive!!! Who knows, maybe my soulmate IS in Seattle afterall.

Photos-- enjoy!
After a long day of driving, we (my dad) put the table together and then nourished ourselves!!

After re-energizing, we tackled the shelves...

The finished product!

The muscles (and brains) behind the operation...

My list is getting shorter which pleases me. Still a long way to go, but progress IS being made.

These signs are everywhere in Seattle. Love it!

slowly but surely

2009-11-19T10:26:00.001-06:00

Updates

2009-11-13T20:18:00.003-06:00

-I like my new car even though the gas mileage is nauseating.
-I am going to sign a lease on Monday morning, movers will come on Tuesday.
-My government loan pay-back people accidentally took out an extra 500 bones from my bank account this month. They kindly sent me an email saying it will be put back, but that it won't happen before November 16th, and it may be even longer. Of all times, people!!!
-While everything will be in Seattle by Tuesday, I want to stay home for as long as possible.
-I need to find a way to make some money for this interim period. I'm really starting to wish I'd pushed harder for relocation assistance.
-I have a VERY long list of thing I need-- most concerning to me is a couch. Even if I find one that is reasonably priced (...free? jk..kinda), the logistical part-- retrieving it gets hairy. My car won't hold a real sized couch and I don't want to have a dorm-room-esque living room and stick a futon in it. Ugh. If I get one delivered it will be heinously expensive, renting a UHaul isn't an option because they're ridiculously expensive, too-- even if they advertise as $19.99/day, that's BEFORE taxes, gas, insurance, blah blah blah. I have a feeling it will be several months before I solve that little debaucle.

Things are moving along. I have spent almost all of the money I've saved over the past year and that is insanely overwhelming and makes me sick. But it's all towards something good and all that jazz. Ugh.

-I haven't forgotten about triathlon-ing. There is a half ironman in Lake Steven, WA in August (I think) that I am seriously considering. I was about to register for it but then saw the registration fee and decided it can wait. Boo.

...I want a money tree for Christmas.

"A cute car for a cute girl..." CREEPER

2009-11-09T00:26:00.003-06:00

While this is a ridiculously exciting time in my life, it is almost equally stressful.
I saw EIGHT apartments last Thursday and came home on Friday with no idea of which one I should live in. Several of them had things I loved, but none had everything I wanted for the right price. I think I've finally decided... I went to fax the application today, but I'd written the number down incorrectly. Is that a sign? Ugh. When all is said and done I will gush about all its features.

I've also been perusing Craigslist fanatically for a vehicle. I'd decided I wanted a Rav4 so that I can take my bike places without worrying it will fall off a bike rack, and so that if I ever DO pursue travel nursing, my car will be able to carry my belongings from city to city. Yesterday my dad and I drove all the way to Forest Grove to look at the perfect car: 2001 Rav4 Blue. There's a lot of other details I could spew out but the fact of the matter is that it looked the way i wanted and was priced within my budget. I'd called on Friday to make sure it was still there (and it was), but by the time we arrived on Saturday morning, it'd been sold. I was so disappointed. Not only did we hoof an hour and a half to get there, but it also decided to MONSOON all day! Thunder, hail, RIDICULOUS rainfall. So we came home, defeated and wet and resolved to try again another day. I'd given up-- maybe I didn't need a car.. maybe I should bike for life. But, I saw another opportunity on Craigslist this morning. I left a voicemail at the number listed and refused to get excited about it. The guy actually called back about an hour later and said he'd go in to the office today (apparently they're closed on Sundays). So we test drove a 1999 Rav4 and despite a funny sound that is apparently nothing (eek), it was great. Given-- it used to be a farm vehicle so there is a ridiculous amount of HAY under the seats... but it runs really well and the previous owner kept every receipt for any service it had done.. and it's good. So we went in to 'make a deal' and as I was sitting down the salesman says "So... a cute car for a cute girl..." Keep in mind that my dad has been with me the WHOLE time. I introduced him "this is my dad, Joe." I muttered something about liking the car for its space rather than its cute factor but that tipped the WEIRD scale beyond return. He later decided to voice his opinion about how marijuana should be legalized. Gotta love Eugene. Anyway, we negotiated... my dad and I used our secret code... and I came home with a car. !!! I am a car owner. AHHH. Yes-- I am significantly poorer than I was this morning.. but I'm excited. Now I need to get insurance... and I need to get this thing detailed or CLEANED a lot.. there's HAY for goodness sake!

It feels good to make some progress toward my future. Apartment and car were the two big things on my list.. then furniture. Ick. FURNITURE IS SO EXPENSIVE! But I have one hurdle cleared and am closing on the second one. Slowly but surely things are happening. =)

AND I got a quickpass membership to my home gym and I love it more and more every time I go!

Finally

2009-11-04T17:00:00.004-06:00

My final two weeks in Chicago felt like two more years. Ridiculous.

However, I made it back to the west (best) coast-- finally.
I'm staying with my parents until I find an apartment in Seattle. Tonight I'm going up to Portland-ish to stay with a friend from high school. Tomorrow morning circa 4am, I'll leave for the Emerald City. Thursday will be ridiculously busy and I'm sure stressful.

8:30: New Hire appointment at my new place of employment
10:00am: Apartment Viewing
11:00am: Apartment Viewing
1:00pm: Apartment Viewing
2:00pm: Apartment Viewing
3:00pm: Apartment Viewing
5:00pm: Apartment Viewing
8:15pm: Apartment Viewing

Phew! I'm exhausted thinking about it. I'm grateful for a friend from college who now lives in Seattle that will let me crash on her couch Thursday night. My main concern is getting from apartment to apartment in time. They're all fairly close to each other... but still, traffic and life will get undoubtedly play a role. I'm also disappointed because I don't have a buddy to come with me! Everyone is working or busy... apparently Thursdays are busy. Pshhh. I'm notorious for being indecisive... and then changing my mind once I do get around to making a decision. I want someone there that will be able to say "You're crazy" or "Hell no!" or just point out to me what I'm overlooking. I guess it's time to grow up. Yikes.

I am so excited to be home.

2009-10-27T05:31:00.000-05:00

Update: the time is dragging oh SO SLOWLY.

Torn

2009-10-22T23:34:00.003-05:00

There are like twelve days until I say "Peace out, Chicago," and run enthusiastically back into the arms of the West Coast.

I'm torn.

One part of me is ready to go right NOW. Honestly-- I'm done packing (I'm living out of a suitcase), and all of my thoughts are on finding an apartment in Seattle. I can't do that until I'm there. So I want to go NOW. I want to see where I will be living and just start getting settled. I want to go to my place of work, hand in my paperwork and get my ID badge picture taken. I want to ride my bike there to gauge what time I'll have to leave before my shift. I want to find a GYM close by. I want to find the nearest cheap grocery store, the closest Costco, and the Starbucks. I want to figure out the public transportation system and get involved with something-- whether it be coaching soccer or doing something triathlon related. Menatlly, I am already in Seattle, but have to wait twelve more days before I can physically be back on the west/best coast.

The other part of me is realizing how much I like my job here. Given-- once it was publicized that I am leaving, some aspects have taken an ugly turn. Despite stupid scheduling and petty issues, I have come to feel a part of the community of my floor and workplace. I trust my colleagues and I think they're slowly starting to trust me. I know the phone numbers, I know who the attendings are and what residents are on what service. I have my favorite patients and finally know how to get to x-ray without getting lost (...it took awhile). In the past couple of months, things have started to gel a little bit, and now I'm leaving. Don't get me wrong-- each day is something new and for everything I know, there are at least four things I am still trying to wrap my head around. Recently I have seen that indeed I have been making progress and all the stress and anxiety over the year has not been in vain. I genuinely enjoy my job and feel very fortunate and blessed to be able to truthfully make that claim. And I am scared spitless to walk away from it.
As much as I bellyache about Chicago, I know it. Well-- I know how to survive in it for the most part. I know what roads are good to bike on and what roads will get you killed or worse-- doored. I know not to ride on the LakeShore trail during rush hour because it's worse than driving traffic. I have my three grocery stores within a two mile radius where I can get everything I need for a reasonable deal. I know how the El works and am increasingly confident in busses. I have people that I know here and while we may not be best of friends, I KNOW them and they know me. I can go back to North Park and see a handful of friends within seconds of stepping on campus. I am connected in the community and I like that. I have proven to myself that I can survive independently in a big and unknown city, and it was hard! As much as I am looking forward to avoid a six month winter, I am feeling slight twinges of nostalgia for the past five years I've been here.

So I can only hope. Hope that the inevitable stress and anxiety of starting new in Seattle will bear the same, if not better fruit. Hope that I don't mind the rain a lot and that Seattle won't have another freak winter. Hope that biking is the practical option everyone says it will be. Hope that I will be welcomed in my new workplace. Hope that the rotating position opens up in the promised amount of time. Hope that the increased rent doesn't suck me dry and extend my loan repayment period. Hope that I make new friends and grow a social life. Hope that I find a gym that is close to home and close to work, is open 24 hours, reasonably priced, and has a nice pool and good spinning classes. Hope that I find an apartment that fits me and my insane amount of boxes with free laundry. Hope that it works out with few and far between meltdowns.

Only time will tell, and these last twelve days will either fly by or drag on. We'll see!

A+

2009-10-20T06:05:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I booked the movers.
Last night I had a dream that they ripped me off.

It is one of my more sincere hopes that this place lives up to their A+ rating by the Better Business Bureau.

After I got off the phone with the very helpful moving-lady, I realized there are only twelve days before movers show up at my front door. So I made significant packing progress. Still nowhere near done, but much farther along.

I only have six more days of work left. That's craaazy.

brr

2009-10-16T14:04:00.003-05:00

I am SO COLD.
The warmth wouldn't hang around for me. It's been cold and rainy for the past week or so. I can't help but think "this is what I'm moving TO?!" but then I remember that it will stay like this instead of dropping to ungodly low temperature and snow will be rare. It better be, anyways.

My last day of work theoretically is November 1st. They put me on the next three weekends in a row, and 'asked' me to work nights the 31st and the 1st. I'm a little (a lot) irritated by this and trying to get that worked out.

I have set up a storage place in Seattle. I will have movers take my stuff there, and then when I find an apartment my beloved family will help me move in.

I've been sucked into perusing Craigs List for apartments. I've found a couple that I really like and have set up viewings. I am still paralyzed by the rent, though. It's disgusting.

All this time trying to figure out the logistics of this moving shenanigan has left me little time/motivation to workout. This is bad. I need to get moooving again.

SO COLD!

One Way

2009-10-14T07:21:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I bought my first one way plane ticket. I will fly back to Oregon November 3rd. My final few days in Chicago look like they'll be a little bit INSANE:

October 31st: work all day
November 1st: work all day (this will get me benefits through all of November)
November 2nd: movers
November 3rd: flight home at 8:30am.

I am so excited for this to all happen. Truthfully, I wish I could fast forward through all the stressful logistical stuff, but know I can't so whatever. I am holding on (desperately) to the fact that it will be worth it when all is said and done. To be closer to my family and out of this subzero climate will be so fantastic.

I'm still focusing on packing which is a much lower process than I'd like it to be... and I'm trying to find movers that won't screw me over. I hope to go up to Seattle on the 4th or 5th to start apartment hunting in order to give said movers a destination sooner than later. I'll probably end up having them move everything into storage then end up recruiting my beloved family to help me actually move into an apartment.

It is all very exciting. And very expensive. Let's not talk about that part, it gives me heart palpitations.

LIMBO NO MORE

2009-10-11T21:26:00.004-05:00

I received a call a few days ago from my future boss asking if I was still interested in the job I interviewed for in SEATTLE. I said "YES. VERY MUCH." (trying-- and failing miserably-- to not sound overly desperate).
On November 30th I will start working at Seattle Children's Hospital on the 4th floor Surgical Unit. I cannot even begin to tell you how elated I am and I swear I was grinning for three straight days-- ear to ear.
Needless to say there is a LOT to be done. To be very honest I am ridiculously overwhelmed by the ginormity of my to-do list. The fact that this cross country move is going to cost so much is the real clincher. In order for my new work place to provide relocation assistance, one has to have two years of experience, and I have just over one year. This is very upsetting, but I'm trying to not let it ruin my sheer joy. However, moving will take a major chunk out of my 'life savings' and, I'm probably going to be getting a car once I get back to Oregon (to avoid sales tax). Those two things, combined with trying to furnish a new apartment (I currently only own bedroom stuff) in a city where it looks like rent will be about $200 more a month than I'm paying now, and don't forget that one's savings should be enough to sustain them for six months of living without any income (thank you Suze Orman).... my frugal nature is absolutely being threatened to the max. And it is making me nutty... and rather beyotchy.

But I'm moving to Seattle and I cannot WAIT.

Limboooo

2009-10-05T09:59:00.003-05:00

I have never been fond of limbo. If it were a limbo where I knew what the next phase would be and exactly when and where it would start, I could embrace that limbo. But this limbo is far less detailed than I can appreciate.
In 26 days I have to be moved out. Where am I going? GREAT QUESTION. Everything depends on one decision that is taking its sweet sweet time being made. It is near impossible to secure a plan B for if my ideal situation doesn't pan out. I don't want to get a new apartment because I don't want to sign a one year lease. Month to month leases are few and far between, especially when winter is approaching. No landlord wants to try and rent out his/her place when it's bitter cold and snowing. If there is a month to month it is uber sketch and more of a last-resort to take to avoid under-bridge dwelling. So I am slightly stressed out about the whole 'where will I be living in four weeks from now' debaucle.
I am currently trying to focus on purging my life of unnecessary THINGS. Clothes and shoes especially. It can't be normal to have THREE drawers in one dresser solely dedicated to t-shirts. I may have a problem. And, is it bad that I want to keep my planners from (gulp) even high school...? I love looking through them and remembering all the fun that was had... but they take up a lot of room. So does all of my school work/books from college... Am I really a pack-rat?!?! Aye carumba. I have had times where I've done a good job at just getting rid of things that I wasn't using regularly.. and it seems like no matter what it is, a couple of days after it's disposal, I genuinely need whatever the thing was! Okay-- it's officially a problem.
"A couple of weeks" is SO vague. C'mon, I thought we were all type A! Give me a date, a time.. something objective to hold onto.
It is not surprising to me that I heard this whisper in my ear at work yesterday: "I heard a rumor... is it true?" I have come to genuinely enjoy my coworkers and will miss them if my ideal situation DOES work... but man, working with a majority of women (we have ONE male nurse on our floor.. out of.. a lot) makes it hard to keep anything on the down low. Makes me glad I had the discussion with my supervisor before I left. Shoot.
In any regard, I am experiencing chest pain. If this whole shenanigan gives me a heart attack I will be rather fed up. I don't think it's a myocardial infarction though.. I went to sleep with some wicked hiccups... maybe they're the culprit.

Recap

2009-10-02T11:31:00.008-05:00

Well, I'm back in Chicago and freezing! Apparently fall came stumbling in while I was gone, totally ruining my belief that the true 'Chicago summer' would come in September and October, since it never really showed up before then. So it's in the 50s and it's raining off and on. Brr. I had such an excellent trip home. To try and avoid a ridiculously long and wordy post, quick recap:
Saturday: arrived home
Sunday: recovered from lack of sleep
Monday: Hiking with Courtney (see previous post)
Tuesday: Beach with mom and grandma (see previous post)
Wednesday: lazy day!
Thursday: Hiking with dad to Marion Lake
Friday: lazy day!
Saturday: Hiking with Charissa and Stacey
Sunday Funday: Family gathering!
Monday: to Seattle!
Tuesday: begging for my future/ back to Oregon
Wednesday: Back to Chicago

PHEW! I got back to the windy city and trekked back to my apartment via the El. I finally walked in the door around 9:45pm. I putzed around for a little bit then hit the hay only to wake up well before dawn and go to work on Thursday morning. Waste no time, apparently. Work was okay yesterday. I did get an admission pretty late in the day which is always... exciting, but I made it home and have today to catch my breath before working the weekend. I'm not thrilled to be back in the city, and I am super impatient to learn whether or not I will get to relocate soon. In "a couple of weeks" I should know, but I WANT TO KNOW NOW. I have a one month grace period in my apartment. Technically our lease was up yesterday. My roommates will be staying, and someone is coming to take my spot on Wednesday. When I explained that my future isn't developing as quickly as I'd anticipated, they graciously agreed to let me stay through October. So I'd really like to know if I can anticipate a big move now in order to prepare with as little stress as possible (yea right). Oh well-- patience is a virtue... what a great opportunity to develop mine. Hmph.
Below find some more pictures of my super fantastic vacay to OREGON-- aka God's country.

Hiking with my dad-- Three Finger Jack in the view

My dad couldn't get enough of the "fall foliage"

We found another hiker to take our picture

Hiking with Charissa and Stacey-- we found waterfalls!

And of course had to walk through them!

Despite the jolly nature of this group photo-- it was quite a death defying situation.

Super fun family gathering with an impromptu soccer game. I look forward to the rematch.

Plane ride back... this is why I belong on the West Coast.

Oregon FUN

2009-09-23T11:44:00.008-05:00

Oregon is ridiculously wonderful.
I got off work at 7:45ish Saturday morning. I went back to my apartment and did some last minute packing, then headed to Midway via the El. Oooh the El. I was fighting to stay awake during the two hour trek and miraculously made it. I had a layover in Kansas City (which, for the record, is the WORST airport ever), and finally arrived to Portland around 6pm (pacific time.. so 8pm Chicago time) Saturday evening. I was exhausted and starving, but so happy to be home. Since arriving I've been soaking up this great state as much as possible.
On Sunday I went running outside which was so nice but so terrible. Holy hills! My legs definitely felt the burn, but there's nothing like (slowly) approaching the peak of a hill and seeing the mountains and the entire amazing view. For a small fraction of a second you almost forget that you can't breathe and that every muscle in your body is screaming bloody murder. Monday I signed up for a week membership to the gym and have been LOVING it.
Also on Monday I went hiking with my good friend, Courtney. She knew of a place, Shellburg Falls, that is gorgeous and uncrowded. We saw some beautiful waterfalls that I had no idea existed, and then I had the brilliant idea that we should go off the trail to get to the top of a crazy huge and steep hill to see if there was 'anything exciting up there.' Hiking rule #1: don't go off the trail. We stupidly decided to go for it, and waded through masses blackberries, sticker bushes and the remnants of logging (..sticks) all on an incline that must have been 89ish degrees. Blood, sweat, and close tears resulted-- but we made it to the top. The excitement that met us was a RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS view of the mountains. We could even see the coastal range! After we made it to the top we concluded that there was no way we'd go back down the same route, so we searched for something else. There wasn't a lot, but we went through some forest and tried to avoid the blackberries. I still have several thorns stuck in my hands. It was a lot of
fun to be outside in such gorgeous weather and to hang out with a good friend!

One of the small rivers leading to a waterfall

Behind a Silver-Creek-Falls-esque waterfall

My bright idea

At the top-- barely!

A sad attempt to capture the view-- this pic doesn't do justice

Yesterday (Tuesday), I went to the beach with my mom and grandma. Those two can sure

cause trouble. Not really, but we all have some imp to our nature. I love the ocean a LOT and it was roaring and awesome. The weather at the beach was really unusual-- warm and sunny! I'm accustomed to bringing a hoodie and sweatpants to the beach, no matter what the season. I couldn't have asked for better weather or better company. It was a fun way to spend the day.

I will never get tired of the Oregon Beach!

This 'walking stick' may have turned into a weapon.. more than once.

homebound

2009-09-16T16:31:00.003-05:00

I'm going home on Saturday and I can't waaait. Hopefully some exciting things will go down in regards to my future-- but that seems to be quite the roller coaster, so I refuse to hold my breath. However any plans made for the home front are rather dependent on potential future excitement... so I just want to know, people! If I have my way I will definitely hit the beach and go hiking-- I seriously miss naaature.
Needless to say I have quite a few things to achieve before I leave. This is complicated by the fact that I work Thursday night and Friday night and will probably head straight from work to the airport. I booked my ticket completely aware of my work schedule, so I m not complaining, just stating the situation. So tonight my goal is to fold all my laundry (there's a lot of it, folks) and get it put away so that packing will be a breeze (pah!). I'll probably end up packing tomorrow.. since when I get home Friday morning (from work Thursday night) I will be useless and to drag myself out of bed early on Friday afternoon is not a safe bet.
Regardless of how frantic the preparation might get, I am so excited to go home. It has been far too long. While I've enjoyed summer (ish) in the city, I can't help but feel smothered here and can't wait to take a deep breath of fresh air.
Another perk: I took ten days of vacation time during my night shift rotation. Muahahaha! AND I got switched back to days for October (I was supposed to be on nights September and October), so really I only have two night shifts left! Praise the Lord! Miracles happen!!!

I can't move

2009-09-14T23:01:00.003-05:00

Today is a very sore day. I cannot move. I was worthless while coaching. I feel like a rusty tin-woman... Squeaking and creaking along. Owwie.

Side note: When biking, if you hear "On your left!" that is code for "move over, clown!" I am so sick of people who ignorantly ride their bikes in the middle of the very crowded bike path! Who do they think they are?! The bike path is very dangerous-- more dangerous than the road in my opinion, and it irritates me when some herb just farts along at a sickly slow pace right in the middle. Honestly-- you should need a license to ride on paths. Equally as annoying is when people ride side by side. I understand sometimes you go on a bike ride with that special someone and want to talk during it. Fine, but when you hear "On your left!" MOVE OVER. For three seconds go back to single file biking, let the person pass, then continue whispering sweet nothings as you ride. C'mon people!

Lesson Learned?

2009-09-13T16:58:00.004-05:00

Well I sure as hell hope so.
Today was the Chicago Half Marathon that I whimsically signed up for because I had a coupon. Despite the fact I registered several months in advance, I did not train for this. Sure I would workout here and there to try to prepare for the triathlon, but up until two weeks ago, these 13.1 miles were the last thing on my mind, and unfortunately it would take far more than two weeks to prepare me for this race.

This was my 4th half marathon. For the first two, I trained fairly appropriately (gradually increasing mileage to slowly build, etc). The third one is what broke my foot. One might think that would have been enough to teach me about proper preparation, but apparently not. Even with #3, I trained a little bit. This time-- nothin. Last Sunday I considered trying to run 13 miles to make sure I could-- but then remembered that's the course I took with #3 and decided against it. So the week preceding today, I ran more frequently and quickly than I have in one week in quite awhile-- it was actually nice. I couldn't get past the fact, though, that the mileage I was logging was not even CLOSE to the distance of the pending race.

The night before I prayed for food poisoning, temporary shut down of public transportation (that would prevent me from getting to the location of the race), any small containable disaster that would be a legit reason for me to sit this one out. Because lack of training is surely NOT a legit excuse. However, my prayers were denied so this morning I ventured down to the very south side of the city not knowing what to expect. I've never showed up at a race so unprepared. It wouldn't have been far fetched for me to not finish. Disappointing and mortifying? Yes. Very possible? Yes. My nerves atwitter I lined up at the start line.

Well it really was a good race: well organized, properly supplied with fluids, really nice weather (warm and humid-- but that's appropriate in this region this time of year.. can't complain)... So that makes me kick myself more for not preparing myself for 13 miles! My, how I would have enjoyed it if I was in shape! However-- painfully out of shape better describes my state of being therefore it was terrrrrrrriiiibblllllee.

I coached soccer late Saturday afternoon and got to play in their scrimmage because we were short on numbers. Whenever I play soccer my knees hurt a lot. Ridiculously a lot, even if it's with high school girls who have a thing or two to learn about the game. In the first mile of my epic journey this morning my knees (the right one in particular) made it known that it was NOT ready to embrace activity yet. Too bad, goose. So by mile two I was limping along at an overly leisurely pace. Each mile was marked very clearly with a clock that I was grateful for. I made sure I was going at least a 9 minute mile and I was shocked that it lasted until Mile 12 (shoot, I was shocked that I lasted until Mile 12). I skipped the water stops until Mile 5-- I had no time to waste. But then I got really thirsty and my calves were threatening cramping which is not conducive to good things. So from then on I paused at each fluid station and awkwardly drank Gatorade whilst running. This just means that Gatorade ended up all over my face and shirt and if I was lucky some got in my mouth. If I didn't swallow Gatorade, I sure swallowed air and belched my way to the next fluid station. I pity the runners around me. At Mile 11 I was sooo hot! It was only high 70s but the humidity was high and the sun was beating down on us as we pounded down Lakeshore Drive. So I decided to skip Gatorade and use a cup of water to pour on my head. I got wetter than I anticipated but it was refreshing nonetheless. I sloshed along grimacing the whole way. My knee was killing me. I was soaking wet-- both with sweat and water. My shirt was causing some chafing in my right armpit and it was (and still is) rather uncomfortable. The 12th miles always sucks. So close, but SO FAR! The sides of the course were well lined with supporters. Generally I like cheer-ers because they provide a good distraction. Today I was annoyed that SO many people were bearing witness to my worst showing ever at an athletic event. Even worse-- each runner had their name printed on their race numbers. So the cheering crowd wasn't saying "Woo! Go! Yea!" they were saying "Go KRISTIN!" Given-- in any other situation I welcome cheering! But today I didn't want to be seen much less identified.
After what seemed like eternity, I finally finished and just wanted to pass out. I was so exhausted. I was really taken aback that I actually finished. I had every reason to quit and secretly expected myself to drop out. Even during the race I thought 'maybe I will just faint right now.' But by the grace of God Almighty I chugged along to the end. Bewildering. My time is not worthy of posting, but I will find some solace in the fact that I finished.

I made the hour and a half trek home: one bus and two trains. Ridiculous. On the bus I was half passed out and staring off into oblivion and some peppy girl (PG) in spandex decided to start up a convo:
PG: HOW WAS YOUR RACE?!
Me: It was okay.
PG: Why so glum?
Me: (confusion related pause) I'm not glum, I'm tired.
PG: Oh. You're upset about the race?
Me: Well.. yea I didn't train, but I'm genuinely TIRED.
PG: Oh, so this was your first half marathon?
Me: No, 4th.
PG: OOOOoooohh. Well what was your time?
Me: Just under (enter my approximate time here)
PG: But what was it exactly
Me: ...I don't know.
PG: But there was a Results tent you could look it up at.
Me: I know-- I didn't want to wait in line.
PG: (confusion related pause) Oh. Well I did really great and I'm not even a runner I just started running ten months ago and I did sooo well and I'm just so happy because I did so great and it was my first half marathon and I did awesome!
Me: ..Congratulations. (believe it or not the first congratulations was genuine)
PG: ON AND ON ABOUT HOW AWESOME SHE IS
Me: Good Job... congratulations... awesome... well done. EXIT BUS.

It was SUCH an odd encounter. While it is ridiculously exciting to do well, I have never seen someone so spirited about tooting her own horn! That's a lie, I know some pretty cocky people, but this clown caught me off guard.

Anyways, I'm home and I feel sick. There's something GI related going on and my legs are pretty useless.

Next time I threaten to not train, remind me of this shenanigan (except you, mom and dad).

*photo courtesy of someone's facebook album

..oh yea..

2009-09-04T11:39:00.003-05:00

Truthfully, I didn't forget. The first thing I consciously thought of as I crossed the finish line at last week's triathlon was 'Now on to the half marathon...' However, after a leisurely swim on Monday and starting the night shift (I could-- and might-- go into how terrible this is) on Tuesday, I haven't had a lot of time (or desire) to focus on the approaching race.

I have mixed feelings:

-It's a race-- a competition-- so of course I want to do well.
-It's a running race, so I won't do well.
-There's really nothing I can do at this point (nine days away) to make my chances any better
-...etc.

Ugh who knows. A couple of days ago, I received an informational email about the race. Towards the very end, the race regulations were listed. I stumbled upon this one and started flipping out:
RACE REGULATIONS
Participants will:
� not be allowed to wear headphones.
NO WAY! I can understand this for a triathlon-- swimming with headphones-- not good. Biking with headphones-- not safe. But running with headphones?! COME ON PEOPLE. Admittedly, I'd been warned that this anti headphone movement was coming. Last year at a Team in Training seminar (Triathlon 101) I learned about the no headphones rule for triathlons, and it was mentioned that running races were moving this way, too. I thought 'Psh, that's bogus!' and thought little of it. But apparently it's true. I have a genuine appreciation for rules as they create structure and safety. But honestly, I am planning on breaking this one because if I have ANY chance of finishing this race, headphones will be as necessary as shoes.

An article recently found its way to my inbox that addressed how to be faster (running and biking). "Offseason Intervention: Train Fast to Race Fast" profoundly stated in order to race faster you have to train faster. ..duh. If only it were that simple. Regardless of its '2+2=4' logic, it was interesting and explained physiology behind its concepts which I really appreciate.

..as promised: I hate the night shift SO stinkin' much I can't even handle it! I may have been quite the Pouty-Polly my first night back (Tuesday). I was greeted on Wednesday night by the scheduling-lady saying "You're off nights for October." She says I was 'next on the list' but I am quite curious if my less than awesome attitude played a role in this decision. I hate it when bad attitudes get the Negative Nancies of the world what they want, but this time I will be insanely grateful. Whether it was my crankiness or not-- I am so glad to only have to do this night shift charade for one month instead of two.

Chi Tri '09

2009-08-31T09:44:00.018-05:00

Packet Pick Up:
Uneventful which is refreshing. My friend gave me a ride which was much appreciated-- taking the El becomes quite the hike. Got my packet, (lame) t-shirt, purple swim cap (second purple one-- not my fav), allowed a stranger to take a FAT permanent marker to all of my limbs, vomited at the course talk, perused the expo, took advantage of a sale and left. Nothing too terrible.

Preparation:
I recently got a 'bike computer' because it was on clearance for $10 which is a steal compared to the ones that go for hundreds of dollars elsewhere. Since the reviews of this device were pretty positive, I decided to get it. Of course I waited until the night before the race to install it which was much more difficult than I anticipated. When I was in third grade math I never thought I'd actually NEED to remember the equation for how to determine the circumference of a circle. Lo and behold the wheel circumference has to be programmed into this thing in order for it to be accurate. After measuring eight THOUSAND times and submitting to the fact that I don't know how to use a tape measure much less a mathematical equation, I decided to trust my gut (and my dad) and go with 27. Got it programmed and set up, only to realize I attached to computer 'mount' upside down. I need to get new zip ties before I can turn it right side up. So I definitely raced with it upside down. 16mph... 91mph... same thing. HA. What a doof. The rest of packing was uneventful aside from the large ulcer that continued to grow. I went to bed at 7:30 and fell asleep around 11:30. Ridiculous.

Race Morning:
Woke up at 2am with little effort due to extreme anxiety. After a breakfast of champions (oatmeal!) did some last minute packing and panicking and headed out. My friend and I planned to meet at the Lakeshore trail and bike down to avoid major parking fees and mayhem. On our way, we couldn't help but notice the lake-- it was rampant and DEFINITLY resembled The Perfect Storm. I know I have a habit for being dramatic, but this is very factual. I tried to look up some hard proof but failed. The WAVES were splashing all the way up on to the shore-- I have NEVER seen that happen. Not like 'oh, some mist dampened the path' but more along the lines of 'HOLY BUCKETS that wave just swallowed that pedestrian!' Fortunately it was still of the 3am hour so no pedestrians were ingested by the rage of Lake Michigan, but I was VERY nervous to continue on the path and resorted to biking like crazy to get to transition. We barely made it. I was half expecting to see signs: "RACE CANCELLED DUE TO TSUNAMI LIKE CONDITIONS" but all I saw was masses of people flooding into the mini-city of transition. I was certain death was a very real possibility.
I got my spot set up, furrowed my brow at some crazy people, vomited at the professional people, walked the in's and out's then got the heck out of there. I didn't even pause to snap a photo-- too many people!!
Then the wait. I was in wave 29 of 57. The first wave left at 6am then every 4 minutes after that, meaning I took off at 8:08. Two hours to let my anxiety fester. My friend's wave (50/57) didn't leave until 9:30ish so I will consider myself lucky in comparison. The weather was slightly ridiculous. I was FREEZING! The water was 64 degrees-- not warm, but warmer than the 58 at the Worst-Triathlon-Ever back in July. The air temperature was in the upper 50s. Gaaaah! I wore my swimsuit, triathlon shorts, my really flattering triathlon top, under armor (which I had to UNPACK from a box!!!), and a coat. I brought sweatpants anticipating a chill or two, not hypothermia. Honestly, the cold was the worst part of the wait. At 6:55 I planned to go to the porta potty, remebering the heinously long lines last year. By the time I got back to the swim start at 7:30, it was time to line up! AHHHHHH.

*How my friend waited for her start

*Ridiculously long lines for the port-a-potties

Swim:
I expected the worst and was pleasantly surprised with the start. Don't get me wrong it was chaotic and violent, but it seemed to die down much quicker than normal. Maybe I surrenered earlier than normal, haha. It went okay until some MANIAC came barreling from behind me and in passing ripped my goggles OFF MY FACE. That pissed me off. Losing my goggles is close to close to my biggest fear about the swim (minus drowning). I had to stop-- tread water GRAB my eye protection before they SUNK to the mysterious and disgusting bottom, shake the water out of them and then reaffix them to my cranium. UGH. I couldn't help but think 'You're lucky I'm wearing waterproof mascara!" I got appropriately angry and tried to use it to swim faster but my time suggests that I did not swim faster, but since I don't focus on numbers anymore it doesn't (shouldn't) matter. I will blame my slower swim time on the goggle incident. The thing about that is: the swim time INCLUDES the >0.25mile jog from the beach to transition.. When I looked at my watch as I stumbled out of the water (the helper-people said 'Ma'am take off your goggles so you can see!' I'm sorry if I want to focus on STANDING first, c'mon!) it said that I'd gone a MINUTE faster than my time last year, and then the posted time is two minutes slower than my trustee watch time, and one minute slower than last year. Ahhhh! All the more reason to not focus on that jazz.

BIKE
Holy wind. Same as last year-- a two loop course up Lakeshore Drive (two lanes open to vehicular traffic, two closed (the two closest to the median no less) for the bikers-- I may have feared for my life for the second time that morning). The wind while going North was ridiculous and I spent most of my time in crazy easy gears... inching along. Once we turned to go south, it was glorious. I still can't figure out how to go faster on the downhills and it is getting irritating. I pass people on the climbs then get smoked on the downhill. And yes-- there were climbs that were dramatically increased by the wind. Around the turn for the second lap, the wind hit like a brick wall. I hate that I can't control the weather! Bike time was disappointing-- I'd secretly hoped for like 30 minutes faster than last year since I have a legit bike-- but alas, it was a mere 8 minutes faster! The wind was SOOO much more intense this year. That will be my justification.

RUN
The run was better than I thought it would be. I've really made running into this big bad unconquerable thing in my mind. While it still holds that status, this run wasn't quite as terrible as I'd psyched myself out for. Within the first mile I heard someone cheer 'You're almost there!' To which I retorted in between gasps "NO WE ARE NOT WE HAVE SIX MILES TO RUN THAT IS NOT ALMOST ANYTHING!" A girl running next to me said "I hate it when people tell me I'm almost 'there!'" We ran side by side for awhile then she got ambitious and pulled ahead. I could see her the whole time and told myself I had to stay with her. She slowed down between mile 2 and 3. Then I passed her between 3 and 4. The rest of the run I thought "I have to keep going or she'll pass me!" I got Gatorade at the 5th mile and then she popped up right beside me and scared the daylights out of me. I used that adrenaline to get pull ahead and get to mile 6. That last 0.2 miles is so killer. I was sure I'd smoked this girl and she was far behind me and then all of the sudden with the finish line in earshot, she goes by me 'kicking it in.' Dammit! So I looked at my feet and thought "FASTER!" About three second later they started making an awkward effort to go faster and I passed her and finally crossed the finish line.

Aftermath:
I saw that girl down the finish chute and told her that she kept me going the whole time (in a 'thank you' manner) and she looked at me like I was a loon. Whatever. I got my medal (everyone gets one), and my bagel (whole bagels here, but just cups of water/Gatorade..) and meandered down the street in a lemming like fashion. I get so disoriented during downtown races, I had no idea where I was going. I followed until I recognized how to get to the swim gear check, got my stuff, cheered for some runners until I saw my friend run by, then made the trek back to transition. The wind was still blowing and I got VERY cold very quickly! I'm always appalled at how transition looks as if a tornado has blown through it after the race! I gathered my stuff super slowly, put my coat back on, and went back to the finish line to wait for my friend. Apparently, I took my sweet time because as she was walking out of the festival after the finish chute, I was just getting there. We went back to swim gear check, got her stuff there, walked all the way back to transition and then made the genius decision to ride our bikes back instead of taking the El. I'm always up for saving $2.25, but lordy lordy. I have not come to love the rigid little bike seat on my speedy steed and after an already grueling bike leg I wasn't thrilled to re-board. With my crazy heavy soccer backpack and super stiff legs I pedaled back sooo slow on a suuuper easy gear. The ride back was not fun AND I came SO close to getting doored! If that would have happened, I surely would have flipped. I finally got home, looking and feeling absolutely BEAT, and sat down, then woke up an hour later. Pooped, stiff, and sunburned.

All in all-- good day. Went fairly smoothly with the expected unexpected snags. I finished and I didn't die so that has to equal a success, right? Now I'm trying to regain full motion in all of my limbs.. and I feel feverish because I'm sunburned. While I definitely wish I wouldn't have been so lazy in training, I am still glad I participated (definitely had about an hour of 'maybe I will stay home' mentality the day before the race). And I will look forward to doing this race again in the future.

Race Weekend (GULP)

2009-08-29T13:04:00.007-05:00

There is a very clear pattern to my mentality in the realm of triathlon-ing.
Registering: I'm greeted with excitement and a little bit if nervousness-- but mostly excitement.
Training brings an almost equal mix of love and hate-- love how you feel after good training, love having purpose to your training, hate the rough days and PAIN it takes to get to the good training.
Race weekend: I've come to hate race weekend. 'If you hate it why do you do it?' one might ask-- with good reason. The answer is because..
Crossing the finish line is such a ridiculously fantastic feeling that squelches any ounce of negativity one may have ever felt in the pursuit of it.

Soo it's race weekend and right now I want to THROW UP until I am shriveled into a little dry ball so I will have a legit reason for why I can't possibly take on the task that stands before me.

Went to the Expo today with my coworker who I dragged into this mess. Until then I wasn't feeling super fantastic about anything, but I was in a content state of ignorance and helplessness: There's nothing I can do about being unprepared now... However, walking into the expo and listening to the course talk, all that I have avoided thinking about is shoved in my face. I feel the vomit creeping up my throat as he goes through the swim start (honestly my second least favorite part of the race... second only to the run haha). I feel my self start to lose my breath as he talks about transition and bike safety. When he gets to the run I feel faint and check my pulse-- I've reached my target heart rate.
I was thinking back to last year and I realized that while I was nervous and had anxiety then, too, it didn't seem this extreme! Then I realized that I was much more intentional and disciplined in my training than I have been this year. While a significant part of these things is mental, that's not going to help me here because I KNOW how much I SHOULD NOT be able to have a good race because I didn't prepare myself to have a good race. When I think to myself "You can do this you just have to believe you can" I will retort with "But I know I CAN'T because I didn't traaaain!' only to start an inner-squabble that will waste more energy than it will create and therefore potentiate my pitiful performance. However last year, when I knew I worked hard to be ready and do my best, I remember on the run wanting to quit SO bad.. or to walk at least, but I kept thinking 'I didn't work my ass off all summer to pansy out now.' Ugh, I'm doomed.
Thus begins my 24 hour panic attack. Honestly my hands are jittery and I can't get a full breath of air in my lungs. It's a problem. I'm glad to report that I am in wave 29 instead of wave 50-something this year. The pre-race wait is the worst and while I'll still have to wait more than two hours after the first wave, my friend is in wave 50 (out of 59 total!) and has to wait an hour and a half LONGER than I do. So I will be grateful for that.
The weather is going to be rather heinous, although suddenly they're revoking the rain prediction. I am highly suspicious though. At 6am the air temp is supposed to be FIFTY ONE degrees, FEELS LIKE FORTY EIGHT. It's just the end of August, whatever.

..So this stage in the weekend is not a fun one because I am feeling all of the panic that I refused to feel in the weeks building up to the event. But I am hopeful that if I can whale myself to the finish line I will meet the euphoric bliss that I faintly remember. I don't even have a worthy cause to say 'at least it's for a good cause' anymore. Man! I would say 'I've learned my lesson' but this is not the first time this has happened and I doubt it will be the last. What a tool!

I'll get back there, there's no option here.

2009-08-26T04:10:00.006-05:00

So approximately seven minutes after I wrote my previous post, I walked out the door to go on what was the second most pathetic run of my life. I shuffled just under two miles to the lake then sat and people watched for a good half hour-- long enough that my sweaty shirt dried-- then shuffled back. I am very grateful for the lake and what it offers (a 'beach', a super long trail, (gross) swimming opportunity, etc). I don't know what this running funk is about but it has hung around for far too long and I yearn for the times that I'd run every day-- eight miles or five miles--no matter what. Ever since my foot exploded this winter I've been believing that I'll get back there, but honestly... eight--almost nine months later I'm losing hope. I will try to be happy that I actually attempted a run yesterday, though. Perhaps acknowledging extreme lack of motivation is the key to obtaining a little of it.

-The triathlon is this Sunday and I am all sorts of nervous. This summer and my triathlon experiences have made me realize how essential a team environment is when training for something. I totally took my soccer teams for granted in the aspect of how they kept me accountable to do my best every time. No one was ever breathing down my neck saying DO YOUR BEST but knowing that it was expected was enough to make me push myself as hard as possible. Even in the off season-- I would think I do NOT want to run today, but would realize I have 18ish teammates that are counting on me to be prepared to play for 90 straight minutes-- there's no option here. Team in Training last year provided that, too. While any inadequacies wouldn't affect my teammates in training, they would recognize if I was being a slacker. I wish it didn't take other people to motivate me to consistently push hard.

-As previously mentioned, I have new running shoes as of yesterday. I love new shoes, and I love that I got them ON SALE and with free shipping. Zappos.com is a site (started by an 18 year old or something crazy) that I have disregarded several times in the past because I thought their prices were too high. Not this time! I found my shoes (in the newer model) for the same price everyone else had them. I figured I might as well get these because shipping on this site is FREE, so I'd save some $$ there comparatively to other places. Then I clicked to change the color and the price went down $17! Yes please, I'll TOTALLY take the orange and lime over the red (which really looked like pink..). So I ordered them on Monday morning and then a UPS man was at my door by 10:30am Tuesday morning! Apparently the 'free shipping' is free overnight shipping! That is very exciting and very conducive to breaking these puppies in before Sunday. If ONLY I could convince myself to run.

-A few days ago was the Alumni soccer game at my alma mater. I had very mixed feelings about going-- Hell no! Was my initial reaction as old wounds from my senior year haven't completely healed (as pathetic as it may be). However, I realized how many other alumni would be going and that I'd kick myself for missing the opportunity to catch up. So I convinced myself to clear several hurdles in order to attend, and am SO glad I did. Not only did I see people that I've missed since playing with them, but we WON and it was sooooooooooooo vindicating. It was hardly a good game (the 12 alumni were out of shape (minus the two or three of them that have continued to play) and the pace of the game was really slow), but winning made all the difference. The alumni recognized our lack of fitness and decided we needed to pass the ball up the field instead of hoping someone would be able to run on to a long ball-- THAT IS HOW THE GAME SHOULD BE PLAYED NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PHYSICAL FITNESS. It was good and I am so glad I went. I haven't played in my cleats for .. more than a month or two and I have a blister to write home about! Holy cow it's red and raw and I felt it rip open in my shoe just before half time. I'm nervous about what it will feel like in the triathlon. I also have a nice turf burn and a big ole bruise right beside it. Man, I miss that game.

I woke up early this morning to go lift before work, but it is torrential downpour and I refuse to ride my bike in the rain-- especially if I have to end up at work.

Weather for the triathlon on Sunday: High of 64 and showers. SERIOUSLY?! Why not let it snow? For the love of all humanity the weather is craaazy. If I fall off my bike due to slippery roads or because someone else has crashed due to the slippery roads, I will be VERY upset. However, the saying goes 'if you don't like the weather here, wait for five minutes and it will change.' So perhaps there is still hope...?

wtF

2009-08-25T17:10:00.002-05:00

OMG i am out of control.

for the life of me i can't make myself go run-- outside or on the treadmill. here i sit in running attire, NEW RUNNING SHOES, staring out the window at truly ideal running weather, but have absolutely no desire to go. not only do i lack desire, i have an abundance of un-desire. wtf. this is not me and not who i want to be. nooo bueno whatsoever. beyond frustrating and really poor timing considering the fact that, as much as i have chosen to ignore it and deny it, the HALF MARATHON that i whimsically registered for is a mere eighteen days away and i haven't even considered intentionally training for it. omg i am out of control.

The Race

2009-08-18T15:01:00.003-05:00

By the time I'd arrived to transition in the morning I was so NOT excited for what was about to go down. Everything had just been building up negative energy: the last triathlon shenanigan, worrying about getting my bike there, barely getting my bike out of the car, CONSTRUCTION up to wazoo, trying to FIND transition... It was all so much more complicated than it should ever be and made everything building up to the race not fun, and well when you do these things for fun it becomes a serious problem when lack of fun is had. So I was grumpy and thinking I should just go home, I'm done with triathlons, this is stupid.
By the time I got into transition and my spot set up I was exhausted from all the worrying I'd done in the past 24 hours. I was in and set up by 4:45am so I had an hour and 15 minutes to kill before they closed it. I walked the in's and out's and hit up the port-a-potties twice. The promised bike guys didn't show up until 5:40am and I wasn't about to move my bike at that point-- the late comers will take any open spot on the bike rack no matter what. The last thing I needed was to find a new spot. I saw a guy a couple of bikes down with a bike pump and stared for a long time hoping he'd get my telepathic messages asking if I could borrow it. He didn't so I swallowed my pride and asked. He hesitated-- I hate that. But he handed it over and after I pumped up the front, I was maneuvering under the bike rack to do the back tire and he goes "oh, I need that back now." I hesitated. haha. What a clown, oh well I got the front one pumped up, better than nothing. I looked around and was taken aback at how many people looked like fancy pants super athletes. Usually there's a fair mix: crazy chiseled and professional folk all the way to the grandmother who decided to give-it-a-tri. However, there weren't any (obvious)grandmas and it was intimidating.
I finally made my way to the swim start. The announcer man who'd been rattling off little facts and tidbits all morning was the same guy from the worst-triathlon-in-the-world. When I heard his voice I cringed a little bit, but then remembered how right he was for the last one, so I gave him due credit. I was in wave 4 for the swim start. When I'm in a later Wave, I love/hate it: it gives me time to see how other people are doing and spectators aren't as enthusiastic about watching wave twenty-something.. but at the same time it adds an hour or so of anxiety and 'I HAVE TO PEE!' time. So the earlier wave was okay this time, the earlier you start the earlier you finish. Theoretically anyways. Sooner than I knew it I was thrashing about with SIXTY other women. Shudder. I hate the swim start. For the first five-ish minutes I think to myself 'There is no way this is going to thin out or get better. There is no way I can do this for a whole mile. This is ridiculous, I should just stop now.' My self defeating attitude is really getting old. I got kicked in the face and in the ribs and have weird bruises on the underside of my arm. My ribs still hurt when I breathe deep! RIDICULOUS. Lo and behold it did thin out and was okay for the most part. The route was weird: a triangle. This is bad because it means you have to look up to make sure you're 'on course' the whole time. Once I finally would get oriented to my straight line it seemed like the next buoy popped up and I'd have to make an awkward turn and get all discombobulated again. Oh well. I finished it and moved on.
The bike. Lordy Lordy. Wisconsin can be known in the Midwest to be hilly. People 'ski' in Wisconsin... Based on the bike leg of this race, I'd say the hilly label is accurate. I wasn't about to go strap on my ski's but it was significantly more incline than I've encountered since my last summer at home when I'd bike to the gym. The hills and the WIND really caught me off guard. I am so grateful for my fancy bike because I really used its functioning gears a lot! I can't figure one thing out: I think I'm in the highest gear possible, but then when going down hill there is a point where it feels like I'm 'free wheeling,' there's zero resistance.. but I can't shift UP anymore. Other people however, are able to find a higher gear on their bikes. I am torn between if it's the fact that I just don't have as many gears or if I am a moron and don't know which way to shift. That was the biggest frustration. I handled the climbs well, I like climbing to be honest, but the on the down hill I had to coast, I couldn't maximize on the advantage gravity was giving me. Hopefully I can figure that out before Chicago, because there are a lot of inclines in that race, too.
After paying EXTRA EXTRA close attention on the bike to ensure I did my two laps (no one will every accuse me of cheating again!) it was on to the run. The run was the worst run of my life! Oh my goodness. During the swim and bike I felt alright. Not awesome, but like I was holding my own. That all faded dramatically when it came time to run/jog/shuffle/limp/waddle. I remember after the Chicago race last year vowing to do more BRICK workouts so that my run wouldn't be as dismal. I have done ONE intentional BRICK since then. Whoops. It was REALLY hot by this point. During the whole bike there'd been clouds so it was CRAZY humid, but as soon as I left transition for the run, there wasn't a cloud in the sky so the sun just BEAT down the whole time. The course was weird, it seemed like it would never end. The first half was on a street but no spectators were allowed on it. There is a lot to be said for those that cheer. It boosts morale a lot. AND headphones are still not allowed in this fantastic sport so it was silent on the run aside from the thud-ing of feet and the gasping for air (to which I was a huge contributor). Dismal. And it's WISCONSIN so the scenery was far from awesome. I've failed to mention until now that this whole time I had to urinate. It's a serious problem. They preach at you to hydrate like a champ, but hellloooo then you have to pee every hour! To make it worse, there weren't ANY porta potties on the whole course, except for in transition, and even then they were really poorly located. So by the time I got to the run I thought I was going to throw up I had to pee so bad. For all you weak stomached individuals, I suggest you stop here. I definitely peed WHILE running. Thank you VERY MUCH. Disgusting? Of course? Dirty? Yes. RELIEVING TO NO END? MOST DEFINITELY. Omygosh I felt sooo much better once I let 'er rip. It really wasn't a conscious decision-- if it were that easy I would have done it ages ago. It just kind of happened and it was glorious in its repulsiveness. I was consistently throwing water on myself at the water stops so it wasn't ...toooo obvious. That's what I tell myself anyways. The run was just awful though I felt like I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe. It stretched on FOREVER and I kept thinking 'HA and you wanted to do a half IRONMAN?!' One way or another, though I finished it. The finish line is always good and bad. Good: you're done, people give you food and drink, you're done, you can breathe, you're done, etc. Bad: Everything tightens up ALL at once no matter what, you can barely stand up straight minus continue to walk, it is SOOO crowded by spectators, finishers, and volunteers-- we know how I feel about crowds, etc. But whatever, I was done. I got my cold towel, water, Gatorade, quarter of a bagel (budget cuts! HA!) and banana and started willing my feet to carry me back to transition to gather my stuff.

I got back to transition and really wasn't focusing well and couldn't make myself DO anything but stand there. I saw a man sitting on the curb behind the bike rack and I dubbed him a GENIUS and followed his example. I decided to finish my bagel and Gatorade, THEN pack up. This man started chatting (he's like 50 something with 4 kids, mom wipe that look off your face) and I looked at him cross eyed and smiled and nodded. He told me he'd done a half ironman earlier in the summer. "One and done," he said-- he didn't enjoy it and didn't plan on doing it again. "Same with a full marathon. One and done." I think I have to agree. While I still want to do a half ironman, I don't see myself doing them often. One. Maybe two. Then I'll stick with International triathlons and half marathons. Just because your body can be forced to run 26 miles or do other crazy things, doesn't mean it was really meant to. I'd rather have my body work for the rest of my life than do crazy long races for a few years then not be able to move. This man also said something that was soo appropriate: "You can't focus on the numbers, then it's not fun anymore. And if it's not fun, then you're in the wrong sport." ZING. Bring it home. I have been so focused on numbers and improving and all that statistical nonsense that it really hasn't been super fun the past month or so. I think he's right. I have to do it to have fun and let that be enough. While wanting to improve isn't bad, too much cookie dough will make you nauseous. That metaphor works for EVERYTHING.
That being said, I choose to keep my times to myself. They're really nothing to boast about and are almost EXACTLY the same as the Chicago race last year-- run and swim are within a few seconds. Except for the bike, that was dramatically better-- appropriately because I have a real bike. So I finally got under three hours and I will be content with that.
Yesterday I woke up and couldn't MOVE. My back was so sore I thought I'd been in a car wreck or something. It's upsetting. I did a short and easy swim yesterday hoping to get some lactic acid out, and today is a little better. I went to spinning this morning. I'm not a big fan of the instructor (she has a big 'I'm a badass' attitude and it's just obnoxious) but I heard her talking and she did the same race. I was about to say 'oh! me too!' but she launched into how awesome she did and I didn't dare interrupt. I'm forcing myself to run tonight even though my back still aches and my lungs don't really expand all the way (that kick in the ribs was extra brutal!) but I think my goal for the Chicago race (in less than two weeks!) will be to feel better about the run, so a run tonight is necessary.

I did take my camera with me but amidst the chaos in getting to the race and pure exhaustion afterwards, didn't snap a single photo. Whoops. We'll see if the event photos are posted soon.

Pre-race PANIC

2009-08-17T08:49:00.006-05:00

So the weekend started out with packet pickup on Saturday in Wisconsin. When I finally got to the site (trip took much longer than expected due to HEAVY construction..EVERYWHERE), I saw people with their bikes and people with medals around their neck. My first thought was "HOLY COW I MISSED THE RACE!!!" Then I realized they were kiddos-- there was the Junior Race that day and the adults race on Sunday. But the bikes were adult bikes. I saw they had set up transition and people were racking their bikes early. I had seen this as an OPTION while perusing the website in prior weeks, but didn't think many people would ACTUALLY do it-- the risk of theft and rain deterred me, not to mention the lack of control I would feel if my precious bike were a whole state away with nothing but a measly metal fence protecting it. No thank you! I chose to leave my steed in the safety of my basement (actually living room because they were drywalling the basement and I hadn't put it back yet. Whoops). I'd emailed the race coordinator upon signing up for the race just to make sure that it wasn't required for participants to rack their bikes on Saturday and received an email back saying that I could bring my bike on race morning. Wonderful. BUT-- a LOT of people were racking their bikes-- transition was starting to look FULL. This made me nervous. So when I picked up my packet I asked the kind volunteer if bike check in was mandatory TODAY (Saturday) or if participants could bring their bikes on race morning. He looked at me with disappointed eyes and said "Well, I think it has to be today..." It was like someone flipped a switch in me-- PANIC! ALARM! NONONONO! While I'm sure my face twitched a little bit and I KNOW my eyebrows shot up into my scalp, I think that outwardly I remained fairly calm as I said "Oh... really? I emailed and asked and someone told me I can bring it tomorrow..." So he went and got the head race lady who gave me the SAME disappointed look and said "You can bring it tomorrow, but you best be here very early." Psh-- no problem-- does she knooow who she's talking to??? No, she doesn't but that was a relief.
I looked at some of the booths at the Expo while I waited for the Course Talk. These expos are the place to go to get new gear because it's usually super discounted. I need new triathlon shorts and a new top to race in (a topic for a later post: "Team in Training POSER"). I found shorts marked down from $65 to $25 which is absolutely fantastic-- but they had FLOWERS on them. C'mon people, just because I'm female doesn't mean I want flowers on my shorts. So I passed on the shorts and found a top for $30 which again is a fantastic price, it was marked down from $75. So I broke down and got it. Still waiting for the course talk, I looked through the packet they gave us (which included a HOODIE (instead of a t-shirt) and a water bottle- far superior to the memorabilia from the two sprints I did earlier in the summer), and saw parking details, etc. Of course I'd looked at this on the website before, but was told it'd been changed within the past 48 hours when I arrived to the Expo. Changes: 1)Parking would be far away from the transition area, and 2) While there would be a shuttle from parking TO transition, no bikes would be allowed on it. Balls. This caused me a lot more stress than it should have (hindsight's a bear). I had barely been able to arrive at the race site in broad daylight by car, how was I supposed to FIND a new parking venue in the dark, and then BIKE to the race site from there-- IN THE DARK. So from then until I actually arrived to transition the next morning-- my anxiety level was through the roof. I spent a good two hours on googlemaps trying to figure it all out. This giant knife was twisted by the MAJOR construction EVERYWHERE and that they closed SEVERAL roads FOR the race! Aye carumba, I'm certain that I obtained an ulcer. I thought to myself 'Well, you'll just have to leave even earlier.' Then I remembered I had reserved my Zipcar for 3am--a measly ONE HOUR before I needed to be at transition. So foolish. I packed my bag and filled my water bottles-- got everything ready. I went to pump up my bike tires and was mortified to learn that due to the drywalling in the basement, my landlord moved his bike pump that I've been ...borrowing. I resorted to visiting the promised bike tent that would be at transition and after going through my checklist seventeen times-- went to bed and had ZERO problems falling asleep even though it was only 7:30pm. Six and a half hours later I was up at 2, and I got out the door by 2:45 to arrive to my Zipcar by 2:55. When I'd reserved the car (a Honda Civic) it said on the site that the seats fold down-- a HUGE factor in my decision. However as I went to load my bike I was rudely met with the fact that no-- the seats don't fold. First ping of panic. So I SHOVED my bike into the backseat. I considered taking of the quick release front wheel but just KNEW that if I took it off, I wouldn't be able to get it back on, because that is how my life goes. So I pushed and pushed with all the adrenaline that was racing through me. I had less than an hour now to make a normal 1hr and 15min journey that would already be lengthened by construction and darkNESS. Definitely ready for the PLEASANT part of this race.
Good thing about the car is that it had an iPod adapter and an I-Pass so I didn't have to stop and/or pay at any tolls. So I cranked the tunes and drove like the wind. The lack of traffic saved me. Through the construction zone there is a 16 mile stretch that is ONE LANE that is sooo narrow. I arrived to PARKING (barely) by 4:05am. LATE. I jumped out and went to retrieve the bike I'd so carelessly wedged in the back seat. It wasn't budging. I went from both sides-- pushing and pulling with all my might-- panic level increasing EXPONENTIALLY with every second that I wasted trying to get the damned thing out. A car pulled up next to me and I thought 'maybe they'll help!' But no, after a good 5 minutes of them dawdling, the girl comes up to me and as I looked at her (SWEATING profusely ALREADY-- it was uber humid) she says "Will you take our picture??" Omg I wanted to spit on her shoes (she may have been one of those super perky always great, good at everything, absolutely gorgeous, probably really really nice.. people you love to hate). So I snapped the photo and was a bit standoffish and went back to my project. By the power of divine intervention ONLY I got it out. I quickly grabbed my bag and scurried over to a parking-guy to ask how to get to transition. He looked at me like I was nutso (appropriately) replying "Umm that-away, Miss." As he pointed into the darkness. I told him 'thank you' and muttered 'for nothing' when he was out of earshot. I boarded my bike rather unsteadily at 4:15am and rode into the darkness to where I thought transition would be. Proof that God exists and is sooo gracious: Not even a minute later I rode up to a group of volunteers on their way to transition. Praise the LORD. There is no way I would have found it without following them. Once I arrived at transition my anxiety decreased SIGNIFICANTLY. I put more worry into actually GETTING to the race than the race itself. It's kind of ridiculous.

What is more ridiculous is the length of this post and I haven't even gotten to the race. And my computer battery is knocking on death's door, so I'll do more later.

STOP

2009-08-10T19:56:00.003-05:00

Admittedly, I'll throw out a "my life is in shambles" or "everything is terrible," but believe it or not, I am so genuinely grateful with every ounce of my being for how insanely simple my life actually is. While some logistics are about to get complicated in coming months, I realize that I have it ... REALLY good.

Be proud-- I avoided real running for an entire week to prevent foot pain. I re-boarded the treadmill today and it was a good day. It is not uncommon for me to very accidentally hit the emergency STOP button on the machine with my spastic arm movements. It is so frustrating! A good run is so rare nowadays, and when it comes it is very fragile and the slightest distraction or STOP shenanigan has insane potential to RUIN it. Fortunately today nothing was ruined-- just a 15 second pause at mile 3. Whatever, I'll be grateful for doing 6 miles in 48 minutes. Still slower than where I was last year, but better than nothing. I need to get new shoes, I'm convinced. I will wait until after this Pleasant Prairie race (this weekend!!) and then get some to break in before Chicago. I don't want to spend the $134 it's going to cost though. Ridiculous.

I never should have said anything about the weather. Humidity has graced us with its presence. It's okay, I am enjoying the heat.. anything is better than winter. I will reserve my complaints for frigid temps (if I ever have to see them again).

....

2009-08-05T16:45:00.003-05:00

I would be lying if I said my foot doesn't hurt sometimes.

I don't understand the way my energy levels work. It seems like when I should have tons of energy, I can barely move. And when I should be utterly exhausted I get several really good workouts in. It never makes sense.

11 days until Pleasant Prairie. I don't feel confident at all. The run terrifies me the most at this point. I know I can run six miles, and I know I can do it outside. But I know I can't do it quickly and I haven't been successful in doing it straight off the bike, either. So we'll see. Also, I haven't swam a mile STRAIGHT in the lake yet this summer, though I go significantly more than a mile in the pool very often. I hate going back and forth from lake to pool; it's just so insanely different and I feel like I waste the first half of the workout just getting re-acclimated. I am glad I am doing this before Chicago, though, I just wish it were four weeks away and Chicago were six weeks away. O well. I think that no matter how prepared I actually am, I will always feel unprepared.

Buck

2009-08-02T22:07:00.003-05:00

Can we discuss the fact that it is August 2nd (almost 3rd) and it's been in the 70s-80s with minimal humidity and overall awesome-ness?! I LOVE THIS WEATHER and am insanely grateful for it. Although, I must admit, I feel like it's well deserved after six months of arctic agony.

Last week I worked out a lot comparatively to what I've been doing all summer. Admittedly I didn't quite make EVERY scheduled workout that I'd planned, but overall it was an okay week. One day I swam just under 2 miles in the morning then biked home to go on a 42 mile bike, then a 6 mile run. Unfortunately during the bike mother nature made her monthly visit and brought crazy cramps with, so my planned 6 mile run turned into a 4 mile shuffle. This is upsetting for two reasons: 1) My workout turned mediocre, 2) I did this workout exactly 1 month before the Chicago triathlon. If mother nature shows up during the race like she did during this workout, I will be very upset!

-Noteworthy things:
*While on a long bike through forest preserve I was zoning out completely and then suddenly realized there was a buck in the middle of the path like fifteen feet in front of me. "OH BUCK!" I shouted (play on words to avoid expletives...? maybe) and fortunately that startled the darn thing enough that I didn't die and more importantly damage my bike in a collision. I am living in a cement jungle, but the wildlife is not far away-- there are even rabbits hopping around this city, it really blows my mind.
*On that same ride when I was on my way back from the trail, I DEFINITELY got stuck IN a Jewish funeral procession. How do I know it was Jewish? The hearse said "Jewish Funerals" on the side. It was the longest procession ever. But I just rode along with. I hope that wasn't rude. Whoops.
*I went to a spinning class led by a man named Don. He is definitely in his late 40s/early 50s and had the personality of Niles Krane from Frasier. He wore a sickly tight tank top (not like the uber sporty and cool ones people wear... more like the complete opposite of sporty and cool) and had several gold chains around his neck and an earring in his left ear. His shorts were spandex and he had tall bike socks and his hair was in a semi-mohawk. He was quite the character. I wasn't a fan of his workout. He made us do climbs for two songs then we'd do one song of pseudo-sprints, then back to a standing climb for 8 minutes. I actually like climbing but value the variety of a good spin workout. The clincher was the fact that like 2-3 minutes into the eternal climbs, he'd say "Don't forget to breeeeeeeathe people!" and he sounded like he had a stuffy nose (but I have a feeling that's how his voice always is..) and it was just comical, I'm not going to lie. If I haven't been breathing for the first two minutes of a standing climb, chances are I'm going to be ...dead by then.

Anyways, I really hope to keep some of the momentum that I had last week as I go into this week. We'll see!

I signed up for a triathlon on August 16th in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin. What can go wrong in a place called Pleasant Prairie?! I just can't go into the Chicago race with the mentality left over from the last race. This will be an Olympic Distance which is very nerve wracking, but it will be a good opportunity to practice before the Chicago race at the end of August. I'm nervous but a little excited, too. I want/need to get my bike tuned up. I'm trying to decide if I should do it before this race or the next one. It'll probably end up being a matter of when it's most convenient.

Neon Purple Fruit Flies ...and pictures.

2009-07-25T14:36:00.011-05:00

I haven't been sleeping well. This is really a stronger statement than it may come off as. I never have trouble sleeping. Ever. On the contrary I have trouble staying awake. However, my apartment is infested with fruit flies. Perhaps they are the biggest thing I hate about summer. They're in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, and even my bedroom which I cleaned-- laundry and all, but they won't go away. Swarms. And it's DISGUSTING. I sleep with my mouth open and I am paralyzed with fear that they will fly in my mouth! I have DREAMT about them hovering over my bed (they were neon purple in my dream... what does that mean?!), and I wake up hourly in a panic as I realize that I have shed my protective blanket while half-sleeping.

All this is to say that I'm really tired. More so than usual. And it's upsetting because since most of the activities I pursue aren't scheduled, most of them don't get done or don't get done until super late when I realize how I've piddled a day a way and get so mad that I finally have energy to move.

Here are pictures from the worst triathlon EVER:

8/11/09 EDIT: Some copyright clown got their knickers in a knot that I took a picture of the picture on my computer screen to obtain the race photos, so those are no longer posted. The last thing I need is to be thrown in jail-- or worse-- thrown a huge fine for a copyright violation. Gotta love the Negative Nancy's of the world. For the love of pete.

...

2009-07-25T11:29:00.002-05:00

When I went to sign up for the triathlon I was considering for this weekend, registration was closed. Irritating, but probably good seeing as how registration is $90, then getting a car would be over $100. Through my job I joined Zipcar. Being an employee gets me out of the application and annual fee. It's still not cheap hour-by-hour or for the day, but it rules out gas, a lot of taxes, and underage fees that come with traditional car rentals.

I ran after work on Thursday. We went to the lakeshore trail and on our way back, we saw Obama and his entourage coming up Lakeshore Drive and then take off in one of FIVE helicopters! It was kind of ridiculous. The hospital I work for is getting ready to move in 2012 and a big issue is that the neighborhood where its moving doesn't want a helipad because of noise and safety concerns. It seemed ironic that Obama parades in with five stinkin' huge helicopters the same night that the hearing for Children's started. HA. What can ya do. It was kinda cool to watch, though. Definitely seemed like a movie or something. It made me glad we ran-- we both left late from work (~8:30) so we weren't thrilled to be running after a long day and having to return bright and early the next morning. So this little bit of excitement was appreciated.

Nothing exciting to report. I think I'm going to need new running shoes before the big race at the end of August. This is good because it means I've been running... bad because they're expensive. We'll see.

I'm still bitter about last weekend-- unreasonably so. I granted myself 24 hours for a pity party and that has passed... by far. So I should really snap out of it. So much easier said than done. I've drawn up a rigorous training plan for the upcoming week and am dreading it but excited to make it happen. Send energizing vibes, it's a doosey.

Choose Your Own Title

2009-07-22T16:10:00.004-05:00

Several titles for this post come to mind...

"Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater"
"Winner!! ... PSYCH!"
"The First Female is Approaching Mile 1..."
"'We've been tracking her the whole race!' (but will wait until 9pm to tell her she's DQ'd)"
...etc.

So this race on Sunday. Lordy. My stomach is still knotted over it so bear with me.
The morning started in the middle of the night, awesome-- it's fine, I'm a morning person and like getting up early. I got going and arrived a little later than I wanted, but thanks to my uber cushy time cushion, I was totally fine.
From the very get go, the race announcer was shouting into the microphone how AWFUL the bike course was. Who hired this clown? I thought as I listened to his warnings: "This is the worst I've seen it, folks-- TAKE IT EASY-- it's not the place to win the race." HELLOOOOO the bike like is the longest part of the race-- you can't tell anyone to take it easy. Seriously, for the couple of hours before the race that's like all he would talk about. Even as we stood waist deep in the 58 degree water (thank the LORD for wetsuits..)waiting to start, the last thing he said before the start horn was 'Seriously, ladies, take it easy on that bike.' I scoffed to express my disbelief at this joker who wouldn't give it a rest. It couldn't be THAT bad if they made it part of the race course.
So we swam. Holy canoli-- 58 degrees is very cold. I usually hyperventilate at the beginning of the swim because of the chaos it entails with other thrashing bodies. However, I'm pretty sure I went into shock as I plunged into the arctic pit and started kicking and flapping my way through the masses. For the first hundred yards I couldn't put my face in the water and definitely was doing a glorified dog paddle. Fortunately I wasn't alone in my pathetic-ness. It seemed that everyone was taken aback at the frigid waters. Once the swim thinned out a little and I numbed up, I used the cold to my advantage to go faster to get the heck out of the water. I had a professor in college that was from the city where the race was (Waukegan), and she always was telling us about how the lake was toxic there for this reason and that. So that's all I could think about whilst in the water-- GET OUT OF HERE!

Out of the water on towards the bike. Once I got back to my spot in transition, there were three other girls parked right in front of my bike. I still couldn't breathe-- so huffing and puffing I decided to charade the fact they were in my way as I tried to wheeze out the message that I needed them to move. They were taking their sweet time-- they SAT DOWN, were changing their clothes, drying their feet... all perfectly reasonable things if you aren't IN A RACE. Honestly. They looked at me like I was on drugs and shuffled out of my way. Flustered, I donned my helmet and bike shoes and was off. I love my bike.

So the clown that was crying about the bike course-- he was right and I take back every negative vibe I sent him because his warnings were totally justified. It was the worst bike course of my entire life. (...which really doesn't say much because I'm not a big biker outside of commuting and the occasional 'training' ride that I do more out of obligation than anything since I bought the fancy bike...) But it was bad. Pot holes, poor paving, cracks, craters, danger danger danger. I saw SEVERAL people trying to fix their flat tires and was SO nervous that I'd get a flat! I'm honestly surprised that I escaped without one. The bike course consisted of a short distance 'out' then two laps on straight away (old highway or something??) then the short distance back to transition. I enjoy the bike because I can go fast and it isn't AS taxing as the run. Don't get me wrong, my quads are definitely burning during the bike and you can hear me breathing a mile away-- but for some reason it seems better. As I finished my second lap, the volunteers that were SHOUTING in megaphones really REALLY screwed me up. When you approach this point you can go two ways-- to the left if you've only done one lap (to start your second), or to the right to finish the bike leg (if you've done your two). I knew I'd done my two. As much as I love the bike, my legs were feeling it and I was ready to use some different muscles. One particular volunteer shouted into her megaphone "YOU MUST MAKE THIS TURN TWICE! THIS IS A TWOOOO LAP COURSE!" This was puzzling to me. You only had to make THAT turn once-- when you finished your first lap, you made the turn and did your second. If someone did that turn twice, they would have done three laps and that is a poor race strategy. I called out to the lady, "if I've already done this turn am I done?" And she pointed her megaphone at me (I was like 3 feet from her by now) and she said "YOU MUST MAKE THIS TURN TWICE! THIS IS A TWOOOO LAP COURSE!" IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE IN THE RACE THAT IS A PERSONAL PROBLEM!" Really? Who are these people? I swore at her under my breath and was frustrated. I didn't want to be a cheater, so I pulled over and asked a different volunteer just to make sure-- he said "YES, if you've made this turn once, you've done two laps, get back to transition!" In a very gung-ho-enthusiastic-go-get-em way. So I went and got 'em.

I got back to transition (barely-- seriously--fancy pants bike took a beating...) I got into my running shoes, drank some Gatorade (which I still refuse to drink WHILE biking due to extreme fear of crashing) and started running. My legs felt better this time than last. Woohoo. Sure they weren't powerhouses or engines... but they were like... limp noodles that have been left out for a long time so they're a little stiffer. ... hahaaha o man. Anyways, as I started the run, I noticed a woman on a bike in front of me. Oh man, she's confused. I didn't think too much of it though, I just needed to pound out these four miles and get some gatorade-- I was thirsty. As I ran I got closer to her and recognized her from Team in Training-- she was the 'main lady' who did all the communication and organizing. So I talked with her (more like wheezed at and sweated on) a little bit and she said "you're the first female on the course-- we'll be hanging out." Apparently she was a race official and her job was to lead the first female so they could 'track' her (me?). When she said I was first I replied with "no I'm not." How absurd. I am contently average. I am a participant not a winner. C'mon. Don't toy with me. I realized she was serious when I heard her say into a walkie talkie "the first female is approaching mile one." WTF. Craaaaazy. There were some seriously B-A looking females at this race.. no WAY was I first. I laughed it off thinking "they're making a big mistake" but just kept running. People that were cheering were like "THE FIRST GIRL!! WOOHOO!!!" It was crazy! I got to the halfway point and turned around (it was an out and back course). About seven minutes after turning around I saw another girl. I hadn't realized it but up until this point I was surrounded by men (FINALLY in life-- shoot!). Then I started to realize that I actually was the first girl on the course. I knew that my wave was the first female wave to go, so it was almost fathomable. Maybe there'd been a big bike crash and all the other women were unable to continue. At like mile 3.5, some lady who I'd passed earlier in the race (..at like a half mile) saw me round the corner and said "THERE'S OUR GIRL! SHE CAME!" For a second I was like "...mom?" Who says "our" girl if they're not your family? This woman, apparently. People treat you better when they think you're awesome, I suppose. Her remarks made me laugh out loud and helped carry me to the finish line. I WAS wheezing at this point-- very audibly and as people cheered when I went by they also furrowed their brows undoubtedly wondering "...is she going to make it?" I rounded the last corner and saw the finish line. "AND HERE SHE COMES, OUR FIRST FEMALE, WE'VE BEEN TRACKING HER THE WHOLE COURSE... KRISTIN OOOOOOURRRADAAAAA!!!" Holy shit! PINCH ME I AM SERIOUSLY DREAMING...and probably oversleeping and missing the race.. People were cheering SO LOUD-- like what you see on TV. For me. How could this be possible?? AVERAGE. Content with average. Working towards being consistently average as opposed to crippled. There was a big ribbon-- and they were holding it for me to run through. I might as well have fainted because the rest is quite a blur. I was so excited, and so confused. I really didn't believe it.

So as I walked down the finish chute, people were saying congratulations and good work and it was crazy. I was shocked.

I waited to watch my friend finish, then we went back to get our stuff from transition. I still didn't really believe it, but we went to the awards ceremony. Lo and behold, they called my name for the overall female winner. By one minute and a couple of seconds. Whaaaaat?! I got a sweet backpack (it's pink though... hmm), a hat, and a 1st place medal. I don't think I've ever gotten a first place medal. I did get a third place one for a soccer tournament in like... 4th grade, but ever since it's been a participation trophy or something lame. I was so stinkin' excited.

I called my parents, texted a lot of people and posted the news on facebook. I celebrated with a trip to Costco (I had a car afterall), and kicked my feet up for the afternoon, trying to wrap my head around it all...

Before I went to bed, I checked my email one last time, only to find terrible news there. Apparently, I had been disqualified therefore I was not a winner, in fact they think I'm a cheater and therefore a giant LOSER. Remember in the bike when I pulled over to make sure I wasn't being a cheater? When I pulled back on to the bike, I missed the timing mat that one needs to cross in order to indicate the second lap has been completed. So it looks to the officials that I only did one lap and that is severely frowned upon. What a buzz kill. I read that email and vomited.
Winning was such a high high and then reading that I got DQd was like an INSTANT launch to a low low. Honestly it's like a physiological response-- how disappointing. How embarrassing.

Honestly, I'm kind of annoyed. If they were 'tracking me the whole race' don't they know I did two laps? AND even if not crossing the mat is the unforgivable sin of triathlons, wouldn't they have figured that out BEFORE the awards ceremony that happened like a good hour and a half after I finished?? Seriously, all the hype and excitement was apparently undeserved and I'm embarrassed! Also-- I feel badly for whoever was 'rightfully' first place. I kinda stole her thunder and that was NEVER my intention. I think it's just more embarassing than anything. I'd rather trip and fall on every run I ever do in my life than have had this happen. Shoot.

Perhaps the most humbling part is when they said "please return the medal to this address at your earliest convenience." Ugh. Medals are medals and really mean jack, but for some reason that hurt.

Needless to say ever since Sunday night I have been less than a barrel of laughs. I have been quite the beyotch if we're going to be honest. I have avoided communication with most people at all costs and limited my activity to the gym and wallowing in self pity and distracting myself by watching old episodes of Felicity online. Talk about a low low! HA!

All of Monday I thought 'this is stupid, I don't want to do anymore triathlons.' I tasted what it was like to be good and I liked it. I didn't/don't really want to go back to being average. Tuesday I was apathetic about everything including my future pursuit of triathlons: 'I may do more, I may not. Don't know, don't care.' Today I found one that is happening on Sunday (the 26th) and want to do it just to get this disgusting taste out of my mouth regarding the sport.

Practically speaking, I know I'm not going to win a race again-- this shenanigan was pretty random and lucky while it lasted and it's insanely unfortunate that it ended the way it did. After every other triathlon I've done before this one (haha... both of them...), I've been consumed with a NEED to do another one as soon as possible. But after this Sunday, I seem to have lost some enthusiasm. I'm optimistic that it will return once I race again, but am discouraged regardless.

In good news, I got to keep the backpack and the hat. Haha, suckers.

Disgustingly long post-- but it needed to be done. My parents probably think I've flown off the deep end and become catatonic so if anything this will let them know that I'm alive and slowly coming back to life. They know how much of a sore loser I am.

Gravity is a Bear

2009-07-16T22:39:00.002-05:00

I get embarassed too easily.
For the most part I think I'm okay at shaking things off, but every now and then, I get VERY embarassed.
I ran outside after work today with my friend and coworker who is doing this triathlon with me. It wasn't a crazy hard or long run, but it was good to get out and do it, especially after a long day at work. We were almost done running and I totally bit the dust-- superman style. Just laid it out completely on the sidewalk. This happens. I'd be lying if I said it'd never happened to me before. Sidewalks are uneven, it was getting pretty dark by this point, it's not THAT far fetched. But I am just mortified. Ugh, I am such a loser.
On the way home, I bought some bandaids. You'd think that I'd have them, but I don't. And to make myself feel better, I splurged for the super hero bandaids... I did go down like Superman afterall.
My palms are bruised and one knee is scraped and the other is bruised. How ridiculous am I?! For the love of pete.

Race this Sunday. Found a car-- my nursing school friend, Kirsten, consistently saves my life. I'm so grateful! Hopefully I will be able to stay on my feet during the race. Shoot.

Will Work For Ride

2009-07-11T09:59:00.003-05:00

-The car I was relying on to get to the triathlon next week has been taken back. New options: hitchhike, walk, Metra (arrive at 1am..), quit, pout. Right now I'm embracing the pouting plan. And I may have put a post on Craigs List.. hahaha. Desperate times, people!

-I've been waking up to workout before work. The first couple of times I just lifted, but yesterday I ran. It was not fun. Nothing really works the same at 4am.

-I went on a long bike ride yesterday. I wish there were more trails available in this city! I love the trail I have, but must admit I am getting a little bored with it.

-Went to an open water swim clinic last week and was not a fan. It started more than thirty minutes late (you know my feelings on tardiness), and the water was VERY choppy. I felt nauseous. I suppose it's good practice though, as my wave-mates will make the water quite choppy in any race. Bah.

-I am starting to think about thinking about obtaining a car. If my future goes my way it will be as close to necessary as possible without being 100% necessary. Notice I said 'obtaining' as opposed to buying. I really hate that cars are so much money! Not only do you have to drop your life savings on it to GET it, but then it continues to suck you dry with insurance, gas, and maintenance. Sick. I want to go on a game show and hear "...A NEW CAR!" and then NOT have to pay taxes on it afterward.

-I woke up at 3am on Thursday to go to the gym before work. My morning went just as planned until I arrived at work and saw on the assignment sheet that I was not there. I copied my schedule incorrectly. Infuriating. And of course, because staffing is complicated beyond comprehension, there was no way for me to just stay and then be off Friday (which I was apparently scheduled for).

-The weather is fantastic today and it is one of my more sincere hopes that it stays this way for a while.

Gill Park Pool: the jury is still out

2009-07-07T09:05:00.005-05:00

It wasn't until this morning that I had an opportunity to go to the most promising pool. Between working, other activities, laziness, and serious alarm malfunctions, it's taken me this long to embrace the Park District's pool. It was crowded. However, there were six lanes, making them much more appropriately sized. Everyone arrives to the pool between 6:57 and 7:03. Of course I got there at 6:35, ready to start early if they (heaven forbid) left the door unlocked. When the clock strikes 7 it's a mad dash to the pool and a crazy start; somewhat similar to a triathlon start. No one stretches, no one eases into anything, they just go. So I went, too. It wasn't the bliss of my cheater-pool. But it was far better than Welles Park. It started out that I was splitting a lane with a crazy fast swimmer (love those), but I didn't care because I had my half of the lane and didn't have to worry about anything (even though I had a rather obnoxious battle with the damned lane line because the clown in the next lane over was quite the enthusiastic arm thrasher and dolphin kicker...). About 15 minute in I felt someone squeezing my arm and I gasped under water-- bad news. She was asking me to circle-swim because a third person had joined us. After clearing the water from my lungs I agreed and so we went. It wasn't fantastic, I won't lie. I was irritated, but I was able to finish the workout. Not gracefully...and I didn't feel good about it, but I finished it, which is an improvement from last time. We'll see.

On my way home from the gym the other day, I stopped by the pool that is a half mile from my apartment to watch how the 'adult lap' swim went down there. It's an outdoor pool so I was the creeper outside the fence watching. Can you guess? Crowded. A lifeguard walked by where I was standing and he told me that they never use lane lines because they don't have them (while the lane line really pissed me off today, they're very necessary in my opinion.. boundaries are huge). I asked if there are at least black lines to follow on the bottom of the pool and he replied "there are white lines... but the bottom is white, so you can't really see them." wtf. He said the best way to do it is to get there super early and get in first to get a spot by the wall to help guarantee you'll go straight. The wall?? No thanks. I avoid the wall at all costs anywhere else. We'll see, I might venture over there at one point or another. I still want to go back to the pool I LIKE a lot, but can't justify dropping $80 to do so. Dumb.

I managed to weasel a way into the Harbor Lights Triathlon on July 19th! Registering was not the issue, rather getting off work that weekend. I will work from 3-7pm on Saturday the 18th, but that will have to be okay because that's the only option. This will allow me to get my packet on Saturday morning. And a friend of mine agreed to let me use her car on Sunday which is HUGE and I am SO grateful. She definitely said "I'll show you how to make it work if it goes funny..." I furrowed my brow and said "...oh?" and she replied "yea, there's a specific spot on the engine you have to hit with a hammer sometimes... and other stuff like that." HA. It's a car and I am SO excited.

AND I switched the weekend for the Chicago Triathlon in August. That was one I didn't want to have to stress out about last minute.

Welles Park Pool: Veto

2009-06-30T08:12:00.003-05:00

...Yesterday I bought pool pass for the Chicago Park District. For $22 I can swim all summer at any Park District Pool, and there are several all over the city, and three that are within three miles of my apartment.
I went today to the second most promising one. They have Adult Lap Swim from 7:30 to 9am. I left my apartment at 6:54 and was surprised that it only took me ten minutes to get there. They REALLY mean 7:30 and not a second sooner. For a good twenty minutes I was the only person there and I was very happy about that. But at 7:26 people started flooding in. Sick. Everyone plopped in and started swimming. The pool is 25 yards long (standard) and has potential to be 6 lanes wide. However, they make three GIGANTIC LANES. You swim down the pool on one side and have to finagle your way to the other side to swim back. Obviously I didn't have the luxury of my own lane (my cheating pool SPOILED me). It was disastrous. There were just far too many people. The wide lane did allow for passing which was nice unless you were too close to the wall-- then you collide with someone who's trying to diagonally push off the wall on their way back or cut off whoever you're passing... I regret to say that I got so frustrated I just got out and left. Maybe ten minutes into it I put up my white flag. By this time I'd already lost count. I really wasn't going to be able to get in a good workout. I was just getting irritated and I don't doubt people were irritated with me. In the locker room I spoke with a woman on her way in and asked her if it's usually crowded and everything and she said yes. I guess I'm not the only one to take advantage of the $22 swim pass. Boo.

Tomorrow I'll try the more promising pool. We'll see. It's a bit further from my apartment, but if it is a better setup, it'll be worth it.

Now I'm going to spinning. Hopefully that pans out better than swimming!

2009-06-25T09:24:00.011-05:00

I wish it wasn't unsafe/illegal to wear headphones whilst biking. I won't deny that the quietness of the forest preserve is nice, but sometimes I just want to listen to music while riding. Unfortunately, safety trumps all. Even though there aren't cars on this trail, there are plenty of other bikers, walkers/joggers, and unaware children (and adults, lets be serious) to be heard. Bah.

I swam in the lake again on Tuesday. It wasn't too bad. My friend and I swam out to the half mile buoy and back. On the swim back I timed myself and was sorely disappointed with a 22 minute finish. It really makes me wonder how legit these posted distances are, both in the lake and at races. Supposedly at the race in Naperville, I did the swim in 11:55. Sooo all of the sudden it takes me twice as long? WTF. Given, race day brings adrenaline and competitiveness blah blah blah... but that is a craaazy discrepancy. Maybe the problem is my watch. Afterall there was a discrepancy with my final time of that race, too... the common factor is the watch. Hmm.. Oh well. It was an enjoyable swim, especially because it was in the high 90s that day and the lake was a cool 60ish degrees. My wet suit DEFINITELY irritated my neck though. There is a bright red ring ALL the way around it, suggesting I was strangled. Try explaining that to patients and their parents! Shoot.

There is a race on July 19th that I really want to do but am scheduled to work that weekend. Someone else had asked me to switch with them so I could work their 25th/26th and they could do my 18th/19th, and I told them I'd check my calendar and by the time I saw her again at work she'd found someone else. Boo. Apparently this is a very popular weekend as NO ONE has been able to switch. In a last ditch effort, I emailed my boss asking if there is any way she can think of (I AM afterall working three weekends in a ROW right now...), and am awaiting her reply. The triathlon season is too short to only do two races. I really hope this one works out!

I went on a long run the other day (before work-- stupid), and my calves were SO sore. Whenever my muscles are sore I think that they MUST look more defined. If I can feel them with every movement, other people must be able to see them. False. If they're so out of shape that a run makes them ache so badly they're probably microscopic in size therefore painfully invisible.

I'm off to ride my bike because it's super sunny. It's also super hot which isn't AWESOME but I am sooo grateful it's not cold. Honestly. But before I go, the photos from the Naperville race were posted but you have to pay a SICK amount to get them and you can't just save them to your computer... so I took pictures of the pictures on my screen... haha.

It's upsetting how beastly one looks while swimming, biking, and running in spandex. Sigh.

2009-06-23T07:12:00.003-05:00

-I found a new Craig's List Bike Guy who came to fix my junker. For a ridiculously small fee he reattached my brake and claimed to fix my derailleur, but didn't. It's okay I don't expect miracles from Craig's List. Overall I am grateful to have a somewhat functioning bike again. But this clown that came to fix it doesn't wear a helmet, AND he wears headphones whilst riding on the streets in Chicago. I said to him "Oh, you forgot your helmet?" and he replied "oh.... um, no I don't wear a helmet." Then I asked "Oh, you don't value your cranium?!" Then he shot me a weird look and an uncomfortable laugh and skidaddled right out of my back yard. Nut job.

-The next day I rode said bike to the gym to SWIM. This is the first time I've used this gym's pool, and I'm not at all impressed with it, but wasn't quite as mortified by it as I thought I would have been. Upon leaving and riding home, the biggest monsoon/tornado watch/thunder and lightening storm struck. Go figure. I got sooooaked. I think it was God's way of telling me I should have swam longer. I also learned that my brakes don't work when it's raining after almost hitting two cars because I couldn't stop.

-I am off to swim in the lake (dry heave). Then back home to take a nap, then to my last night shift for... at least a month! Thank goodness.

My Two Cents

Fruit Fly Shenanigans

Purchase Confirmed

For you, mom. :)

"Don't defibrilate me."

Random

Spinning

"I can't believe it's January!"

Yup

Text Twist (sit, wit, wits, its, twit, twits...), etc.

White Elephant-- I mean super fancy stuff.

Dental Dilemma

Strike one, Seattle

Back in the Saddle Again

They cut me.

Would you like some brownie with your garlic?

DAYS!

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Puke

A Picture Post

My First Pedicure

Good Things

Nothing Exciting

gRaTeFuL

"It's taken care of."

Blinking Bug Bites

Night Shift Blues

Please knock

Youth on Age

ROTFL

Freak Lobster

Kujo

Holy Day Shift

Practice

the bowels of hell

Well....

Sugar Fairy & Crazy Eyes Chaos with a Fish Stench Issue

Paranoid

Oh snap.

Aquatic Aspirations

Courthouse Shoutout

Near Death

"Girrrl, you crazy."

Confession

P.U.

War Victory (...i think)

I have won the battle...

The Great War of Apartment #104

FML

"Do you want some of this?"

Nothing Exciting

Jesus Crows

Circus Cycling

A post in *aStErIsKs*

"Thees ees okay?"

slowly but surely

Updates

"A cute car for a cute girl..." CREEPER

Finally

Torn

A+

brr

One Way

LIMBO NO MORE

Limboooo

Recap

Oregon FUN

homebound

I can't move

Lesson Learned?

..oh yea..

Chi Tri '09

Race Weekend (GULP)

I'll get back there, there's no option here.

wtF

The Race

Pre-race PANIC

STOP

....

Buck

A post in aStErIsKs